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Your e-Mails

Ralph Young Tunnocks Tea Cake Review	While I applauded your positive stance on the joy of Tunnocks Tea Cakes I feel I must offer a health warning, especially with children in mind. While no one of sound character would ever think of desecrating a biscuit in this way, children are want to choose fizzy pop as an accompanying beverage rather than tea. I once witnessed such an abomination when a young child, midway through a Tunnocks Tea Cake, took a heroic swig of pop. The mix of pop and Tea Cake filling caused a reaction of vesuvian proportions. I soon stopped laughing once I realised the scale of mess I had to clear up. I?m sorry to say that the child received a mild to moderate spanking and was band from eating Tunnocks Tea Cakes Regards Ralph
Henry Odbert	Dear Nicey I got your book for Christmas. I'm glad that there's someone out there pushing forward the frontiers of english leisuretime. I thought you might be interested to see my website. I made it a few years ago to explain the Ultimate Biscuit Combo (UBC) in all it's glory. To this day, I still draw great pleasure from the UBC, and hope that maybe others can share in my biscuit-related joy. Continue your good and noble work Yours Sincerely Henry Odbert
	Nicey replies: I'm assuming you choose the Sainsbury's biscuit based on its complementary diameter.
Buzzy Murray Fox's Mint Echo Review	Hello Nicey & Wifey, I've been addicted to your site for quite some time now - it's fab! I work in a very nice office where the attitude to nice cups of tea and sit downs is pretty relaxed.  In particular, the biscuit-providing arrangement is interestingly unregulated: basically, everyone just brings in some biccies whenever the tin looks a bit empty. So far this has proved entirely sustainable, with the only biscuit-drought occurring immediately after New Year when I think everyone felt that they'd overindulged somewhat so ought to give the biccies a brief miss. Anyhoo, the biccy of choice at the moment, courtesy of a "2fer" at some supermarket or other, is the Fox's Echo.  We've had both plain and mint varieties but there's only minty ones left now.  It'd be interesting to know how you felt about these biccies but that's not why I'm writing.  I'm really wanting to see how widespread the incidence of illicit TimTam Slamming was... I was reading Murray James' letter detailing his difficulties with The Slam (you've got to suck it up quick and slam the second the tea hits your tongue, mate) when it occurred to me that the Echo was of a similar construction to the TimTam - biscuit + filiingy bit enclosed in a choccy coating. Being a bit bored now with the minty taste, but still wanting the choccy and biscuit I threw caution to the wind, made sure no-one was looking and proceeded to Slam my Echo.  And you know, even with the minty bit, it really was not bad at all. The choccy at the end that got dunked went very melty so I wouldn't recommend this for younger members of staff (well, not without a suitable amount of plastic sheeting laid out to a 2m radius anyway) but overall it was a good mix of choccy biscuity meltyness. Bit too much mint filling for my taste but I'd spotted that before I started and was ready for it when it came. I really do think you ought to give it a go.  So, I'm now inspired to experiment with other biscuits.  Is this rash? Foolhardy, even? Does anyone else do this? I can't imagine I'm the only person to have spotted this potential in other biscuits.  And, most importantly, would you have any particular recommendations? Yours meltily, Buzzy Murray Edinburgh
	Nicey replies: Yes the Cadbury's Finger comes in for a fair bit of this treatment, so I'm told.
Peter Burgess	I thought you may be interested to learn that the vending machine in the physics department of imperial college (a place at the very forefront of scientific invention) has a vending machine of the 'clix' brand which in addition to the regular vending machine issues you have highlighted also revels in giving you the 60p you get back from a pound in exchange for your steaming liquid entirely in 1p pieces. In continental tea issues my girlfriend is currently living in Germany where they seem to have pioneered a kind of halfway house between loose leaf and the tea bag. I'm not sure if you are aware of this development but essentially it is a very long teabag which is open at one end, the theory is you put your loose leaf into the bag and then put it into your mug. The teabag is just long enough that it stands in your mug without the contents spilling over into the tea when you add water. I think they're rather clever. Yours Peter Burgess
	Nicey replies: No I'd not heard of those DIY teabags, they sound like they could be well received by 'ALL tea bags are filled with sweepings' brigade. One such lady last Tuesday tried to tell me that those little metal ball things on chains were marvelous, that I should go to India to see how tea is really made before having an opinion on it, and that as she was a wine writer she knew a thing or two about things and I was best advised not to argue with her. I told her that we drink PG and this seemed to annoy her sufficiently.
Murray James Tim Tam vs Penguin Review	Hello there Nicey I have recently moved from England to Thailand for a 6 month work placement, and I have to say that the wonderful contents of your site keep me dreaming of hours of tea and biscuitty/cake based fun when I return to Blighty. I miss certain biscuits, the Bourbon, the Custard Creme, the Ginger Nut, but especially the classic Penguin. It was whilst perusing through your the archived tomes of your website however that I came across an exciting alternative, the eccentrically named 'Tim Tam'.  So having swotted up the great Tim Tam versus Penguin debate, and being a self-admitted Penguin fan, I was of course eager to try and compare the Tim Tams, so on my next visit to the local shop purchased a few packs. I was pleasantly surprised by the Tim Tam. Initially there is something about the little biscuit that looks a touch dodgy, it's snubbed size and curiously dark choclolate coating expire a sense of foreboding, but on taste you realise that in fact Penguins merely scratch the surface of the true iceberg that is Chocolate Coated Biscuitdom. Penguins just seem bland in comparison with a Tim Tam. Tim Tams come in many different deeply tasty varieties, in my opinion the best are Choco-Chocolate and Choc-Vanilla, but even an Original Tim Tam will more than adequately complete your cup of tea and biscuit combo, and leave you with a smile on your face. And maybe a touch of melted chocolate at the corner of your mouth. After a few much enjoyed tasting sessions, I bravely decided, as suggested on this very website and on the bold, brown packaging of the Tim Tams themselves, to try the famous 'Tim Tam Slam'. So I bit off 2 opposite corners, and tried a few times to 'enjoy' my cuppa by sucking it through the biscuit, hoping to filter through some chocolatey goodness. But to my horror, the whole experiment went quite magnificently pear-shaped. Never have I experienced a better way of destroying a biscuit and also a cup of tea. Within just a few seconds of 'Slamming' I found that the bottom third of my Tim Tam was already lost to the dark side of bottom sludge. The top of the Tim Tam also melts, as the steam from your tea rebounds off your face, as you are hunched over the cup, desperately slurping. And if you wear glasses, they will undoubtedly steam up too, thus significantly impairing your vision. With only a miniscule amount of tea slurped through the biscuit, I decided to cut my losses and go for the munch. But the Tim Tam itself had become so soft and gooey that it had lost it's unique taste as it denatured into a watery quagmire, hitting my mouth like a festival buffet stand cup of tea. There was nearly a tear in my eye. The results of the experiment were that firstly I felt and looked like a fool, secondly I had ruined my cup of tea, and thirdly I had also destroyed a couple of delightful Tim Tams that could have so easily been dunked and enjoyed in the 'proper' way. I feel quite ashamed and have vowed never to Tim Tam Slam again. Those Australians need to learn I thing or two about ingesting Tea and Biscuits.  I just thought you should know... Murray PS For a real treat, place your Tim Tams in the freezer ten minutes before you find somewhere for a nice cup of tea and a sit down.
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