"DeskDuck" the only duck swimming about on a pond sort of thing you'll ever need

Your Questions Answered

Q. What is Deskduck?

    Deskduck is a nearest thing you can get, excepting other stuff with better ducks, to having a duck inside your own computer.

Q. And why would I want that?

    Because then you could feed it bread which is quite therapeutic and relaxing.

Q. Ever noticed a bunch of ducks all looking in the same direction?

    I'm glad you asked that, yes, yes I have. I think its because ducks have eyes on the sides of their heads, because they need good all round vision to look out for those who might turn them into lunch. Therefore two ducks will eyeball each other sideways on rather than face to face. Think about it when have you ever seen two ducks conversing face to face? (Sorry you ask the questions.) So if you get a bunch of ducks all looking the same way, really they are all looking at each other, even the odd one or two which are facing 180 degrees in the opposite direction.

Q. Ducks eat slime don't they?

    Your average duck will eat a whole verity of yucky stuff, apart from stale bread. This includes slime, invertebrates (creepy crawlies), frogs, fish and ice cream cones, all of which are fair game for ducks. My mate Mark's ducks used to be very fond of surplus rancid cheese from the milk marketing board, especially when the flies had been at it, they would even fight the dog off for it.

Q. What are the violent head movements for?

    You're talking about the duck, right? Well I think it means "Here I am check it out " or "Get lost you other duck", that general sort of thing. Some times a man duck and a lady duck both do the head thing so it probably means something else. I think it just adds to the whole duck experience.

Q. Should we fear ducks?

    Apart from the possibility of a firm pecking, no you are fairly safe as far as ducks go, its geese you have to watch out for. Mind you I have often thought that with their ability to swim underwater as well as on the surface, and to walk and fly ducks could make the ultimate combat soldier.

Q. Is there a special phobia of ducks that you can have?

    No, you've lost me there, although I have heard of a people being afraid of Daffodils, which when you think about it is fairly reasonable, as the trumpety bits are a bit sinister.

Q. You should do the same thing with a gerbil/kangaroo/parrot/mongoose/etc only it should climb up the side of the window then when you click near it it should run off and collect fruit, and when you click on the lemons etc etc!

    No. And that wasn't a question.

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