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Morning Coffee Review
Just read your review of Morning Coffee - it was never a real favourite of mine, but i did use it for one of my more ostentatious biscuit based experiments in the early eighties.
This was to see how many biscuits could be dunked at one time in a standard sized mug of tea, and the dimensions of Morning Coffee proved ideal. I would pile them on top of one another, grab between forefinger and thumb and then dunk - this would then be placed in the mouth whole.
My record was nineteen.
Hope you are well and love the site.
Ben (lifelong biscuit and cake fan)
Fox's Mint Echo Review
|Hello Nicey & Wifey,|
I've been addicted to your site for quite some time now - it's fab!
I work in a very nice office where the attitude to nice cups of tea and sit downs is pretty relaxed. In particular, the biscuit-providing arrangement is interestingly unregulated: basically, everyone just brings in some biccies whenever the tin looks a bit empty. So far this has proved entirely sustainable, with the only biscuit-drought occurring immediately after New Year when I think everyone felt that they'd overindulged somewhat so ought to give the biccies a brief miss.
Anyhoo, the biccy of choice at the moment, courtesy of a "2fer" at some supermarket or other, is the Fox's Echo. We've had both plain and mint varieties but there's only minty ones left now. It'd be interesting to know how you felt about these biccies but that's not why I'm writing. I'm really wanting to see how widespread the incidence of illicit TimTam Slamming was...
I was reading Murray James' letter detailing his difficulties with The Slam (you've got to suck it up quick and slam the second the tea hits your tongue, mate) when it occurred to me that the Echo was of a similar construction to the TimTam - biscuit + filiingy bit enclosed in a choccy coating. Being a bit bored now with the minty taste, but still wanting the choccy and biscuit I threw caution to the wind, made sure no-one was looking and proceeded to Slam my Echo. And you know, even with the minty bit, it really was not bad at all. The choccy at the end that got dunked went very melty so I wouldn't recommend this for younger members of staff (well, not without a suitable amount of plastic sheeting laid out to a 2m radius anyway) but overall it was a good mix of choccy biscuity meltyness. Bit too much mint filling for my taste but I'd spotted that before I started and was ready for it when it came. I really do think you ought to give it a go.
So, I'm now inspired to experiment with other biscuits. Is this rash? Foolhardy, even? Does anyone else do this? I can't imagine I'm the only person to have spotted this potential in other biscuits. And, most importantly, would you have any particular recommendations?
|Nicey replies: Yes the Cadbury's Finger comes in for a fair bit of this treatment, so I'm told.|
Abbey Crunch Review
I must agree with your comments regarding Abbey Crunch. A number of years ago, my colleagues and I conducted an in depth survey on the 'dip-ability' of a broad range of buscuits. On a daily basis we would subject a different type of bisciut to a range of dips in tea (and coffee too - we were young fools!). On the instructions of the Sales Director, the white board in the sales office was deployed to display the results, and a giant grid was filled to record every aspect of each biscuit's performance. The ultimate winner of course was Abbey Crunch although there were a number of noteworthy contestants too. I must say that the bewildering array of bisciuts available nowadays would need two whiteboards to hold all of the test results. Unfortunately our work was in vain, as I put on 12 pounds in weight and the Company went out of business.
Some years previous to this, I entered in to some correspondence with United Biscuits (I think it was they). I wrote to them complaining and asking why the end two Custard Creams in a pack are ALWAYS broken, and suggested simply removing them. They would naturally be replaced by a piece of foam or similar shock-absorbing material - I suggested that they should contact NASA, as they were very good a developing new composite materials and may have already undertaken a project like this for biscuits on the space shuttle. Let's face it, reaching escape velocity from the Earth's gravitational pull would potentially shatter any biscuit and could even give a tinned cake a good shake.
I was delighted to receive a courteous reply from a gentleman called Nigel Lewis in the Customer Services Office. Although courteous, his reply failed to impress, and it seemed obvious that they planned to do little to resolve this particular issue. He also claimed that 'in-house technical expertise' would be used for packaging developments and it was 'most unlikely that they would seek NASA's assistance'. In the 20 years since, I have wasted countless Custard Creams and made a great deal of mess due to the broken end biscuits in Custard Cream packs. Are you aware of any other biscuit which suffers quite so badly from damage in transit? If the Company which I used to work for were still in business we could have done a survey.
My biscuit of the moment is Chocolate Malted Milk - yum!
|Nicey replies: The chap at McVities was probably thinking about the outcome of the digital speckle pattern interferometry program at Loughborough University. This high tech technique adapted from the aerospace industry studies of fighter wings, showed that stresses and strains caused by residual baking moisture can lead to spontaneous fracturing of the biscuits in the pack. The end two just break due to the unsupported over hang of the biscuit over the cream and wear and tear, I expect.|
||Dear Wifey and Nicey|
Thank you for an excellent website. Sorry if this has been brought up before, but I still need to know. When you've dunked your favourite biscuit, and presuming the laws of physics allow, is it OK to put the whole thing in your mouth? I can do a Chocolate HobNob at a push and even two well-soaked fig rolls (that was for a bet) - what do other people think. Never on a first date? Should a secret society be formed?
Keep up the good work
|Nicey replies: Of course in the proper social setting it is permissible. The correct social setting for shoving entire biscuits into your gob, just to see if you can, is when you are alone. It should certainly not be attempted in front of anybody who even slightly looks down their nose at you. Of course I would view pre-dunking as cheating, you should be able to do this dry. I certainly used to able to get a whole digestive in as a youth.|
||I am a teacher at a primary school in east London. Next week is science week and Year 5 will be testing the dunkability of biscuits. Do you have any ideas what we could do with our results? |
I hope you can help
|Nicey replies: Publish them in either Nature, The Lancet or Scientific American. It might be a good plan to record the temperature of the tea vs time to breakage.|