Mission Statement
About our book

Buy our book as
Classy Hardback

Cuddly Paperback
Mailing list
Biscuit of the week
Club Milk
Your feedback
Pauline Wilson
Search feedback
The Wife says
Fig Fest
Biscuit quiz
Your Reviews
Missing in action
What the polls said
Giant Bee
Underpant toast
Apocalypse Bunny
Giant Marmots
The Duck
We are hosted by Precedence Technologies Internet Services
In Association with

The polls said

Would you be influenced by Olympians biscuit preferences (7619 Votes)
Yes I would have to eat what they ate (18.81%)
No that would be silly (22.42%)
Only if they ate the ones I liked (26.70%)
If I thought it would help become fitter (11.05%)
They probably don't eat biscuits (21.03%)

Spreadable biscuits (1077 Votes)
It had happen sooner or later (32.87%)
Underlines the importance of biscuits as a food group (10.77%)
My world is now complete (7.61%)
Its an abomination (30.36%)
Coming from Belgium it tastes great but might shorten your life span (18.38%)

Custard Cream now in the OED Dictionary (168 Votes)
About time (15.48%)
I want to work for the OED (9.52%)
Shame on them (7.14%)
Lets put all biscuits in to be on the safe side (54.76%)
What is a Custard Cream? (13.10%)

Business meeting biscuits (369 Votes)
Can make or break the deal (60.16%)
I'm too busy to eat them (7.32%)
Simple fare is best (10.84%)
Must be expensive (9.49%)
I get my PA to check what they are before I attend (12.20%)

Oreos (680 Votes)
I'm British and they are rather nice (35.88%)
I'm British they are not my cup of tea at all (42.65%)
I'm from someplace else and they are Yummy (8.53%)
I'm from someplace else and they are Yuchy (5.44%)
What's an Oreo? (7.50%)

Has the fig roll crisis affected you? (756 Votes)
Crisis what crisis (60.19%)
I'm surviving from day to day (15.08%)
It's a portent of doom I suspect (11.90%)
I don't really care (5.95%)
I was buying them on credit and I can't get any of that either (6.88%)

Should UK airports have a lady with a tea trolley to greet you (1016 Votes)
Definitely (16.34%)
There should be ladies with tea trollies everywhere really (67.22%)
Not required (1.97%)
Could cause issues (3.44%)
Only if she has a decent range of biscuits (11.02%)

Here we go again, teacake cake or biscuit (811 Votes)
Cake (28.48%)
Biscuit (47.10%)
Neither (8.38%)
What about the 3.5 million (7.27%)
I grow weary of this (8.75%)

Harry Roberts thinks that Vienesse Whirls are biscuits (360 Votes)
No Harry it's a cake as made by Mr Kipling (43.61%)
I follow your reasoning Harry but you're still wrong (15.00%)
I'm not sure Harry don't press me on this any further (11.39%)
I'm with you Harry - let the new age of enlightenment commence (30.00%)

Ryvita Biscuit or Not (598 Votes)
Not (82.11%)
I happen to think it is (5.85%)
This third choice does not enable us to have a simple yes no answer (12.04%)

Were we right to have a Jaffa Cake as BOTW (423 Votes)
You clearly had no choice Nicey (38.06%)
Oh yes that's fine (23.17%)
I fear this might be the thin end of the wedge (15.37%)
What were you thinking (10.40%)
I'm struggling to have an opinion at all (13.00%)

Tea as a healthy drink (1057 Votes)
Doesn't really matter to me (15.42%)
Is a nice bonus (61.68%)
Is one reason why I drink it (4.45%)
It's not as healthy as something else I drink a lot of (6.15%)
I'm admitting to not drinking tea (12.30%)

Fruitcake (682 Votes)
When ever possible (22.73%)
Is a dying art (6.60%)
Homemade is best (39.15%)
I don't much care for it (12.02%)
Cake yes, fruit no (19.50%)

Cities that smell of food (1269 Votes)
I've never been to one (27.27%)
Yes I think its a good thing (25.85%)
No it makes me feel it bit ill (13.00%)
Mine smells, but not in a nice way (13.55%)
I'm not at all sure about this poll (20.33%)

The Custard Cream (1334 Votes)
A seminal biscuit with out equal (45.73%)
Elder statesman of the selection tin (16.79%)
Still relevant in the 21st Century (15.14%)
Take them or leave them (8.70%)
No thanks (13.64%)

What yuletide treat should we do a special report on? (814 Votes)
Mince Pies (45.33%)
Lebkuchen (26.78%)
Yule logs (14.62%)
Stollen (13.27%)

Should there be more tea and biscuits in reality TV? (368 Votes)
Yes its gripping (23.37%)
No make them suffer (10.05%)
There should be a whole show devoted to it (50.27%)
They have the balance about right I think (2.45%)
What are you going on about? (13.86%)

Those tube thing packs for HobNobs and Digestives (949 Votes)
Very good idea (16.23%)
Too much packaging (18.65%)
A way of bumping up the price (45.42%)
Give me the ordinary packets please (11.80%)
I don't really care (7.90%)

I would buy Organic biscuits (960 Votes)
If they were a bit cheaper (23.23%)
If I knew they tasted really really good (51.15%)
If I could find them (5.42%)
I already do (9.48%)
Probably never (10.73%)

Little thin frilly little thin dainty biscuits (385 Votes)
Fair enough (18.44%)
Delightful (6.75%)
No give me something hefty (14.29%)
Mybe if they are really tasty (33.77%)
No good will come of it (26.75%)

Is Shortbread representative of UK baking? (874 Votes)
Back off Brussels (12.81%)
No it should be something else (5.61%)
Yes its lovely and we should be proud (14.07%)
I thought it was Scottish (60.07%)
I still don't understand (7.44%)

Jaffa Cake Developments (1379 Votes)
I'm all for innovation (27.12%)
If its not broken don't fix it (15.37%)
They went for the wrong flavours (8.41%)
Actually I don't like Jaffa Cakes (13.49%)
They should just make them bigger that would work for me (35.61%)

Biscuit Cities (1286 Votes)
A terrific idea (50.23%)
A waste of biscuits (33.83%)
Are not what they used to be (9.10%)
Are a good excuse to visit Selfridges (6.84%)

Proper Custard (1406 Votes)
I'm concerned about its future (30.44%)
I haven't had it in years (13.16%)
The basis of a proper pudding (36.63%)
Can't be bothered to make it (8.18%)
I will admit to not liking it (11.59%)

Little packs of biscuits on trains (503 Votes)
Some are very nice actually (52.88%)
Are way to small to be useful (11.73%)
Don't appeal to me (5.57%)
Have some biscuits that I wish I could get in the shops (21.27%)
I bring my own biscuits (8.55%)

Bun defintions (1157 Votes)
Is a small cake in a case, and I'm Northen (25.93%)
Is a small cake in a case, and I'm not Northen (7.69%)
Is a small sweetend bready thing, and I'm Northen (15.13%)
Is a small sweetend bready thing, and I'm not Northen (39.84%)
Is something else and it doesn't matter where I'm from (11.41%)

Should Jammie Dodgers be messed with (404 Votes)
I'm all for innovation (14.85%)
No we fear change (19.31%)
Yes they should put them back to how they were circa 1975 (23.02%)
Only if it's done well (16.09%)
I struggle to have an opinion on this (26.73%)

Fat reduced biscuits (989 Votes)
Are a good idea (18.00%)
Means I can eat more (10.62%)
I'm hooked on the high fat ones (8.39%)
I don't trust them (54.40%)
Who cares (8.59%)

Brandysnaps (617 Votes)
Irresitable (21.72%)
Why only at christmas? (29.34%)
Only in desserts (11.51%)
Not that keen (16.86%)
I'm admitting to never having had one (20.58%)

Best finger (536 Votes)
Cadbury's (69.96%)
Rich tea (11.38%)
Sponge (8.40%)
Something else (10.26%)

How to eat a Jaffa Cake (775 Votes)
Whole (30.84%)
Simple bites (16.26%)
Nibble off edge, then pick apart (38.45%)
Fold till they split open or something (2.84%)
Another way (11.61%)

Prefered electric kettle shape (639 Votes)
Upright Cylinder (49.92%)
Conical (5.63%)
Spherical (or bulbous) (15.81%)
Classic (like our icon) (23.79%)
Some other shape (4.85%)

Are there enough tea spoons? (539 Votes)
Never (46.75%)
I have my own (9.09%)
Not a problem (12.43%)
We use sticks/plastic ones etc (3.34%)
There are but they are all filthy (28.39%)

Prefered drinking vessel (644 Votes)
Cup and saucer (13.35%)
Mug (46.89%)
Big mug (25.62%)
Dainty mug (5.12%)
Something else, jam jar etc (9.01%)

Is the slight slump in tea sales an issue? (778 Votes)
No not really (15.30%)
I'm concerned (10.03%)
They'll be back (12.98%)
I blame the French / Americans / Govenment / etc (47.17%)
I've got a fall-out bunker and enough supplies to last five years (14.52%)

Spread it on biscuits, Rich Teas Maries etc (440 Votes)
Butter (16.36%)
Jam (3.18%)
Nutella (15.00%)
Honey (17.27%)
No don't do it (48.18%)

Doughnuts (659 Votes)
Occaisonally (40.21%)
No thanks (9.71%)
Should know their place (14.26%)
Should be widely availble in lots of different types actually (22.76%)
Must have holes in them (13.05%)

Drinking tea by the pint (387 Votes)
Is a good plan (41.34%)
Sounds dreadful (6.72%)
Would go cold and nasty (26.36%)
Indicates a deeper problem (8.27%)
Is fine but not for me (17.31%)

The subject of toast (397 Votes)
Has been woefully overlooked (66.50%)
Has been afforded enough coverage (3.53%)
Belongs elsewhere (18.39%)
Is not something I wish to vote on (11.59%)

I buy fairtrade biscuits (489 Votes)
More often than not (12.27%)
If I think they are priced right (2.86%)
If they look very nice (13.29%)
Occaisonaly (17.79%)
Actually I haven't (53.78%)

Mug handle design (571 Votes)
Rarely a problem (31.35%)
Causes issues (23.12%)
As long as they are big (35.90%)
I like dainty ones (5.08%)
I don't drink from mugs (4.55%)

Which way up is a Chocolate biscuit? (582 Votes)
Choc side up (86.08%)
Biscuit side is up (8.25%)
It's not important (5.67%)

Does the snowy weather affect your tea drinking? (653 Votes)
Yes I drink more (57.43%)
Not that I'd noticed (18.22%)
Bizzarely I'm drinking less (4.75%)
I don't drink it anyway (13.02%)
I drink another sort of tea (it could happen) (6.58%)

Bourbon shortage? (497 Votes)
What shortage (57.14%)
Yes I'd noticed that (11.07%)
I've got a stockpile (5.43%)
Doesn't concern me (12.47%)
Just turn around sonny and keep walking back the way you came there ain't nothing here for you (13.88%)

Airline tea (272 Votes)
A life saver in a tight spot (25.37%)
The cups are too small (17.65%)
Is too weak (2.57%)
Passes the time (7.72%)
Could be made from anything really (46.69%)

Decaffeinated Tea? (452 Votes)
An important development (17.92%)
It might be handy at some point (16.37%)
Tried it didn't like it (6.19%)
Shouldn't be allowed (59.51%)

Teabag squeezing (427 Votes)
Is the secret of a good cuppa (61.36%)
Doesn't bother me (14.29%)
Isn't necessary (9.84%)
Is utterly wrong (14.52%)

Biscuits and the New Year (488 Votes)
Business as usual (50.41%)
I've given them up (6.15%)
Allegedly I'm on a diet (19.88%)
I'm buying up all the cut price Christmas biscuits (9.84%)
Got to finish last years biscuits first (13.73%)

Favourite seasonal tea time accompaniment (635 Votes)
Mince pie (43.62%)
Christmas cake (14.80%)
Yule log (17.48%)
Stollen (16.22%)
Brandy snap (7.87%)

Has the Coconut ring taken over from the Pink Wafer in a Rover Tin? (359 Votes)
I don't know what you mean (17.27%)
Yes it has (12.81%)
Stop picking on coconut biscuits (18.11%)
I like both of them (6.96%)
I miss the pink wafers (44.85%)

The best milk for tea (389 Votes)
Any will do (5.91%)
Full cream (11.05%)
Semi skimmed (61.44%)
Skimmed (11.31%)
None (10.28%)

New low salt Jammie Dodgers (188 Votes)
I prefer them (10.64%)
I can't tell the difference (10.11%)
I noticed but didn't mind (4.79%)
Bring back the old ones (32.45%)
I didn't like them anyway (42.02%)

I've tried the new Wagonwheels (200 Votes)
They are very nice actually (37.50%)
Still as wagonwheely (5.00%)
No they are wrong (12.00%)
Still not keen (12.50%)
I'm still hung up on the size thing (33.00%)

Tins of danish butter biscuits (405 Votes)
Are lovely at Christmas (48.40%)
Are dull and boring (13.09%)
Are a perfect present (3.70%)
Are palmed off on somebody else (22.47%)
Aren't very nice (12.35%)

Oatcakes are (630 Votes)
Biscuits (24.60%)
Cakes (3.02%)
Crackers (20.00%)
Their own thing (39.68%)
Unknown to me (12.70%)

Your views on Eccles cakes are? (569 Votes)
Very nice, yum (45.34%)
I'd have one if it was going (23.37%)
Not keen (9.49%)
Definately not (7.56%)
Eccles what? (14.24%)

Are you happy with your kettle? (703 Votes)
Yes it's lovely (37.98%)
Mostly (25.04%)
The thought never really crossed my mind (14.22%)
No it's annoying (11.66%)
It's not as good as our old one (11.10%)

How important is caffine in your life? (482 Votes)
Not at all (24.07%)
Mildly (18.88%)
Fairly (12.24%)
Very (10.37%)
Vital (34.44%)

I drink herbal tea (391 Votes)
All the time (9.21%)
Now and again (28.64%)
Not if I can help it (10.49%)
When hell freezes over (51.66%)

Do you make your own biscuits? (327 Votes)
Often (12.84%)
Occaisonally (36.09%)
Once I did (27.52%)
Never (13.46%)
I didn't know you could (10.09%)

Definative Malted Milk picture (562 Votes)
Big cow Little Cow (80.43%)
Milk churns, Cow (4.63%)
Cow, gate (1.96%)
I don't have a point of view about this (12.99%)

What entices you to try a new biscuit (198 Votes)
Its name (12.63%)
The picture on the pack (68.18%)
The manufacturer (2.53%)
A recommendation (15.15%)
The price (1.52%)

Do you take your own teabags on holiday? (378 Votes)
Always (33.86%)
Sometimes (34.13%)
Never (20.63%)
I don't use teabags (11.38%)

Best Club biscuit (880 Votes)
Milk (22.61%)
Orange (29.43%)
Fruit (28.98%)
Mint (17.27%)
Wafer (1.70%)

Jammie Dodgers and Marmite (502 Votes)
I like both (43.23%)
I like only Jammie Dodgers (31.67%)
I like only Marmite (14.54%)
I like niether (4.38%)
I have actually tried Jammie Dodgers with Marmite (6.18%)

Iced tea (536 Votes)
Never had it (17.35%)
I like it (29.66%)
I have to be in the mood (13.43%)
Don't like it (6.34%)
Is a crime against humanity (33.21%)

Does the hot weather affect your tea drinking? (247 Votes)
I drink more tea (20.65%)
I drink less tea (36.84%)
I drink different tea (6.88%)
I've not noticed (27.13%)
Yes but in a way you've not mentioned (8.50%)

Crumpets should be topped with (585 Votes)
Butter (49.57%)
Butter and sweet stuff like jam etc (23.25%)
Cheese (8.72%)
Butter and savory like cheese, marmite etc (13.68%)
Yes, yes, but not butter (4.79%)

Glace Cherries (418 Votes)
A force for good (24.16%)
Are no good (12.68%)
Alright if in bits (7.66%)
I fear them (32.30%)
I eat them from their little pot if I can (23.21%)

Fairy cakes should be topped with (411 Votes)
Buttercream and bits of the cake top (57.42%)
White Icing glace cherry (12.41%)
Pink Icing glace cherry (6.08%)
Icing and hudreds and thousands (18.00%)
Jam and cream and cake bits (6.08%)

Ok, which of these other things is best on toast (311 Votes)
Sugar (4.82%)
Baked Beans (47.27%)
Honey (29.58%)
Sardines (12.54%)
Dripping (5.79%)

Best savoury topping for toast (249 Votes)
Cheese (43.37%)
Peanut butter (9.24%)
Marmite (36.55%)
Bovril (2.41%)
Something else (8.43%)

Best sweet topping for toast (319 Votes)
Jam (31.66%)
Marmalade (34.17%)
Lemon Curd (11.29%)
Chocolate spread (10.34%)
Something else (12.54%)

Pregnent ladies, did you go off (108 Votes)
Tea (36.11%)
Coffee (28.70%)
Both (12.96%)
Niether (22.22%)

Best way to eat hot cross buns (406 Votes)
Straight (14.04%)
Cold with butter (14.29%)
Cold with butter and jam (1.23%)
Toasted with butter etc (61.33%)
No thanks (9.11%)

Are pies and tarts the same thing? (476 Votes)
Yes, interchangable (7.77%)
No pies have lids, tarts don't (73.95%)
Pies are savoury tarts are sweet (10.08%)
It depends how big they are (2.52%)
It's some other reason (5.67%)

Kimberleys (285 Votes)
I'm Irish and I love them (20.00%)
I'm Irish and I don't like them (4.21%)
I'm not Irish and I like them (5.96%)
I'm not Irish and I don't like them (9.12%)
What? (60.70%)

How long do you leave the tea bag to brew in a mug. (384 Votes)
five seconds (10.42%)
ten seconds (15.89%)
thirty seconds (36.46%)
a minute or more (32.29%)
I don't take it out (4.95%)

Which activity most depletes the body's tea reserves? (196 Votes)
Sleeping (13.27%)
Shopping (49.49%)
Working (23.47%)
Gardening (2.55%)
Nice walks (11.22%)

How much milk in those little individual pots? (256 Votes)
Enough for one cup (19.14%)
I need two (25.78%)
Sort of one and a bit does it for me (32.42%)
More than two (6.25%)
Its vile I go without (16.41%)

Best Tarts (342 Votes)
Jam (22.22%)
Lemon curd (17.84%)
Treacle (17.54%)
Egg Custard (34.80%)
Apple (7.60%)

How many biscuits with a cuppa on average? (354 Votes)
1 - 2 (41.53%)
3 - 4 (34.75%)
5 - 6 (7.06%)
Stopped counting (7.63%)
None (9.04%)

Biscuits at work meetings (190 Votes)
Usually (39.47%)
Unlikely (10.00%)
Never (15.26%)
Bring your own (8.95%)
External clients only (26.32%)

Using tea bags (280 Votes)
Is wonderful (53.93%)
Does the job (32.50%)
Not very good (1.79%)
Loose tea is the only way (11.79%)

Lapsang souchong (389 Votes)
Mmm lovely (29.31%)
Never had it (17.48%)
Occasionally (9.77%)
Yuck (9.77%)
Words can't describe how nasty it is (33.68%)

When to Dunk? (353 Votes)
Never (14.16%)
Only suitable biscuits (52.69%)
In private (7.37%)
Occaisonally (6.80%)
Anything anytime any place (18.98%)

Best HobNob? (244 Votes)
Original (18.85%)
Milk Chocolate (28.69%)
Plain Chocolate (28.69%)
Don't like them (8.61%)
Bring back Abbey Crunch (15.16%)

Tea made in the mug (314 Votes)
Bag, water, bag out, milk (63.06%)
Bag, water, milk, bag out (16.56%)
Bag, milk, water, bag out (7.32%)
Bag, water, bag out, no milk (4.78%)
Some other way (8.28%)

Tea from the pot (176 Votes)
Milk in first (55.68%)
Milk in last (26.70%)
No milk (7.39%)
Lemon (2.27%)
It depends.. (7.95%)

Earl Grey (347 Votes)
Mmm, Make it so (39.77%)
Vile (31.12%)
Have to be in the mood (22.77%)
Never had it (6.34%)

KitKat (174 Votes)
Biscuit (27.01%)
Chocolate bar (62.07%)
Both (10.92%)

Pink Wafers (429 Votes)
Love them (42.66%)
Hate them (24.94%)
I have to be in the mood (31.70%)
Never had them (0.70%)

What's the best Rich Tea? (310 Votes)
Round (53.55%)
Finger (13.55%)
Thick Teas (4.52%)
Choc covered (16.77%)
No thanks (11.61%)

Best way to eat a bourbon? (288 Votes)
Just take bites (30.90%)
Break apart to eat filling then biscuits (31.94%)
Must be dunked (19.44%)
I Don't like them (12.85%)
None of the above (4.86%)

What is the acceptable shortened form of "Biscuit"? (235 Votes)
Biccy (49.79%)
Bicky (7.23%)
Bickey (0.85%)
Don't shorten it (20.00%)
Biccie (22.13%)

Which way up in the scone? (199 Votes)
Jam then Cream (72.36%)
Cream then Jam (27.64%)