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Personally, I've never been a fan of the Lincoln. A bit bland for my tastes. Yet I've often wondered why I have such an aversion to the dotty one.
Only yesterday I was talking to my sister about them and she revealed a dark secret that may well account for my dislike. When we were kids, the family used to travel every year to the west country for our summer holidays. En route we'd stopover at our aunties, as you do. Unfortunately, I’ve now discovered that my sister told auntie on the quiet that she loved Lincoln biscuits. As a result, for the next decade or more, we always arrived to a biscuit tin heaving with Lincoln's and absolutely nothing else. What kind of biccie tin is that?! There wasn't even a rogue Rich Tea lurking at the bottom – although that would have been much consolation.
I am now mentally scarred and wonder if any other people have stories about how biscuits have been the cause of family rifts.
|Hullo Nicey, I have only recently read your cuddly paperback book, which I think is an oasis of wonderfulness in an otherwise batty world, and came to page 66 and did indeed worry for a minute and a half about a snappy name for the measurement to denote the amount of biscuit production measured in years, months and days to reach the moon when the biscuits are laid end to end. As I have come to your book so late on, I trawled your lovely website for previous answers to this dilemma, and couldn't find anything about it, so humbly I offer my solution, the BALETE. I was going to do a clever anagram of the whole sentence, but on reaching the end,' Biscuits Are Laid End To End', it jumped out at me and I just felt I should send it to you just as it is. |
My memory was deeply jangled by the picture and blurb about the Lincoln biccy - my Mum used to bring us a cup of tea first thing, in bed, and ALWAYS the biscuit in the saucer was a Lincoln. I haven't bought them for years - Aldi do scrumptious biscuits and you can fool people that they are homemade....
Warmest wishes, Lizzie Scammell
|Nicey replies: Hullo Lizzie Scammell,
You are as far as I'm aware the first person to actually give this matter some/any consideration so well done. It's certainly a good go at a new SI unit for biscuit to moon type measurements. Most SI units seemed to named after pioneers in the field such as the volt or watt, so maybe it should be the tunnock or some thing.
As for Lincoln biscuits, biscuit enthusiast Mandy (Mrs B) says that her mum used to bring her a cup of tea in bed with a Lincoln when she was growing up too. So perhaps you two are dopplegangers
Your report on the Holiday Inn survey gives support to your eminently useful suggestion in your NCOTAASD book that hotel guide books should introduce a symbol (to go alongside the ones denoting swimming pool, dog sitting, cable tv etc) to denote the type of biscuit that they provide along with the miniature kettle and sachet of Nescafe. Clearly business men and women are heavily influenced by biscuits and your idea could spark a revolution in the hospitality industry.
Have you patented the idea?
With very best wishes
|Nicey replies: I used to work with online hotel booking systems where the hoteliers had to fill in all the features and benefits of their accommodation. I did manage to get the company to let me put in a tick box for biscuits in the room although obviously I was pitching for a full breakdown of exactly what types and quality quantity etc. As far as I know only one hotel every ticked the box.
I still think a little plastic facsimile of the in-room biscuits on their sign next to the stars, diamonds, crowns or whatever would be good.
I would appreciate your assistance in settling this issue that has rumbled on for some time with my work colleagues. I would classify Cheddars as a biscuit, however work colleagues who view themselves as experts in this field seem to strongly disagree. The only other category that Cheddars could fall into is the cracker category but this feels all wrong to me. I note that comments on your website suggest that you can spot a biscuit if it can be dunked in tea, of course this would be inappropriate in respect of a Cheddar but I don't think categorisation in this case should hinge on this. Personally when talking about Cheddars, I think it reasonable to refer to them as "Cheddar biscuits" but would seek your views in order to settle the issue once and for all. What category do cheddars fall into?
|Nicey replies: Phil,
Thanks for getting us back on to a sensible topic. My personal call would to class the Cheddar as a savoury cracker, and not a biscuit. Given that its a savoury rather than a sweet product I feel happy with that. Also Cheddars would need some form of quarantine from other biscuits if placed in the same biscuit tin confinement to their packet. Other wise you might end up with cheesy custard creams or some other embarrassing problem.
Having said that a school friend of mine went through quite a big Cheddars phase where he would have a fig roll followed by 2 or 3 cheddar chasers. The two went together very well probably a bit like having fruit with your cheese board. So I would acknowledge the Cheddars ability to mix convivially with biscuits, perhaps more than any other cracker. I'm sure it could always hang about with those Hovis Digestives if it were feeling a bit left out, as they both share an interest in cheese.
Thin Arrowroot Review
I must say that your criticism of the thin arrowroot biscuit is a little unfair. Have you no memories of this fine example of tea companionship being a staple in Grandma's pantry?
Since Asda in their wisdom have stopped stocking them, I have endeavoured to make my own-quite successfully if I may say so. It is a very simple and easy recipe-I suggest you try it for yourself, there are many recipes online including Mrs Beeton's which are a bit too rich for me.
Cheers Stephen McChrystal. What a truly great website you have-a masterpiece of serious frivolity.
|Nicey replies: I stand by every word of it and my Granny had Abbey Crunch in her pantry.|