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||Good morning Mr Nicey|
I've had a fantastic marketing idea for convenience food. It came to me in a dream last night. Imagine a pack with two strips of biscuit dough, each mixed with a different chemical (some research will be necessary on the details, but what is the lottery fund for if not to aid such important endeavours?). The two strips are mixed, kneaded together, rolled and cut into jaunty shapes and put on a tray.
This is where the clever bit happens. The two chemicals, having been mixed, start a reaction, the heat of which cooks the biscuits.
I cannot see any way in which this could possibly go wrong.
|Nicey replies: Yes it sounds absolutely safe, no problems there. Very similar process to mixing up Araldite only with out using a match and an old jam jar lid. I've always thought that a keen interest in Araldite was a good indicator of the onset of middle age. Think of us when you have made your first 2.2 million pounds (1 million goes nowhere nowadays apparently).|
||Hello Nicey and Wifey,|
Am watching a "Biography" program on television here in Canada about the Rolling Stones. Was intrigued to learn that one of Mick Jagger's first audiences was a local friend, whose mum and sister "used to bring out Jaffa cakes and tea while Mick was singing in our house. She did love Mick's singing."
So. Was it tea and Jaffa cakes that in truth launched the Rolling Stones? We may never know. But they played an, erm, instrumental part, it seems...
Almonte, Ontario, CANADA
|Nicey replies: Actually it would be more shocking if Mick Jagger didn't like Jaffa cakes, and before we lower the tone of the whole site we should probably leave it at that.|
Jam Sandwich Creams Review
|Without wanting to re-ignite the Jaffa Cake/Buscuit debate, I was grazing through my confection cupboard the other day and randomly selected three items to nibble on with a nice cup of tea.|
I switched on the telly, had a quick slurp of tea and proceeded to pick up one of my nibbles.
It was with much amusement that I realised that all three items I had selected, whilst being entirely different products, were all based on the same basic fillings, to wit, raspberry jam and butter cream.
The items i had chosen were (in no particular order),
Fox's Jammy Dodger
Mr Kiplings Viennese Whirl
Morrisons Brand Butterfly Cake
This set me thinking. The Jammy Dodger is definately a buscuit and the Butterfly Cake is certainly a cake, but there seems to be a grey area, a sort of transition zone, in which the Viennese Whirl sits, being a sort of hybrid Buscuit come Cake.
After a period of reflection I related this to my wife, Tracy, who informed me that the Viennese Whirl was neither cake nor buscuit but a pastry and that I was stupid.
Does anyone have any comments on the above?
|Nicey replies: Right a great deal to get through here. First off that's a Jam Cream Sandwich which Fox's are building there, a Jammie Dodger is not only different not having cream, but is a built solely by Burtons. Its a bit like calling your Dyson Vacuum cleaner a Hoover. Sorry for the pedantic bit there but I would be remiss if I didn't wade in.
Any how the Mr Kipling Viennese whirl is avery undervalued thing, and in a great many European countries would get away with calling itself what ever it fancied. Cake or biscuit they wouldn't really care. However in the UK it would have to be a cake, and not just beacuse as we all know, Mr Kipling makes exceedingly good ones, and he made these, but also because I don't think it can be classed as a pastry as it has raising in it. If it was a pastry I would probably just join a circle straight to cakes in the mighty NCOTAASD Venn Diagram of such things which is always open for a bit of a fiddling with.
||...in my new book, The Handbook of Organic and Fair Trade Food Marketing (published on February 19th)|
I just thought Iíd stick it in the recommended websites appendix and see if anyone noticed. They didnít, so you are in.
The book is a £100 academic textbook in how to market organic and Fairtrade foods, more info at blackwellpublishing
Keep up the good work !
All the best
|Nicey replies: Simon,
Hoorah for academia and thank you for the mention! I was pleased to see that our book which is in Cambridge University Library warranted the creation of three of its own catalogue categories 'Tea -Great Britain - Humour', 'Afternoon Tea -Great Britain - Humour' and rather worryingly 'Cookies - Great Britain - Humour'. I assume that the Librarian involved must be American.
Mind you Wifey informs me that apparently Trinny and Suzanna mention us in the back of their latest book so you are in good company.
I was driving back home from Chester to Bristol on business yesterday. As with a lot of A roads there were quite a few roadside parking areas some of which contained the usual bacon buttie van. However, as I passed one such lay by I was amazed to see a van parked up selling solely biscuits. What a great idea. He was missing a trick though as he was not selling tea to accompany the biscuits and there were no seats to be found. I'm sure he's working on this to provide a more complete roadside service.
|Nicey replies: Hello Jim,
How charming. I'm guessing from your description that would have been some kind of enchanted van, possibly with pixies (good or evil) knocking out the biscuits behind the scenes. Did the purveyor have a brightly coloured hat or suit and strange moustache, and a name along the lines of Dr Munchbiccie? Perhaps it was all part of a scheme to abduct IT professionals who have strayed too far from their offices and take them back to his magic castle. It would most likely be somewhere on the M4 corridor. There he'll enslave them in forced labour toiling to program some enormous back office system to administer afore mentioned magic castle using some evil technology platform (fill in your preferred evil technology - I'll take ASP thank you).
Did you spot a very large net?
Did the van play sinister yet spell binding ice-cream van music?
So many questions - don't suppose you got a photo.