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|Fuhr David (Mr D)
Glad to see the site is still going from strength to strength. There was a bijou featurette in the London Metro which was very complimentary.
I recently experienced a new hybrid creation, which is well worth exploring. The "After Eight" biscuit. The item itself resembles a small After Eight chocolate, but the chocolate covering is concealing not the expected minty goo, but a very crunchy, very minty biscuit. Extremely satisfying, and maintains an impressive degree of structural integrity when dunked. Admittedly, it is usually the case that chocolate/biscuit hybrids such as this resemble something straight from the laboratory of Dr Moreau. But this is the exception proving the rule.
Also: whither the "Mikado" biscuit? For those not aware, the Mikado was a long (6" approx) thin stick of unsweetened biscuit (of similar diameter to a strand of raw spaghetti). Seven-eighths of the length was dipped in dark chocolate, thus creating a juxtaposition between, and a synergy of, flavours. The un-dipped section provided a useful handle for dunking purposes. It was almost, if I may be permitted to enter the stratosphere of pretension, a gestalt biscuit. It was also available in a variety where the chocolate was orangey (but this detroyed the essential purity). But WHERE HAS IT GONE? No longer available in Waitrose, I now worry that it may have ceased production, and gone to that great biscuit barrel in the sky. Any knowledge of the current whereabouts of the Mikado biscuit gratefully received.
[Note: the "Mr D" is my e-mail is not a display of personal arrogance, but is down to the configuration of this computer system].
||I note with great regret the sheer ignorance of some biscuit reviewers. Technology has, for many years, been applied to biscuit development and the Wagon Wheel was the initial giant leap. I have concerned myself for many years with biscuit technology and it is my company that is responsible for the Wagon Wheel coating. Biscuit Technology plc (or BT) is a hugely advanced operation and you may have seen our grey vans around.|
Our main laboratory (situated in Rhyl) developed, after research spanning 128 years, a method of electroplating biscuits with a chocolate compound. The compound is simply chocolate mixed with particles of lead ethersulphate de-oxyphospherhydroplasma. When the 'Wheel is dipped in the solution and a current passed through it, the electrons in the chocolate become warmer and are attracted to stale produce. The result is 'chocolate plating' and the other chemicals are lost (mostly) in the process.
We were approached by the Product Development Steering Committee from Burton's with a view to developing a high-performance waterproof biscuit covering. Our brief consisted only of the fact it must be brown, chocolatish and be able to deflect heat, infra-red light and water. Initial tests were performed off-site at a secret military base in Tahiti where casualties would be lower than one would expect when testing such a biscuit finish.
Obviously we cannot divulge the exact nature of the tests as they fall within the official secrets act but it is safe to say that casualties were minimised and only a handful suffered side effects from consuming the wrapper aswell. We are committed to developing high-performance, high-quality advanced biscuit finishes and it is such a shame that there is a blissful ignorance of our nationally important research and development. In the furtherance of biscuit technology even Microsoft can't touch us lot.
Watch out for the vanadium-plated cybergestive coming soon and the new range of anodised custard chromes. Also available at the end of the century will be touch-sensitive software- driven bourbots that are so small they are invisible to the human eye.
|Nicey replies: I was not aware of that.|
I was in my local Spar yesterday and came across a new biscuit, namely Rolo Biscuits. Now, I like rolos and I love biscuits so they seemed the ideal purchase. They consisted of a round 100% chocolate covered shape of about 2 inches diameter and 1/2 an inch high. After making some tea and assuming a sitting position I took my first bite. The innards were of approximately 90% caramel and there were about 4 randomnly positioned spheres of (poor quality) biscuit each about 1/4 inch diameter. Surely this cannot constitute the naming "biscuit". I was most disappointed and finished my sit down feeling cheated and mislead as opposed to relaxed and refreshed (the normal post tea and sit down state). Perhaps you could investigate further and maybe professionally review this scandalous biscuit branding. To top it off they're 89p for 5! Luckily the 5 delicious McVities Fruit Shortcakes I have consumed this morning have redressed my biscuit equilibrium and put me in a better mood.
|Nicey replies: Yes another example of brand tinkering and cross product category meddling. Unfortunately as in the case of mini-Hob Nobs its purely a means of parting you from more dosh for less product. I have to say that I find these sort of products very cynical.|
Jacob's Orange Club Review
I will start by saying that your website is the best I have come across for being amusing and entertaining, but at the same time informative and current.
I would just like to share with you that I once had a solid chocolate fruit club biscuit. Unfortunately I didn't have the forward thinking to take a photo - sorry. I know that you will doubt my discovery due to the lack of visible evidence, but that's something I'll have to live with. All I can say is that it was such an event for me that it has remained in my memory for the past nine years (and that's no mean feat, I can tell you).
Keep up the good website work!
Leila Pullen, Slough (home of The Office).
|Nicey replies: Hoorah, what a marvelous tale of solid chocolate biscuits, we can only imagine the charged emotions which must have overtaken you on such a momentous occasion. That would have also been long ago enough for it to be a proper Club biscuit not one of today's sad ones.|
Tunnocks Wafer Review
|Coming from the States, the whole concept of biscuits, cakes, crackers, etc. are all confused for me. In fact, I would guess that your delineations here on your site may not apply as poignantly across the pond.|
However, although I still struggle to understand the concept of tea cakes and many persons' of English persuasion interpretation of them, I am pleasantly intrigued by the all-encompassing Tunnocks bars, also affectionately known as Caramel bars or Army issue bars. As often I purchase them, I still confuse myself whether they are in the confectionery or biscuit section of the supermarket. I may even venture to say that supermarkets vary in their classification.
|Nicey replies: The clue is the name 'Tunnock's real milk chocolate caramel wafer biscuit'. It should be grouped with other chocolate covered biscuits next to the conventional biscuits.|