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||Dear Nicey and the Wife,|
In order to liven up the atmosphere in the office today, we have come up with the new game (to us anyway) of "Biscuit Chicken".
Each contestant is armed with a cup of tea and a biscuit. On the count of three, all contestants dunk the biscuit into the tea. At least half the biscuit must be submerged. The last contestant to remove their biscuit from the tea intact is the winner. Any contestant who's biscuit breaks before reaching their mouth is disqualified.
A variation of the game is "Biscuit Roulette". In this game, several different varieties of biscuit are used. Biscuits are lined up in a random order and each contestant in turn will roll a dice to select their biscuit (a 1 gets you the first biscuit in the row, a 2 the second and so on). A "spin the bottle" approach to biscuit selection is also acceptable. Once the biscuit has been selected, the first contestant will dunk it into their tea for as long as they dare, the duration will be timed with a stopwatch. Each contestant must dunk their biscuit for a longer time than the previous contestant. If the biscuit breaks on removal from the tea, the contestant is disqualified.
Does anyone out there have any other ideas for games involving biscuits?
|Nicey replies: Very nice Mr O'Kane. I did have some very dull suggestions for biscuit games sent to me a while back, but this all sounds much more plausible.
||Dear Wifey and Nicey|
Thank you for an excellent website. Sorry if this has been brought up before, but I still need to know. When you've dunked your favourite biscuit, and presuming the laws of physics allow, is it OK to put the whole thing in your mouth? I can do a Chocolate HobNob at a push and even two well-soaked fig rolls (that was for a bet) - what do other people think. Never on a first date? Should a secret society be formed?
Keep up the good work
|Nicey replies: Of course in the proper social setting it is permissible. The correct social setting for shoving entire biscuits into your gob, just to see if you can, is when you are alone. It should certainly not be attempted in front of anybody who even slightly looks down their nose at you. Of course I would view pre-dunking as cheating, you should be able to do this dry. I certainly used to able to get a whole digestive in as a youth.|
||Just thought I'd offer some feedback about causing a stir with a personal mug I used to use.|
It was at a previous company, where the unspoken policy was that anyone making a round of teas had to wash up ALL the mugs before brewing up.
Now, I (being somewhat busy most of the time and rather extremist in my right-wing, goose-stepping views) stood up like Mussolini, gesticulating wildly and tried to implement a policy of "if we have our own mugs, we can each be responsible for them.. blah blah blah." Surprisingly to me, no-one responded to my elitest suggestion.
However, wishing to set the example, I persisted in my regime and one day was unfortunate enough to find myself in close proximity at the sink to a certain colleague (female by nature) who was enjoying a rather 'sensitive' moment of the month whilst washing up. Wishing to expand the borders of my personal-mug-usage empire, I engaged the fair maiden in a discourse about individual mug usage. I'm pretty certain that the turning point came when I made a rather blase comment that other people using my mug was (to me) tantamount to 'raping my mug'.
Suffice to say, my imperialist 'Tea Reich' came was reduced to a smouldering wreck on the highway of history by a very soapy dishcloth, slapped with socialist vehemence in my face.
Despite having now changed companies several times, I continue to remain happy to enjoy my morning cuppa served in the 'people's cup'.
|Nicey replies: Steve,
Yes I too have worked at places where the policy was for people to take turns in washing up all the mugs. Mostly this resulted in the 'busiest' most 'too important' people not washing up mugs ever, whilst everybody else who appreciated a cuppa from a clean mug was forced to wash up the collective mugs. This created many unpleasant scenes not least the shirkers scratching around for anything at all clean that they could use at 3:30 on Friday afternoon to drink tea from. You could always spot these people as they would happily drink tea from a vase, or plastic bag if it meant they didn't have to wash it up.
Have just converted to shopping at Morrisons. Nice and cheap and a large biscuit selection. One of the main bonuses is that they always have loads of buy one get one free offers all around the store. The downside is that these shelves are normally empty or close to empty unless you're lucky with your timing. Not last night however, when I spotted a shelf dedicated to giving you double the value in pink wafers. It was rammed, fit to burst with the nasty things. The nation has spoken.
||Dear Nicey and the good lady Wife,|
To say that I enjoy a nice cup of tea and a sit down certainly would be an understatement. In fact, I can in all honestey say that a sizable proportion of my working day is not only spent sitting down and drinking tea but also thinking about the lovely cup of tea and sit down that I'm going to have when I get home.
Unfortunately, however, my girlfreind, as is often the case, is not as well groomed in her tea drinking habits as I and frequently commits the almost unforgivable crime of failing to finish her cuppa. Which brings me to the point of this communique...
Last night, as we were both enjoying The Glimmer Man starring Steven Seagal, the cat, who is not averse to a bit of mishief, hopped up onto the coffee table and started lapping at her unfinished cuppa. Jeannette moved to chastise her but I intervened, pointing out what an incredibly well cultured cat we must have and how she should be encouraged to drink tea. And then, if that was not impressive enough, the dog, who's behaviour is readily influenced by that of the cat, then followed suit and finished off what was left. Fantastic!
From this day forth the cat shall always be welcome to hop up onto the table and share a cuppa with me - but not the dog, because she frequently visits the cat's litter tray and eats her poo.
I wonder if any of your other readers out there have any tea loving pets.
|Nicey replies: Well I can understand your pride in your cat's taste for tea, and of course dogs as you so rightly point out will of course eat virtually anything. I always think those Mr Dog pet food commercials are funny when the woman in the evening dress tempts her small white scotty dog with a plate of Mediterranean herb flavoured dog food (or something like that) with a small red rose on one side. I'm sure like most dogs it would be just as keen to get its teeth into the crust from the top of a cow pat.
Anyhow enough of this unsavory topic. I think the main concern is if you have to start making the cat a cup of tea as-well it could become a bit of a chore.