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Your e-Mails

Michelle Simkins	Dear  Nicey, Wifey,  and Junior members of staff,  I read your website and newsletter with great delight from my cubicle in the primitive reaches of the Northwestern United States, generally whilst enjoying my afternoon cup of tea (perhaps the sit down bit  is redundant, as my job is very sit-downy, but the tea is a welcome distraction, even more so if accompanied by biscuits).  (Please allow me to apologize in advance for my tendency to wax verbose.  I chalk it up to too much Dickens in college.) In any case, I nearly lost control of my sip of tea when I read Sam Bushnell's letter on the apparent correlation between a freshly brewed cup of tea and an exuberant exhibition of gymnastics by junior members of staff.  I, too, have noticed this phenomenon, but feel it necessary at this point to add that it is not exclusive to children.  A hot cup of tea also seems to inspire a fit of unwonted affection in housecats.  It never fails; the moment I settle comfortably into the sofa with a fresh cuppa, my lazy and otherwise apathetic Siamese cat is inevitably stricken with a wave of affection which he must immediately express by leaping on to my lap and rubbing his great whiskery face on my cup, and butting his nose against the hand holding said cup.  (It also appears that books, magazines, and newspapers all exude an odor of catnip; or at least, this is the only explanation I can imagine for my cat's propensity to spread his substantial girth over the pages of anything I'm trying to read, but this perhaps ought to be reserved for another e-mail to a website about the feline anti-human literacy campaign.)  In any case, I love the website, and keep searching for yummy English biscuits (thus far to no avail). Speaking of biscuits, I must say that in theory I agree whole heartedly with your estimation of the Oreo, but due to excessive exposure at a tender age, I still find myself salivating at the sight of the little buggers.  They should not, however, be allowed anywhere near a decent cup of tea.  Milk is the only proper  accompaniment, or possibly coffee.   (Yes, I drink coffee too . . . I AM American, and therefore can't help it.)  Finally, I must express my distress over the ubiquitousness of Lipton "tea".  It is, unfortunately, the only actual "tea" offered by my employer, although they provide a great variety of herbal pseudo-teas from a would-be respectable local "tea" distributor.  Needless to say, I pack in my own Twinings, hoarding the treasure in my desk and carrying individual bags with my mug in to the break room for hot water.  On optimistic days I can at least tell myself that even Lipton is superior to the dreaded beverage vending machine.  On dark days--for example, when I've run out of Twinings and am nearly desperate enough to actually partake of Lipton tea--I consider quitting. Anyway, three cheers for NCOTAASD!   Keep up the good work. Yours, Michelle Simkins Portland, Oregon, U.S.A.
	Nicey replies: Yes my old black cat Brian used to head straight for an open newspaper then somehow expand his whole body to cover all the bits you wanted to read. So I just stopped reading the papers. He never spilt my tea though.
Darryl Snow Abbey Crunch Review	During the dark ages (the few months, around this time last year, following McVities' misguided discontinuation of the abbey crunch), as the remaining abbey crunch stocks rapidly depleted accross the country, I scurried all over Manchester to purchase as many remaining packets as possible. Well it's been a thoroughly enjoyable albeit emotional year as I have been eating my little treasures. I now have 4 packets left and I am faced with the dilemma of how to store them in order to maximise their lifespan. I have so far kept them cellophane-wrapped, foil-wrapped, and bubblewrap-wrapped and in a cool, dark, dry place, protected by a tripple-bolt combination lock (so no one get any ideas!). My plan is to eat the remaining packets as my last meal, before I'm about to die... assuming you still get the munchies while you're dying. The thing is... I don't plan on dying anytime soon... so I need to keep my precious fresh for as long as possible. Someone told me the other day that my precautions may not be adequate. What would you suggest. Please help. Love the site, by the way. Daz.
	Nicey replies: Daz, I don't know, I'm down to my last packet. I had to open one in the summer for photography for the book and they were well past it, and only three months out of date. May cryogenics is the answer, for you not the biscuits. They could thaw you out if McVities resurrect the Abbey crunch and medical science work out a cure for for whatever took you out.
Marilyn Audsley	Dear Nicey, I would like to reassure Mark Pennington about drinking tea in the USA. I have quite a lot of male English friends out here who drink tea, and none of them are 'special chaps'. It seems that this is acceptable to the American public because they are British. In fact it seems to be assumed that all British people, regardless of their sex, will drink tea - In an "Oh, your British, so you'll be having tea right?" sort of way. No need to think your masculinity will be slighted by your tea drinking. At least not in Chicago.... Marilyn Audsley
David Robertson Jacob's Orange Club Review	Can you please tell me the colour of the wrapper on a jacobs club biscuit (plain chocolate variety) , My girlfriend says its green with a golf ball on the front  , while i say its red , who's correct?
	Nicey replies: Sorry I just remember the Golf ball.
Emily Hopkins	Dear Nicey & Wifey, On the subject of Oatcakes, in the North Staffordshire area, 'Oatcakes' are a peculiar, entirely non-biscuit entity, being more of an oaty flavour pancake which can be eaten with various savory fillings including an entire cooked breakfast if you're particularly brave (or so I've been told). Being from Cheshire, I have sampled an oatcake when they've escaped from the Potteries but if any North Staffs NCOTAASD readers would like to tell us more!! The best sort of tea to serve them with is probably the strong 'oily' variety rather than anything fancy like Earl Grey or Darjeeling. Emily
	Nicey replies: You can only have respect for something that wears an entire cooked breakfast as a garnish.
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