Your Views

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Your e-Mails

James Johnson	Dear Nicey, Having established yourself as an oracle of biscuit-related information, I would love to hear your opinion on this matter of vital importance: when faced with a box of selected "biscuits for cheese", how does one differentiate between the biscuits and the crackers? Is there some officially designated definition? Certainly in my experience, crackers seem to be hard, brittle and full of large air pockets, while biscuits are crumblier, slightly more moist and denser. But where does this leave the enigmatically named "water biscuits"? Yours expectantly
	Nicey replies: There is are two simple tests for crackers VS biscuits. 1) Would you dunk a load of them in your tea? 2) Would you eat them with cheese? If the answer is NO to the first and YES to the second then they should be crackers. If you want to think of Rich Tea biscuits as a dazzling spectrum of sumptuous flavours then simply eat a Water Biscuit before hand.
Brian Barratt	From Brian Barratt, English Gentleman In Exile For 50 Years, Now Resident In Melbourne, Australia. No flowers, please.   What a lovely site.   I've been waiting for you to tell the world about Arnotts Tim-Tam biscuits. One of my neighbours (we're awfully neighbourly down here, you knw) was once Chairman of Nabisco, which used to be a Very Big Biscuit Company. In his world travels, he tasted many biscuits (what a lovely time he had). He declared that the FINEST chocolate biscuit IN THE WORLD was one made the rival firm, Arnott.   Nabisco have gone. Arnott are part of some *m*r*c*n conglomerate (as far as I know), but TIM-TAM biscuits have not become cookies and they are still on sale.  If I could afford to (I'm a poor old pensioner, you see, subsisting on cups of tea) I would post some samples to you.   (I can't eat them myself, you understand, because I must not eat fatty things now I'm an elderly gentleman. Not even STILTON CHEESE, dammit.)   What a lovely site. And I'm sure TheWife is such a lovely lady.   Greety things be unto thee   Brian
	Nicey replies: Brian, Thank you for that charming email. We are always on the look out for the flagship biscuits of other nations, maybe one day we'll get to try the notorious Tim-Tam. Sorry to hear about your chocolate biscuit and cheese regime.
Guy Holcroft Tunnocks Tea Cake Review	Nicey For your information, Tunnocks Tea Cakes of bathroom sealant fame are known as Mallow Puffs in New Zealand.  Many thanks for informing me of their presence in the British Isles under a Scottish pseudonym.  I shall now head to the supermarket without delay to consume a whole packet in the interests of comparative biscuit science. As to the merits or otherwise of these biscuits, I feel a key detraction is the thinness of the chocolate covering rendering the fingers like a typical two-year olds in under 3 seconds.  If no-one is watching, this can be avoided by juggling the biscuit like a hot potato. Crofty
Ann Taylor	HobNob biscuits are greatly enjoyed by young squirrels (no, really, this is true). We had a baby squirrel (his name was Vermin) a few years ago who was found in the Meadows in Edinburgh as a cute infant who had fallen out of his tree (I think his mother pushed him), brought home and largely reared on HobNobs. Don't be fooled by squirrel propaganda about nuts - eating nuts just makes them even more aggressive than they are normally. No, the bog standard HobNob is the very man for squirrel rearing and produces a squirrel who can handle himself in the wide world with all the grace and daring of a complete psychopath. When he had left us to go about his lawful squirrel occasions, he came back into the house on a regular basis to demand a HobNob, which he would grab and run away with, kicking cats and Deerhounds out of his way as he went.
	Nicey replies: What a fantastic tale of biscuits and animal rescue. Perhaps the Deerhounds should be fed on them as well, as they seem a bit placid compared to your extra hard squirrel. The younger members of NiceCupOfTeaAndASitDown's staff are eating a lot of HobNobs this week, I better keep a close eye on them for any psychotic tendencies.
Paul Spencely	Your piece about the use of bourbons as a unit of measurement was facinating as is the rest of the site, but sadly a few days ago i made a shock discovery of a bourbon which does not conform to the usual standard, i is in fact more similar in size to a custard cream. I was sadened by this flagrent flouting of bourbon dimensions and wondered what your input would be. For your information Te biscuits in question were produced at the dove valley bakery in utoxeter by a company called Elkes Bisciuts. I look forward to your reply whilst having a nice sit down
	Nicey replies: Bourbon dimensions are flaunted at a manufacturers own risk, this will surely only lead to confusion and disorientation in the biscuit buying public.
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