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|Jon Barry Coldwell
My Grocers inform me that Bath Oliver Biscuits are 'out-of-production' and supplies have ceased. How can this be? Well I note that in recent years they were made by the Jacobs company a manufacturer that was taken over by the food giant Danone. Now, Danone is a French firm. You might say "say no more" and conclude that on the bicentenary of Lord Nelson's victory at Trafalgar they determined to strike a rearguard action against the epicurean heart of Old England. At sea and on the land they could not defeat the stalwart John Bull; resorting to underhand commercial practices they have sought to deprive their old enemy of a culinary masterpiece that has sustained and delighted discerning gentlefolk in this sceptred isle for some two hundred years. Is it time once again for this Nation to to awake from its slumbers and assert itself to curtail the excesses of these continental bullies? I caution against precipitate action. Let us first take up the pen and alert members of parliament and the barons of the media to this outrage with a demand that the shopkeepers of England be once again able to obtain supplies of sustenance made to Dr Oliver's singular recipe. We have a Royal Prince whose own endeavours have delighted the hours of many a biscuit lovers life; would it be a great presumption to humbly beg indulgences that the Duchy seize the day and take over production of the pale delight. Then William's genius could be reborn in even greater glory as the "Royal Bath Oliver Biscuits".
Jon Barry Coldwell
|Nicey replies: Jacob's UK business was acquired by United Biscuits over a year ago. We recently purchased Bath Oliver's in Sainsbury's and Waitrose, I've also seen them in Budgens and some independent stores. If they have taken the step of ceasing production then this must have happened very recently indeed, and it would be a huge pity.
What a nice web site you've done there. As I live in Paris it offers a welcome glimpse of bakelite and allotments, the smell of new Beanos in the paper shop, and everything else that make Great Britain possibly the most Great British of places on the face of the planet.
I have a confession, and I would gratefully appreciate your respecting my anonimity, a request you'll understand given the perverse nature of my sin.
I like eating digestive biscuits with a bit of sharp cheddar cheese. Nothing wrong with that, you say? How about *chocolate* digestives? Both milk and plain? I have to make sure there's no-one else in the house when I do this, as it disgusts and saddens my family.
I would find it of great comfort if there were others who, if not sharing my prediliction, could at least extend some sympathy along with the tea? God made me what I am.
Thank you for letting me get this off my chest. I feel better already.
|Nicey replies: Tim,
Yours is a recognised condition which is why we have the cheese icon.