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At the risk of being shot down in flames of derision and contempt, I'm finally sticking my head above the parapet and expressing my astonishment at finding on your estimable site no mention of two extremely toothsome treats of my close acquaintance. Made by some esoteric outfit calling themselves The Biscuit Collection, and seemingly fairly widely available in supermarkets, (local branches of Sainsbury & Aldi to name but two widely diverse extremes of the retail spectrum) the treasures to which I refer are Apple Pie Cookies and their slightly less memorable stablemate Brownie Cookies.
Yes, I'm aware the unfortunate presence of the C word does them no favours with you and your many discerning contributors, but it's hard to avoid in a climate of US Cultural Imperialism and Carpet Marketing. However I truly believe these to be little gems and deserving of your attention. I'd defend their undoubted biscuity qualities before the highest court in the land.
I may of course have entirely missed an extended correspondence on the matter, and I can't help an uneasy qualm arising at Adam's oblique reference to 'those bloody awful Apple and Cinnamon jobbies from Asda', but I would welcome your expert assessment of these unsung delights at some juncture.
I can't imagine you'd have a problem tracking them down, but just in case the packet states that they're produced in the EC for JP Associates, St John's House, Exton, EX3 0PL. I very much look forward to the type of balanced and objective review on which your devoted readers can always rely.
Yours in hopeful anticipation
|Nicey replies: Hi Mart,
The things Adam was referring to were something else. A small batch of experimental biscuits which were so troubling that they even made it into our book, getting a mention in the section about keeping strongly flavoured and experimental biscuits away from innocent and law abiding biscuits. They were only around for about eight months.
As for the ones you mention, we have not had them yet so I'll keep a look out for them.
Thank you for your charming response. You've made me think that perhaps biscuits in space is a much-neglected research area that I should pursue. I'm attaching a picture of a 1959 Russian biscuit tin featuring Sputnik 1 for your enjoyment.
|Nicey replies: Alice,
That is a fantastic biscuit tin, you must be very proud. I tend to think about biscuits in space about 3 or 4 times a week at the moment, which I think is healthy. In our book (out in November) I thought about which would be the best biscuit for zero-g or micro-gravity situation. This is surely going to be an issue for the in flight catering on any future sub-orbital space planes. Inevitably I think its the fig roll.
I just found your fab website which brought back childhood memories of biscuit assortments that my mum used to buy at xmas and birthdays. We usually had Rover, where there were never enough jammy dodger ones to go round, with those vile pink wafers sucking up all atmospheric moisture until you ate them out of desperation at the end of the tin. Sometimes we had Danish all butter that were all a bit samey and those small round ones had sugar crystals that were a touch too big for my liking!
In our house, and some of my family the left over Rover tin would be used as a place to keep importnat papers, bills etc.. Did anybody else do this with their assortment tins. In fact I might have to get one for my filing!!
It would be cool to have assortments on your site and to hear feedabck about them!
Love the site!
|Nicey replies: Sarah,
Thanks for a terrific email. We love biscuit assortments but reviewing more than a couple can be quite a task, still you're right its only a matter of time. Good call all the Danish all butter. The Danish seem to have used up all their inspiration on their Bacon and Pastries activities. Evidently when they got to biscuits they were spent, and just managed to make the same thing over and over only slightly altering the shape occasionally.
||I am back in Argentina from Antarctica. We were not allowed to take food ashore to protect the environment but there were plenty of penguins there anyhow. I was pleased to see that the ship stocked a full range of UK biscuits as I gambled in not taking any biscuits as I was struggling with my baggage allowance - 20kg of biscuits goes not go that far. What was noticeable was that there were 2 different tins depending of the sea conditions. A square red tin would be used to house the classic selection of custard creams, bourbons, chocolate digestives etc. This appeared in rough seas only and was complimented by an ample supply of tea. In contrast there was a circular Wallace and Gromit biscuit tin with a plainer selection for the calmer seas. This was in complete contrast to what I had anticipated as I thought that the plainer biscuits would be used in rough seas and the more lavish selection in the calmer conditions. You don´t want to throw up your best biscuits do you? The Russians manning the ship appeared to be using something that resembled ginger biscuits but with a slightly rougher texture when they were on the bridge. These may be they key to navigating between icebergs and may be the fabled ship´s biscuit I was searching for. I did not sample them as they could have thrown me overboard for touching them - I guess the effect would be the same as killing an albatross and could bring bad luck upon the ship. They also had their own chef so I would guess they did not like the UK selection. Will continue the research in Argentina.|
||I am about to undertake a boat trip to the Antarctic from Argentina and would appreciate your advice on the correct biscuit to select for the journey. I am aware that Argentina is not the most renowned biscuit country in the world so am not sure whether to take my stock with me from the UK or not. I would also appreciate any recommendations you have on biscuits suitable for counteracting the effects of seasickness. In the olden days I have heard that sailors could live on salted beef, rum and ship's biscuits but do not know what they were made of. Sometimes they were full of weevils and maybe that was the secret ingredient. I will attempt to undertake some research into this on my journey following the route of the ancient mariners. Also are there any biscuits to counteract the hole in the ozone layer and do I need to take a tin with me as well. Any advice would be appreciated. |
|Nicey replies: Dave,
I'm thinking Digestives could be the boys for the job, and probably some Garibaldis as they pack well. Ships biscuits or hard tack are very nasty indeed and sailors used to actually break their teeth trying to eat them, so you probably want to give that a miss.
Unfortunately we have no data on South American biscuits at all, but if we extrapolate from what we know of the Spanish / Portuguese biscuit world then we would certainly advise taking your own. As for biscuits that counteract sea sickness and ultra violet radiation it looks like you're the man for gathering that data.
It is always wise to have an appropriate biscuit tin.
Mail us when you get back especially if you get a picture of you eating biscuits in an extreme environment. Hoorah!