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Foxs Chocolate Viennese Review
|During the 1970's, my father had the contract for unblocking the drains at Jacob's Biscuits in Liverpool. He was regularly telephoned in the small hours and summoned to the factory as a matter of urgency. Next day, we children would awaken to the Christmas-like spectacle of boxes of Clubs at the bottom of our beds. These had apparently been presented to my father with the nightwatchman's compliments. The contents were always flawed and sometimes actually mutant, with defects ranging from crushing and treading injuries (footprints visible in the foil) to the classic complete omission of biscuit matter, frequently cited on these pages. For some reason this happened a great deal with the orange flavoured variety, and only very rarely with the mint. My favourite mistake was an unsurpassed clump of approximately twenty four amalgamated Fruit Clubs, lavishly coated in chocolate, but set in a formless heap. We had to hack bits off it with a rolling pin, although, as my Grandma pointed out, They Tasted The Same.|
I used to ask my father how such anarchy came to be visited on the production line but he always just shrugged and said it was nothing to with him, his department was the drains.
Incidentally, I was pleased to see that you have just reviewed the Fox's Viennese - this has recently become my biscuit of choice. I would recommend keeping them in the refrigerator, especially during warmer spells. This greatly improves the texture of the filling and the overall mouth-feel, and adds interest to the "bite".
|Nicey replies: Heidi,
Woo, fantastic tales of Clubs of old there. Biscuit factories must be thrilling places to work, even if it is to do with drains. The monster 24 fruit Club thing should have been cast in bronze as a monument of some sort. I think it would have made a splendid statue to put outside their front gate. Or it could have been given to visiting foreign dignitaries. Still good job you got in there first and mullered it with a rolling pin.
Glad you liked the Viennese review I enjoyed the 5 or ten minutes it took to completely review the pack.