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Your e-Mails

Keith O'Kane	Dear Nicey and the Wife, I was watching breakfast telly this morning and was surprised to see the presenters discussing a new nylon tea bag that is supposed to make the tea taste better. I didn’t get too many details as my concentration isn’t the best first thing in the morning, but the tea bag was pyramid shaped, giving a strong indication of the manufacturer. In a blind test (not carried out under scientific conditions) John Stapleton claimed to have preferred the tea from the nylon bag, although a much more in-depth study would be required in order to convince me of the merits of this new technology. I’m all in favour of anything that makes my tea taste better, but I’m less keen on throwing lots of those little nylon bags on my compost heap.
	Nicey replies: Morning Keith, That sounds like a giant leap backwards. Monkey in America sent us over some very dubiuos nylon teabags last year that were like tall four sided pyramids. The came in individually parcelled up adorned with gold coloured wire and ornamental leaves. I couldn't tell if the tea was any good or not as I was too annoyed. Much the same effect as wanting a cosy informal fireside pub lunch, and being forced to sit bolt upright in a draughty conservatory whilst some waitress chastises you for not booking and not fancying any of their ridiculously overpriced out of place and pompous menu. John Stapleton should have known better than to endorse such nonsense, mind you I always thought that it was Lynn Faulds-Wood who wore the trousers. So maybe he is just making petulant statements whilst off the leash. What am I going on about?
Alison Debenham	Hi Nicey, Wifey and YMOS Isn't this taking things just a little too far? All the best Alison
	Nicey replies: Very probably. It just adds yet another problem to your life, the foreboding and tension as your pack of 50 teapot drip catchers begins to run out and you realise that you may have to face up to unmanaged teapot drips once more until you can replenish your supply.
Dr Alice Gorman	Dear Nicey, My best regards to you, Wifey, and the younger members of staff. I feel like I have been out of contact for too long. Academic life, it must be said, is not always conducive to engaging with the broader world. Last week, as you know, was a momentous anniversary in the history of space exploration. To celebrate the launch of Sputnik 1 in 1957 my colleague Dr Lynley Wallis spent all night in the kitchen making special sputnik cakes. We offered them to our graduate students in a masterclass on the day itself. The presence of cake brought home to them how significant this day was in the creation of the modern world. I knew you would enjoy seeing the results of our efforts and attach a (only slightly blurry) picture of the special sputnik cakes. I remain your most humble devotee, Alice
	Nicey replies: Its always good to hear from NCOTAASD's favourite space archaeologist. We too were excited about the 50th anniversary of Sputnik, which for good reason is the artificial satellite that I most often think of. Despite all the hundreds of other ones up there routing our phone calls, guiding our transport and keeping an eye on the weather, Sputnik is the only one with its own vegetable. The Kohl-Rabis that turn up in our weekly delivered veggi-box are the spit of it, and very nice in a stir fry it is. I'm impressed that each cake seems to be unique in its design and colour scheme and I note that Dr Wallis didn't spare the food colouring. I hope this didn't render all your students hyper-active with attention deficit issues. Granted the latter is always difficult to diagnose in students although working in such a stimulating field I'm sure you don't suffer from such things.
Hiromi Miura Japanese McVities Digestives Review	Dear Nicey,Wifey and YMOS Some Mcvitie's biscuits seemed to decide to spend summer season in an ice-cold place in Japan! The other day, I found some Mcvitie's biscuits being in an ice-cream case ay my local "Queen's Isetan" supermarket. How wise they are! They must see that summer in Japan is humid and hot, well. Therefore, I suppose that some Mcvitie's' determined to move into such a paradise, away from the usual biscuit shelf. Inside the red box, you can see six ice-cream sandwich biscuits individually wrapped. If you rule that the side of "Mcvitie's stamp" is its face, you might see six pairs of biscuits taking a peaceful snooze, cooling their oven-baked biscuit backs on/under the chocolate ice. The chocolate-flavoured ice-cream is smooth and rich. However, the Mcvitie's biscuit looks like losing their original crunchy texture of plain Digestive biscuits on/under the ice-cream. They are soft, moist and soggy. But it is enjoyable for me to eat such loose Mcvitie's biscuits once in a while in hot summer. The ice-cream Mcvitie's is approximately 5.8cm in diameter. Thank you for reading. Sincerely, Hiromi Miura (Tokyo,Japan)
	Nicey replies: Hiromi, Yet another exotic Japanese Digestive. I wonder if chocolate digestives would fair better? The layer of chocolate might help stop them going soggy?
Jon Gerrard	Good morning Mr Nicey I've had a fantastic marketing idea for convenience food. It came to me in a dream last night. Imagine a pack with two strips of biscuit dough, each mixed with a different chemical (some research will be necessary on the details, but what is the lottery fund for if not to aid such important endeavours?). The two strips are mixed, kneaded together, rolled and cut into jaunty shapes and put on a tray. This is where the clever bit happens. The two chemicals, having been mixed, start a reaction, the heat of which cooks the biscuits. I cannot see any way in which this could possibly go wrong.
	Nicey replies: Yes it sounds absolutely safe, no problems there. Very similar process to mixing up Araldite only with out using a match and an old jam jar lid. I've always thought that a keen interest in Araldite was a good indicator of the onset of middle age. Think of us when you have made your first 2.2 million pounds (1 million goes nowhere nowadays apparently).
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