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Animal Biscuits Multireview Review
A friend just returned from the US and, knowing my love of biscuits, brought me back a box of childhood favourites, Barnum’s Animal Crackers.
I’ll be honest, they are a bit strange. Not a great biscuit at all, but horribly addictive. Unlike our own animal biscuits, they’re not covered in chocolate either, which doesn’t help. Obviously, through the name Barnum, there’s a circus theme. They come in a cardboard box, which I think is meant to be a circus truck transporting animals. It has a little string handle on it so small Americans can carry them to school. When you open them up, however, there are all sorts of animal shapes, such as koalas and giraffes and other things you wouldn’t normally see in the big tent.
Boasting ‘a rich source of calcium’ they kind of have a malted milk essence to them, but as if someone had tried to merge a malted milk with a rich tea and with an overwhelming taste of the cardboard box. I’ve been unable to determine whether this is because they have been transported or whether they always taste like this. I really wouldn’t recommend them, however, in a US based biscuit emergency, they might just pip the Oreo.
|Nicey replies: Ours tasted like that too, so it's probably another biscuit which you have to be raised on to really like.|
||I love custard, either 'proper' or made from custard powder, but don't get tinned custard at all. Am I the only person that thinks it has a really weird taste. It's totally synthetic and overpowers anything it is served with. Yuck.|
And while we're on the subject of custard, thank you so much for starting this thread. At school I was mercilessly mocked for loving school custard, and my disappointment when it was really thin and runny, instead of lovely and thick, or, even worse, it was chocolate sauce instead. Perhaps next year should be devoted to school puddings.
Kimberley and Chocolate Kimberley Review
|Hello Mr. Nicey, |
I discovered your site today after hearing the details of your news story on Chocolate Kimberleys being available in Britain on the radio. On reading your news story, and the various comments (particularly Rachael's), I did a little search on t'internet and have discovered this company who distributes Kimberleys, plus their 'sister biscuits' Mikados and Coconut Creams, not to mention a whole host of other Irish delicacies, to a large number of UK supermarkets. I've just been to my local Budgens (Porchester Rd,London W2) to see for myself and there they were!
Really like your site by the way!
|Nicey replies: Thanks Lisa you have probably got to the bottom of it there. Wifey will be off for some Tayto Cheese and Onion crisps now as well as a few Chocolate Kimberleys and a bottle of red lemonade. I wonder if these O'Kanes are any relation to NCOTAASD regular Keith whose email precedes this.|
||Dear Nicey and the Wife,|
Lent is almost upon us once again and, as with previous years, two of my colleagues have resolved to give up chocolate and cakes for the duration. As you might expect, discussions have turned to the exact classification of certain items. One colleague is claiming that it is ok to eat waffles as they are not cakes. This is a fairly reasonable view except that waffles are in essence a fancy form of pancake which is a cake by name if not necessarily by nature.
The other colleague is claiming that the Cherry Bakewell is permitted as, in her view, it is a pie, not a cake.
I feel that this is a gross abuse of the classification system and the Cherry Bakewell is a cake for three obvious reasons:
Firstly, they can be found in the cake section in the supermarket. Secondly, the Cherry Bakewell is a tart, not a pie and finally, the more popular ones are made by Mr. Kipling who is not known for making exceedingly good pies!
Can we have your expert opinion on this please so that the matter can be put to rest before the start of lent.
|Nicey replies: Keith,
It really seems a bit self defeating giving things up for lent if you are aiming to simply to have an extended excuse to gorge your face on Mr Kipling Bakewell tarts. If you can't persude the bloke at the next desk that you are eating six packs of tarts to achieve some sort of spiritual renewal then frankly what is the point. What ever peoples views on religion, it would take a fairly dim God to be fooled by such shenanigans.
And yes of course Bakewell Tarts are cakes, as you so ably point out.
Bahlsen Orange Choco Leibniz Review
|Following on from Alan Bromley’s heartfelt – if slightly un-British – review of the Choco Leibniz, I would like to add my own thoughts on this most affecting of daytime delights.|
As I am now resident in New Zealand, these thoughts may seem a little rose-tinted for your usually objective reviews pages, but please bear with me as I relive the pleasures of frivolous tea-dippery denied to us expats.
Before leaving England I worked for a video games developer in Guildford. Although the work is probably of no interest whatsoever to those of even a moderately sound mind, the company bonus scheme was inspired. When we as a team had worked especially hard or achieved another “milestone”, as these things were called, we were sometimes treated to a packet of biscuits by our producer – an especially nice chap called Geoff, whom I will always imagine sitting in an old armchair with a mug of tea in one hand and a half-eaten Pims biscuit in the other.
Most of the time these biscuits were fairly run-of-the-mill affairs – custard creams or bourbons, occasionally even sleep-inducingly stodgy donuts from a well-known supermarket chain – but on ocassions when we’d been especially deserving, our producer would reveal… the Choco Leibiz.
As Alan hinted at in his review, the secret of the Choco Leibniz, I feel, is its density. The Rich Tea portion is slightly small, with rather pretentious frills at its edges, but it is combined perfectly with a thick wedge of either milk or plain chocolate welded to its underside. Had the chocolate totally enclosed the biscuit, or had a pair of Rich Tea biscuits sandwiched the chocolate, I feel the balance would be lost. As it is, the devotee can see exactly what they’re getting: a Rich Tea biscuit offset with beautiful-tasting and beautifully-crafted chocolate.
Like a Patek Phillippe watch or a Mont Blanc pen, anyone even setting eyes on such a thing can immediately see that they are dealing with a product on a different plane from those they are used to dealing with on a day-to-day basis. The chocolate, which resembles a gold ingot in both its solidity as well as its shape, looks and feels as though it has been chiselled by a master chocolatier. Its smooth sufaces and chiselled edges cannot but inspire confidence – and respect. Biting into it is like biting into a bar of the finest chocolate: firm at first, then gracefully yielding; rich, but not overpowering; solid and yet oh-so fleeting.
It is, you might say, a biscuit befitting the finer moments in life. If I ever get to an age or maturity when I can justifiably sit by a roaring fire with a glass of fine red wine and a gently smouldering cigar, I will have at my side a plate of Choco Leibniz.