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Just read your comments on the PG Tips bags. On the bottom of my current box of four score I notice that PG (Unilever) have trade marked the tetrahedral shape of the bag AND the name Pyramid. Surely they can't have it both ways. To add even more confusion I have just had a nice mug of PG Tips tetrahedral shaped pyramid tea, with a "Hand Baked" Current Shrewsbury biscuit. Surely they mean Hand Made, Oven Baked!? It's all too much for me, it's enough to drive anyone to Happy Shopper square bags and a packet of pink wafers.
|Nicey replies: Sound points there Jim. Baking stuff in your hands would almost certainly lead to very a serious burns injury.
On a similar note things that proclaim themselves to be homemade when they are plainly produced in Industrial proportions always get me wondering. Do they have a vast network of homes in which their products are made, involving an exhaustive series of deliveries of raw materials and collection of the finished goods? Or perhaps somebody actually has to reside at the factory premises in order for it to be a home and therefore be able to produce homemade goods?
It deeply distresses me that, on your buiscuit taxonomy page, you call Nice biscuits "on of the nastiest biscuits ever". I always assumed they are called 'Nice' because that is axactly what they are - not 'amazing', granted, but still 'nice'. Also you dis pink wafers, which is most out of order.
|Nicey replies: Oliver, SIR,
You are entitled to your own opinion.
I am in your debt. Your site has given me the abilty to choose the perfect biscuit for any occasion. For example, if i were to have a children's party BNs and Pink Wafers would be involved (and maybe those round ones with the hole and the icing on top, I forget the name). However I am stumped when it comes to the Hovis biscuit. To me it seems that the nation is divided right down the middle with these. You have to love or hate them. They come in one of those selection boxes for eating with cheese after a nice sunday meal, however if you do put cheese on them they taste utterly repulsive. They are always either the first or the last of the selection to go suggestion that there IS no grey area with them. However I have yet to judge wheter i like them or not because i do not know what they are supposed to taste of. Is it bread? Why make a bread biscuit?
I am baffled. Perhaps you could shed some light on the infamous "HOVIS Biscuit" ?
|Nicey replies: Actually for a children's party I would advocate Cadburys Chocolate Fingers and Custard Creams.
Hovis biscuits are simply digestives, but I do agree with you that they are not good with cheese although some people do like them that way. I fail to see why they single out the digestive to join the crackers on cheese duty. If its a sweet biscuit that is needed rather than a savory cracker then why not pop in a few Lincolns or maybe an Abbey Crunch!
||Your bloke off to the Antarctic should take ginger biscuits and nibble them slowly to avoid seasickness. Well they are generally suggested to help avoid morning sickness so they might work. Pregnant women are told to lie in bed whilst partner brings in nice cup of tea and a couple of ginger nuts to start the day off well. Let's face it any day that starts with tea and biscuits in bed can't be all bad can it.|
|Nicey replies: Sound advice Paula, I know the Wife would agree with you on the whole tea/staying in bed thing.|
In response to your comments about the poxy resealable containers certain biscuits are bought in, I feel drawn to point out that this is a conspiracy, as it is virtually impossible to find a decent biscuit tin these days. Many moons ago when leaving home for the first time, the only item I truly longed for was a biscuit tin to call my own. A proper one, barrel shaped made out of metal (thats why its a tin) with an entirely useless swinging handle and little knob on the top. The only things we could find were Tupperware or poncey ceramic things that were in no way airtight enough for safe biscuit storage. Tupperware, admittedly functional, has none of the charm of a proper tin which can be passed around and is so vile to look at it can ruin a nice sit down. Also Tupperware is what old ladies store leftovers in and then leave in the fridge forever. The idea of using it for biscuits is frankly not honourable. My tinless life only ended when the grandparents shuffled off to enjoy biscuits and sit downs in a less earthly realm, allowing me to inherit theirs. I have heard talk of people clinging on to selection tins in order to preserve biscuits but as this involves buying dodgy selections which heavily feature the pink wafer it is not to be encouraged. How can we ensure the future of proper tins?