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Andy Donovan
Maryland Specials Raisin, Oat, Choc Chunk and Maple Syryp Cookies Review |
Dear Nicey et al,
A little off the topic of tea or biscuits (but kind of on the topic of sit-downs) I was reading your reply to Chris Rayment's message and was reminded of how the yoghurt eating 'real women' are so surprised that the yoghurt 'tastes just like a desert'. I always thought it was a desert, and so was never that taken aback that it tasted like one. Maybe their judgement was clouded by their bloatedness.
Also, a tip for the Senokot lady - it's easier to digest food when you don't keep it in your handbag.
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| Nicey replies: They should be pleased that they are able to sort themselves using puddings. I'm sure there was a scene in 'Far from the madding crowd' when the sheep had eaten something that made them all puff up like balloons. This made them very unwell indeed and they were scattered around the field with their legs in the air. I think Alan Bates had to poke a knitting needle in them to deflate them. I'm certain I'm not making this up. |
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Chris Rayment
Maryland Specials Raisin, Oat, Choc Chunk and Maple Syryp Cookies Review |
Dear Nicey, Wifey and young staffers
I too am often puzzled by the addition of ‘real’ to assorted nouns. I understand ‘real chocolate’, that’s a definite plus, and I always figured ‘real fruit’ meant ‘not those wax imitation designers put in bowls in hotel receptions fruit’. I’m all in favour of more ‘real’ stuff instead of artificial, but sometimes it’s a bit silly – what really puzzles me is ‘tested on real women’ – as opposed to what, androids, crash test dummies, shop mannequins?
I think I’d better have a sit down with a cup of real tea, and in the absence of biscuits (must visit Asda at lunchtime), a (real) Clementine.
Chris Rayment |
| Nicey replies: I think you are referring to those poor bloated real women with digestive discomfort who need to eat yoghurt apparently. They are in good company as there is a whole host of presumably real women taking all sorts of things for their dodgy insides. There's the Senokot lady who is able to stop feeling all bunged up and starts the day properly with a sort of satisfied smile. She probably bumps into the Diacalm lady who is now able to leave the house having previously been wedded to her downstairs lavvy. Perhaps they are all heading off for elevensies with the new lady who appeared on telly last night who had the most graphic problems thus far and needed a special 'softening' pill to sort her out.
Now far be it for us to poke fun at peoples ailments or cast aspersions over their diet but I can't help thinking who would win in a fight between all of them. My money's on the Senokot lady. I so want to do a poll on this. |
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| Sally England |
Dear Nicey
Last Friday we had a staff meeting and someone bought a box of Millie's cookies to keep us from eating our own legs during the afternoon. I thought I'd try a toffee one. The toffee had leaked out and set around the edges of the cookie and as a result was very hard and very sharp. Slashing your hand open with a cookie during planning for next year's service agreement does not, I'm afraid, add much to your professional reputation. Be warned!
Sally |
| Nicey replies: Most Millies cookies I've been forced to sample have the texture of a dishcloth, which makes this is even more of a concealed hazard. Still it kept you from having to eat your legs I hope.
Nicey (Still traumatised and slighty queazy from an unprovoked spate of giant foot wide heavily iced Millies birthday cookies ten years or more ago) |
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| SJ |
Dear Nicey,
On a recent adventure the French Alps I discovered that when the French aren't making fine wine and excellent cheese, they busy themselves with a spot of Marmot Tea making. Unfortunately, despite they niceness of the illustration on the packet (two marmots enjoying a nice cup of tea, and a sit down), the tea itself turned out to taste of very little, and we were left disappointed by the drinking experience.
However, the website that I found advertised on the box almost made up for it www.les2marmottes.fr - it has a rather pleasing animation on start up that tells a tale to warm the cockles. Thought you might like it also.
The conclusion of my investigation was that while there are plenty on places for a good sit down in alpine areas, you are best avoiding the cups of tea, and opting for the nice cup of vin chaud and a sit down instead. Nothing to report on the biscuit front, so think further research is needed.
Cheers then,
SJ |
| Nicey replies: Indeed. Never ever expect the French to produce a decent tea bag. Doubly so if they are basing their inspiration on a the leaf litter dragged into the borrow of a large alpine rodent. I could go on. |
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Bushra
Lotus Caramelised Biscuits Review |
Hi there,
You probably get lots of requests to identify biscuits, so sorry if this is another one you can't help with!
I don't know if you have seen the Direct Line adverts on TV, where there is a woman in the garden with her dog, and she tucks into a biscuit after Direct Line make her happy. It's a square biscuit. looks the same colour as the Lotus Caramelised biscuits and has swirly patterns on it.
They look like a nice biscuit to have with a cup of tea but I have no idea what they are!
Of course you might not have seen the adverts, in which case never mind!
Thanks,
Bushra |
| Nicey replies: I hadn't noticed but I shall pay special attention now and report back my findings.
I like studying adverts, at the moment I'm paying special attention to the Pantene shampoo advert. The girl with the very long hair is so pleased at how shiny its become that it has turned her ever so slightly evil. She uses her mirror shine hair to annoy a sleeping stubbly bloke by dangling the ends of it in his face. I've noticed that just lately the stubbly bloke has anticipated her doing this and is now partially awake. Presumably he finds it increasingly hard to sleep soundly knowing that hair dangly girl could sneak up at any moment. |
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