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Your e-Mails

Andy Donovan

Maryland Specials Raisin, Oat, Choc Chunk and Maple Syryp Cookies Review
Nicey replies: They should be pleased that they are able to sort themselves using puddings. I'm sure there was a scene in 'Far from the madding crowd' when the sheep had eaten something that made them all puff up like balloons. This made them very unwell indeed and they were scattered around the field with their legs in the air. I think Alan Bates had to poke a knitting needle in them to deflate them. I'm certain I'm not making this up.

Chris Rayment

Maryland Specials Raisin, Oat, Choc Chunk and Maple Syryp Cookies Review
Nicey replies: I think you are referring to those poor bloated real women with digestive discomfort who need to eat yoghurt apparently. They are in good company as there is a whole host of presumably real women taking all sorts of things for their dodgy insides. There's the Senokot lady who is able to stop feeling all bunged up and starts the day properly with a sort of satisfied smile. She probably bumps into the Diacalm lady who is now able to leave the house having previously been wedded to her downstairs lavvy. Perhaps they are all heading off for elevensies with the new lady who appeared on telly last night who had the most graphic problems thus far and needed a special 'softening' pill to sort her out.

Now far be it for us to poke fun at peoples ailments or cast aspersions over their diet but I can't help thinking who would win in a fight between all of them. My money's on the Senokot lady. I so want to do a poll on this.

Sally England
Nicey replies: Most Millies cookies I've been forced to sample have the texture of a dishcloth, which makes this is even more of a concealed hazard. Still it kept you from having to eat your legs I hope.

Nicey (Still traumatised and slighty queazy from an unprovoked spate of giant foot wide heavily iced Millies birthday cookies ten years or more ago)

The FrenchTea
Nicey replies: Indeed. Never ever expect the French to produce a decent tea bag. Doubly so if they are basing their inspiration on a the leaf litter dragged into the borrow of a large alpine rodent. I could go on.


Lotus Caramelised Biscuits Review
Nicey replies: I hadn't noticed but I shall pay special attention now and report back my findings.

I like studying adverts, at the moment I'm paying special attention to the Pantene shampoo advert. The girl with the very long hair is so pleased at how shiny its become that it has turned her ever so slightly evil. She uses her mirror shine hair to annoy a sleeping stubbly bloke by dangling the ends of it in his face. I've noticed that just lately the stubbly bloke has anticipated her doing this and is now partially awake. Presumably he finds it increasingly hard to sleep soundly knowing that hair dangly girl could sneak up at any moment.