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I was quite disturbed today, when I found the popular American biscuit (which they consistently refer to as 'cookie' - tsch (What does this have to say about Americans?) I mean, just what is the world coming to when we need eating instructions on our biscuits? Soon we may have dumb little pictures of how to dunk your rich tea into your nice cup of tea, and directions on how to eat the middle out of bourbons!!!
I am so distraught by findings today, that I think I have lost all faith in humanity, and need a quality English biscuit (or maybe even a scone with jam and clotted cream) to pull me out of this pit of despair. That, and I feel it is surely the responsibility of the good biscuit loving community to create a strike-force against revolting biscuits with eating instructions on the box.
What do you think of that idea?
|Nicey replies: I don't think Oreos taste too bad, but they are a bit of an anticlimax. Those disgusting chocolate sweets the Americans have, with peanut butter in the middle, that's something to be proud of, but Oreos, forget it.
Yes I've seen those eating instructions as well. What's that for! They tell you to pull them apart eat the cream bit then eat the other bits or something, I don't know. If that is what your supposed to do then why go to the trouble of sticking them together! Why not just supply a big old lump of the inside white muck, in a tin or something and a few out side browns bits.
I've also little packets of four Oreos wrapped together as a 'Serving', this too seems futile. I simply don't believe that an American considers 4 Oreos to be a serving, 14 maybe, 4 no.
I am quite concerned by the shocking price raise of sainsburys 'taste the difference' triple choclate cookies. Being a former employee at the said supermarket chain i know only to well how populer these little bundles of joy are. However 1 packet of 8 taste the difference cookies cost almost as much as a box of cadburys choclate animals!!
I need your wisdom and guideance on the matter, as the deciding hurts my head.
Thankyou kindly :) -dan baker
|Nicey replies: The answer is simple, eat so many of the expensive triple choc ones that you can't face them for months, leaving you free to experiment with other biscuits. 3 packs in a row should do the trick.
there's this sort of factory-shop-for-biscuits place in this town in scotland.
i've been to scotland a few times and each time i go here to get the nicest biscuits ever. they are fresh, cooked on the premises, and amazingly tasty. they even have gypsy creams. yum. they also sell nice cake and gingerbread and other fondant fancys.
if you are ever in the castle douglas area of scotland, i reckon u should go there.
|Nicey replies: Yep, sounds very useful, I've committed that to memory. It didn't say on the web page but if they were to do big mugs of tea as well, I think people could go there for a weeks holiday, and camp in the car park.|
||More Nice biscuit stuff - Me and my biscuit partner decided recently that they should be given a chance and that maybe they were just mis-understood and very clearly the subject of a hate campaign led by Nicey the biscuit master general. After all, we both clearly remembered eating them as kids. So, we bought a pack, and ate them.|
And were both nearly sick.
|Nicey replies: That was a dangerous and foolhardy stunt at best. Think on.
||Charles here, I have written to inform you of my opinion of the so called 'pink wafer'|
As you can quite obviously tell, the biscuit is simply named, it being of the wafery pink variety, but the setup is rather complex, a pink wafer sandwiching a slice of sweet creamy 'stuff' I have compiled in my own time a list showing the advantages and disadvantages of this new breed of biscuit
ADVAN. (standing for advantages obviously)
they are pink
The crumbs fall in the coffee/tea
They are rather sickly alone
I am sorry that this e-mail has been completely pointless
and i apologise for wasting your time
|Nicey replies: Razor sharp biscuit logic.