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Tuesday 29 Oct 2002

This week we have picked on one those dull bland biscuits again. The Marie biscuit really isn't much to get worked up about, in fact I'm struggling to think of anything to say about it really. Its like a fluffy rich tea with a hint of vanilla. There. Oh and it has some quite intricate patterns and writing.

Why then does half the world seem to have an interest in this un-remarkable little disc of whatever? India, Austraila,South Africa and many other countries think of the Marie biscuit as part of their cuisine. Indeed the review biscuits were made in the Netherlands, and imported by Sainsbury's. How has this biscuit secured a position of global importance? No that wasn't a rhetorical question, I really don't know. But wait what's this! They are all doing wonky recipes with them, smashing them up or covering them in random stuff, well they would have to really because they taste pretty lousy.

I don't know, I prefer to think of them in terms of a biscuit version of the four horsemen of the apocalypse, up there with the Rich Tea, Morning Coffee and the Lemon Puff. The Lemon puff would be the really dodgy one on the far right, and the Marie biscuit would have a big sword and start all the fights. Yep I'm wandering now.

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Fox's Rocky Chocomania Limited Edition

Sunday 20 Oct 2002

This week we have dipped into our Fox's review box again to give you another chance to find out about some of the leading edge biscuit engineering being done by our friends at Fox's. As we saw with the sprinkle crinkle crunch, Fox's will happily push the envelope of biscuit design, and the Rocky Chocomania is an exercise in extreme chocolate usage.

The Rocky bar already has a well deserved reputation for being a very well thought out chocolate covered biscuit. At 28mm by 80mm its quite diminutive but its real milk chocolate covering makes up for its small size by being one of the nicest we have tried. With the Chocomania Fox's have put no less than four distinct chocolate based components together. A crunchy chocolate biscuit base, with raised sides holds a small tablet of chocolate cream. On top of this is balanced a strip of chocolate sauce and finally the whole lot is covered in the chocolate we have already spoken of. This level of attention and detailing in a small biscuit bar demands respect.

What does it taste like? Well with this level of chocolate action, unsurprisingly it tastes like a crunchy chocolate, and is perilously close to ejecting itself from the Venn diagram of biscuits altogether. Perhaps Fox's recognise that this is indeed a biscuit at the very limits of the biscuit world, and have decided to limit its production, as the public may not be ready for such a thing. Or maybe they ran out of Chocolate.


Lotus Caramelised Biscuits

Monday 14 Oct 2002

This week we turn to Belgium for our biscuit of the week. When we think of Belgium we tend to think chocolate, beer, chips and possibly that detective chap with the little moustache. Do we think of biscuits? No not really.

So it came as a bit of a surprise to find that Lotus Caramelised biscuits came from Belgium, as their packaging has a bit of an oriental vibe to it. In fact they have been knocking them out since 1932.

Using lots of syrup in the recipe lets the biscuit take on its deep brown caramel colour and flavour during baking. It also makes for a light and crisp biscuit, and the cinnamon gives it a distinctly continental taste. Very tasty and quite easy to munch your way through half a dozen with out a second thought.

Now for the slightly dissapointing bit, the embossed picture on the top of a lotus flower. You should be able to make it out on the picture here, but if the packet is to be believed then it should be a vivid three dimensional relief. The wording on the packaging lays it on thick about how if the product does not meet your expectations then return it for a full refund etc etc. They should probably put pictures of the biscuits it actually contains on the out side if they took this bit really seriously.

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