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Your e-Mails

Zoe Healey	In a survey conducted by Community Service Volunteers and reported on the BBC website magazine, it was reported that 79% of over-65s’ tea breaks take up more than an hour a week – I’d hope so too! We should all aim for this, I’d say. In fact 1 h seems too short for a week’s worth of tea-breaks. For instance the government insists its employees have two 15 min breaks a day don’t they? I seem to remember this from filling in time sheets when working in a hospital lab – ‘allow an hour for lunch and 15 mins each for morning and afternoon break’. That’s 2.5 hours just during the working week! Celebrity life coach Gladeana McMahon suggested that people spend who spend a lot of time drinking tea could use that time to help others by organizing community tea parties around their personal tea breaks. Hurrah!
Chris Heron	Dear Nicey I would like to propose a fifth method of eating Jaffa Cakes which, like all great scientific breakthroughs, is the product of an accident. I purchased a 15 capacity cardboard tube of Jaffas for energy sustenance during a sporting event, but unfortunately the Jaffas all melted together in the heat. Although it was initially quite difficult to winkle out the congealed Jaffas, eventually I was rewarded with a double decker effect of in some cases, four Jaffas stuck together. It probably added an extra 10 minutes to my triathlon time, but was well worth it for the resultant delicious Jaffa gateaux. I now recreate the effect in my office by leaving the tube next to my window. As a production method this technique produces a variable number of decks, but I think this just adds to the excitement of it all. Eating anything more than a six decker is just unnecessary showing off Chris
Mark Whitaker	Dear Nicey & Wifey, I've made a rather stunning discovery this morning. I'm sitting here with a cup of tea and a packet of… wait for it... 24 Tesco Value Jaffa Cakes. Now that in itself is a disturbing paradox for any biscuit lover. How can you combine the concept of no frills with an indisputable champion amongst biscuits/cakes/whatever they are? It would be like Stelios announcing a new low-cost limousine franchise called EasyRolls. In my defence I should point out that the comestibles in question were left over from a 5th birthday party at the weekend, and I'm sure any of your readers can forgive that. Five year olds wouldn't recognise a quality biscuit if it bit them on the a**e. It's all about volume at that age. Anyway, I digress. The point is: they're really quite good. There's the same key non-standard issue as any shop-brand Jaffa Cakes (slightly brittle base rather than the cakey spongeyness of the real thing), but other than that, they're sound. I've conducted my study in all the standard ways: Entire JC inserted into mouth in one go. JC bitten clean through the middle and consumed in two halves. JC bent down at the edges so the chocolate erupts to reveal bulging, gleaming orangy bit, then all three components broken apart and eaten separately. Edges bitten off all round, then remaining chocolate disk removed with fingernails and consumed, then remaining sponge/orange tartlet placed on tongue until sponge disintegrates, then orangy bit sucked until it dissolves. After all that I still think I would struggle to tell the difference between them and Tesco premium Jaffa Cakes… apart from (pats back pocket of jeans in pound-saving style) when I look in my wallet. Say what you like about Tesco, they obviously know how to produce fine quality own-brand imitations at a very reasonable price. Best wishes, Mark
	Nicey replies: Mark, Thanks for that round up of Jaffa eating techniques I feel a poll coming on.
Chris Bis Fruit Shortcake Review	Dearest Nicey and Wifey I would be very keen indeed to find out what your thoughts are on the worlds most underated biscuit. A colleague of mine thinks its Lincolns. I am not keen on them personally but would eat them in an emergency I suppose. My opinion is that Rich Teas most likely fit the bill, my own lovely wife thinks their simplicity is sublime. Again they are not really my “cup of tea”…. being a raging ginger nut fanatic but I can appreciate their appeal for those people who rate dipability above all else. What do you think?
	Nicey replies: I think its the Fruit Shortcake, it really gives way more than anybody ever asks of it.
Nick Q Biscato Spicy and Plain Digesta Review	Dear Nicey I write to you midway through a two week business trip to Egypt. The lack of teaspoons is alarming. In fact, given that I'm in one of the fanciest hotels in Cairo (just next to the pyramids) their ability to produce a suitable spoon for any task is a worry. This morning at breakfast I was presented with a soup spoon to eat my little pot of yoghurt. Teaspoons are only allocated when the waiter comes to pour your coffee, and it is likely to be whisked away should you leave your table to replenish your plate from the breakfast buffet. I would have trousered a set of eating irons by now to carry around with me however one is frequently required to pass through metal detectors to get to the simplest of objectives and I do not wish to be frisked every time I pass through the hotel reception area. I am planning to try the breakfast tea tomorrow although I have resisted it thus far as the coffee served is so far removed from any other cup of coffee I have tried that I cannot contemplate what the tea might be like and may be disinclined to give it an honest appraisal. Also the milk served with such beverages is of the hot frothy variety which also makes me somewhat hesitant to see what it would do to the tea. However, this in no way detracts from my overall enjoyment of the country which, like many places across the world, has it own distinctive charms and idiosyncracies. A word to your readers - bring your own supply of (plastic) teaspoons if planning to visit. Pharoanically yours Nick Q
	Nicey replies: Hello again Nick, You have of course reminded us of Wifey's trip to Cairo the other year. She didn't report any problems with the the supply of teaspoons in Egypt so maybe this is a recent and troubling issue. Anyhow thanks for the tip off.
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