Your Views

Keep your e-mails pouring in, it's good to know that there are lots of you out there with views and opinions.

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Your e-Mails

Loz H	Hello Mr (or is it Ms.) Nicey. A friend of mine pointed out to me one evening, probably over a nice cup of tea and possibly some biscuits, although my memory of this exact event is slightly hazy, that when we were at school, the poor kids used to smell like biscuits. Upon pondering this suggestion one day whilst sitting upon the kharzi, I further recalled that they used to invariably smell of the cheaper variety of biscuit. Custard Creams, and such ilk. Anyway, my question is as follows. Is this phenomenon just localized to Liverpool in the 70s/early 80s, or is it more of a timeless, more national happening? Loz.
	Nicey replies: I've not heard of this socio-economic phenomenon before, so I think it must be localised to Liverpool. Well Liverpool is a major center of Biscuit production in the UK having Jacob's, Horizon and I believe a Burton's factory as well. May be these kids simply lived next to biscuit factories or their parents were employed by them and fed their kids on lots of reject/broken biscuits, as a perk of the job.
Huw Davies	Dear Mr Nicey, As a frequent biscuit and cake consumer, I would like to bring to your attention the anomaly that is the "Water Biscuit". Recently on a trip to my local Tesco's, I came across the "Water Biscuit". Intrigued, I purchased a pack. Upon returning home I sat down and had a cup of tea, and opened the pack. I was amazed, ney, horrified to see that there was no trace of water in the biscuit, or indeed the surrounding packaging. I placed some of the biscuits in a bowl of water, expecting something to happen, i.e the aforementioned biscuit growing to gargantuan proportions, but they only proceeded to get wet and soggy. After inspecting ALL of the ëbiscuitsí in the pack, I came to the conclusion that it must be a faulty pack, I returned them to Tesco's. The Customer Services woman was quite firm in her conviction that water has nothing to do with "water biscuits". I am baffled. What is going on? Yours Faithfully Captain AHAB.
	Nicey replies: Huw, Water biscuits, not only are not made of water but they are crackers, rather than biscuits, and truly nasty ones at that. I could see them fitting in well in some sort of scenario, where Amnesty International would have to get involved. This would be due to peoples basic biscuit eating rights being abused, by having water biscuits offered to them, instead of decent biscuits. Still good biscuit investigation initiative type of thing.
Huw Davies	Dear Mr Nice,   Previous to my last email, I have also become dubious as to the amount of Bourbon that is in Bourbons. This lunch time I consumed a whole packet (cost 74p) in the hope of getting absolutley paraletic. After waiting well over an hour for the affects to manifest themselves, I noticed a small rash develop above my left shoulder.   If you could initiate an investigation as soon as possible, I would be most relieved.   Thank you   Captain AHAB
Alexx	my friend sent me a link to your site and i thought it was extremely wierd and like nothing id ever seen before. i didn't know british people could be like that, you are british aren't you? i couldnt believe you could dedicate almost an entire website to biscuits, tea and crackers. i liked the marmot thing though and the ineffable crab or whatever it was. if you have anymore links to sites like that please send them to me. best wishes, alexx
	Nicey replies: Yes, of course British people can be like that, although more frequently we're like this.
Mutttley	Hello again, As I put down my nice cup of Chinese tea and a half eaten plain chocolate Hob-Nob (don't worry, it'll be eaten by the time I finish writing this), I was reading a couple of letters posted regarding Nasty Biscuits and Flagship biscuits from other nations, and then I realsied that I have come across a biscuit that fits both criteria. Now, I know that I'm and ex-pat living in the US, but I really must say that the OREO is one of the most revolting things I have ever tasted. It's a national icon over here, and I'm probably risking getting lynched for slamming it, but it's been around for ninety years and it bloody tastes like it has!. Two pseudo-chocolate rounds sandwiching an even dodgier tasting creme filling. Simply Revolting! Even Happy Shopper Super Cheap Own Brand Bourbons are infinitely better that them. I mean, look at the colour, the damn things are nearly black! Put one in your mouth and you'll be yearning for a "Nice" biscuit to take away the horrible taste. Don't get me wrong, those fresh Chocolate chip cookies they have over here are actually pretty bloody good (although I'm not sure that they really count as biscuits). I just can't see what everyone likes about Oreos.
	Nicey replies: Hello again, I think the most suspect thing about Oreo's is the eating instructions on the outside, what does that say about the IQ of the intended customers? I have had Oreos and they aren't too exciting. I see that they are covering them in all sorts gloop to make them more appealing like mint fudge. This to seems like an admission of defeat, if they were all right in the first place they wouldn't need to be mucked about with.
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