Your Views

Keep your e-mails pouring in, it's good to know that there are lots of you out there with views and opinions.

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Your e-Mails

Mrs Joyce Hoover	Dear Mr Nicey You might remember that I wrote to you back in June about the matter of embossed names on biscuits and the vital linguistic and cultural support that it gives to the 'challenged' overseas visitors who lodge with me at number 179 Davigdor Road here in Hove. I don't myself own a computer and I penned my thoughts, in the traditional way, on a couple of sheets of deckle-edged Basildon Bond; it was my neighbour, Martyn Ford, who very kindly rendered these into a modern e-mail communication to send to you. Anyway, a few days afterwards, Martyn came round to 'Joyles' in a state of great excitement saying that you had 'published' the letter in your readers' contributions section. He doesn't often get worked up about anything and so I was a bit taken aback by his bulging eyes and the spittle in the corners of his mouth. "Don't you realize, Mrs. Hoover," he said to me, "this is one of the top sites in the country! It gets thousands of hits a day!" I'm afraid my response must have seemed rather lukewarm, but to be honest I had no idea what he was on about. He tried to explain what a website is and what 'hits' are, but I'm afraid my eyes must have glazed over as he soon gave up and we sat in my kitchen together and had a nice cup of Assam and a half-covered milk chocolate digestive each. However, he did ask me if he might be allowed to send you a thing called a J-PEG. I thought it might be something you use to hang dishcloths up to dry, but apparently it is a way of sending a photograph to someone without using an envelope. Martyn wants to send you a picture called 'Mrs Hoover's Teatime Assortment' which he thinks may interest you, owing to the prominence in the foreground of tarts, buns, biscuits and other 'four o'clock fancies'. He also suggested I mention to you that I do an occasional theatrical presentation at the Komedia theatre here in Brighton, called Mrs Hoover Entertains. I was against the idea until he pointed out the important role that tea and biscuits play in my show. And it is indeed true that a lot of time is given over to educating the audiences in the lost arts and etiquette of the traditional English teatime. Moreover (as it is partly a musical entertainment) I include a song composed by myself called 'The Biscuit and Cake Song'. Which goes something like this (could I have an A, please?): Introduction (spoken) The experts tell us cakes are wrong And those who eat them won't live long A cake-free diet we should try But I for one would rather die Why-? Because I like biscuits, I like cake And all the patisseries patissiers make I've had a sweet tooth since I was eight And now I have a sweet dental plate. Jaffa cakes and custard creams I even eat them in my dreams I feed my husband and my lodgers On battenburg and jammie dodgers. CHORUS I like biscuits, I like cake...etc. The doctor says I've put on weight From all the sugary things I ate The Church condemns it as a vice But I don't care, 'cos cake is NICE! CHORUS I like biscuits, I like cake...etc. Someone we should not forget Is good Queen Marie Antoinette She told those peasants: "Eat some cake! And cheer up, for goodness' sake!" She liked biscuits, she liked cake And all the patisseries patissiers make Those boring peasants wanted bread And so Queen Marie lost her head! Well, whatever turns you on But treacle tart and a sticky bun, Victoria sponge, with royal icing And raspberry jam - well, that is MY thing. CHORUS I like biscuits, I like cake...etc. To have your cake and eat it too Is quite a difficult thing to do To have some cake and then to chew it Is easier - why don't we do it!? CHORUS I like biscuits, I like cake...etc. To feed the world and save the planet - It can't be all that difficult, can it? I dream that all men shall be free At 4 o'clock for scones and tea! CHORUS I like biscuits, I like cake, etc. Yours sincerely Joyce Hoover (Mrs) P.S. My next performance at Komedia, Brighton, is on August 19th. The only show in town with free biscuits!
Caitlin Smith	I have a Welsh Granny (they call them 'Nain', pronounced nine, up in the North) and its true about the money. Well, its true that people say it at any rate. Its never worked for me... Has it worked for anyone else? My Welsh Nain also calls weak tea 'monkey pee and camphor'. Has anyone else heard this?
Brian Barratt	Yes, I remember Mazawatee (spelling?) tea in my Nottinghamshire childhood 6 miles from Lincolnshire, in the 1940s. The cannisters bore an artistic painting, which I seem to recall was of a mother and child, but I could be wrong. For some childhood reason, I associated the faces with Maori people of New Zealand.   We had two framed prints on a bedroom wall which I assumed must have been a pre-WWII offer from the same company. Again, I could be wrong.   The tea was still available in the early 1960s when I lived in Kitwe, Zambia, but I haven't seen it since then. Perhaps a Google search might reveal more.   I hope this woolly set of vague memories is useful.   Brian
	Nicey replies: Cheers Brian, I think you have this one solved. A quick Google search turned up this
Richa Mehan	Hi, I am asking for you thoughts on de-caf tea and its quality against normal tea. how much caffeine is in tea in comparison with coffee? Also is lemon tea any good - is it better in a bag or leaves? thanks richa
	Nicey replies: Usually we drink PG, but we are trying Typhoo for change although the Wife's not keen. I liked the Gnu in the old adverts.
Paul Daintry Abbey Crunch Review	Dear Nicey   Delighted to discover your lovely website, and particularly thrilled at the lead status you give to the Abbey Crunch. The Abbey Crunch truly is the prince of bicuits, the most perfect eating experience and an unequaled accompaniment to a cup of tea. It is simply impossible to eat just one and, whilst never having had a wedding morning of my own, I completely empathise with your correspondent's whole-packet-eating experience. The only way to put down a packet of Abbey Crunch is empty. So important has this biscuit been in my life as friend, confidante and sugar-rush that I think of it more as the Abbey Crutch than Crunch.   More power to your elbow, and I look forward to spending more time on your website. Must run now, though - got to top up the pot.
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