Your ViewsKeep your e-mails pouring in, it's good to know that there are lots of you out there with views and opinions. To help you work out what is what, are now little icons to help you see biscuit related themes. And now you can see at a glance which are the most contested subjects via this graph (requires Flash 6.0 plugin). Please keep your mails coming in to nicey@nicecupofteaandasitdown.com | If you like, you can use this search thingy to find stuff that matches with any of the icons you pick, or use the fantastic free text search, Yay! | Your e-Mails |
Hugh Keogh |
The following incident involves incompetence on the part of both man and machine.
A number of years ago a colleague selected his free beverage (white "tea", two "sugars" I believe. Actually I think it was genuine sugar.)
The customary Tardis sounds were forthcoming but no cup. Unfortunately the same cannot be said of the "drink" which started to dribble into the drip-tray. Game over, you might think.
Far from it. Our hapless hero decides that all might not be lost, and cups his unprotected hands beneath the nozzle. The dispensing action is over, and our man is standing there with the look of a slip fielder who has just taken a tricky chance. There is a pause, a scream and the alleged tea is on the floor. Would-be drinker is staring at his glowing hands in disbelief.
The question on most of the spectators' lips in the aftermath was: "What exactly was he planning to do with the tea after catching it? Take it to the burns unit, in case they needed to see the liquid responsible?"
I was forced to point out that no-one in the history of humanity has boiled a kettle, then poured the water into their hands due to cup-shortage. It is, in fact physically impossible, unless someone else does the pouring.
A water-tight case for the prosecution against the villainy of drink vending machines, and a headache for the Health & Safety Executive.
Best regards
Hugh Keogh |
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Biscuit Man |
Just to add some officialese to the "cake or biscuit" query from Sue Resner, Snowballs, Teacakes and Coconut Mallows are legally defined as cakes and not biscuits at all. This means they are zero-rated for VAT, along with our old friend the Jaffa Cake. As you've observed, the clue is in the name. Well it is for Teacakes anyway.
Biscuit Man |
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Gavin Campbell |
Dear Nicey,
Re. 'No matter how much stuff you heap upon it if there is a biscuit inside then it doesn't transmogrify into a cake.'
What about cheesecake? It's stuffed with biscuits (although disappointingly little cheese). Bit of a mystery that one.
Should we call it non-cheese-biscuit instead?
Yours wonderingly,
Gavin Campbell |
Nicey replies: Gavin,
You know as well as me that cheesecake bases are made from smashed up biscuits mixed with butter. This makes them some sort of derivative thing. If it were one enormous digestive baked and then decorated then I would say that there is a very good case for it being seen as a huge biscuit.
Of course our modern idea of cheese cake comes from eastern european migrant Jews whose delicatessen shops gave us the New York Cheesecake, which is based on soft cheeses. However cheesecakes in one form or another date way back before roman times in fact to our earliest agricultural leanings and back then anything culinary that was made into a big lump was called a cake. Biscuits as we know them of course were only really invented in the 19th century. |
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Sue Resner |
My friend and I have been sitting discussing the difference between cakes and biscuits, at much length (because were both on diets!)
Can you tell us if a "Snowball" is a cake or a biscuit...?
Nice website!
Sue & Claire
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Nicey replies: Well it has a biscuit base with elaborate decoration so I would always say that it is a biscuit. I know its tempting to drag in the 'TeaCake' which is of course similar and point to the 'Cake' in its name, but they to are elaborate biscuits. No matter how much stuff you heap upon it if there is a biscuit inside then it doesn't transmogrify into a cake. |
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David Tonge |
Dear Nicey,
Thanks for your speedy reply yesterday. After reading all of the correspondence from the civil service and others on the vexing question of the white bourbon it was clear to me that it would help a lot of
people to get to the bottom of this particular mystery. I decided to go straight to the horse's mouth and write to the customer services people at United Biscuits.
According to the makers it's a Dark Vanilla Cream Finger. I think I preferred it when it was called a White Bourbon but I suppose its nice to know that it tastes of vanilla. I've included the email from McVities below.
Thanks again,
David
"Thank you for your e-mail regarding the above. The biscuit that looks like 2 miniature Hobnobs stuck together with soft brown filling is a Fudge Brownie Cream. The one that looks like bourbon creams but have a white filling is a Dark Vanilla Cream Finger."
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Nicey replies: 'Fudge Brownie Cream' in a Rover tin, its a bit transatlantic for a British institution isn't it, no wonder they kept the name under wraps! I bet they used 'White Bourbon' as its project name when it was in development in secret underground biscuit caves, and all McVities/Crawfords operatives have all had 'Dark Vanilla Cream Finger' drummed into them. |
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