Your ViewsKeep your e-mails pouring in, it's good to know that there are lots of you out there with views and opinions. To help you work out what is what, are now little icons to help you see biscuit related themes. And now you can see at a glance which are the most contested subjects via this graph (requires Flash 6.0 plugin). Please keep your mails coming in to nicey@nicecupofteaandasitdown.com | If you like, you can use this search thingy to find stuff that matches with any of the icons you pick, or use the fantastic free text search, Yay! | Your e-Mails |
Matthew Child |
My Dad recently retired from Trading Standards, where he worked in the labsanalysing the various foodstuffs. Always one for telling me amusing, and often disgusting, tales of what they found he told me the tale of the 'Acid Juice'.
A complaint was received about the orange juice dispensed from several machines in the West Yorkshire area. It seems that the orange juice dissolved the plastic cups it was served in. At first it was assumed to be a joke, but they were obliged to investigate. Phone calls were made and a supply of the concentrate was obtain from one of the customers. It was mixed as per the instructions to the correct strength and poured into several vending machine cups. After 10 minutes they returned to the cups to see what happened. Nothing appeared to be amiss so one of the labs assistants picked up one of the cups only to have the rim come away in his hand leaving the cup behind, neatly severed at the surface level of the juice.
Having proved the OJ was indeed disolving the cups they later found out that there was excess amount of orange oil in the concentrate. Orange oil is often found in heavy duty cleaing fluids and boast superb cleaning properties. Imagine if it dissolve a plastic cup, what is it doing to your insides, Consider that next time you go for the 'healthy option' |
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Jim Fussell |
Nicey,
Found a couple of biscuit games on the web. Very strange concepts and frankly I got lost in the rules of Biscuit Tag after the first sentence. I do like the idea of biscuit medals though...
Biscuit Olympics
Set up a number of fun challenges for a Biscuit Challenge Olympics. You could have biscuit box obstacle course, biscuits and milk relays, long biscuit throws, synchronised eating etc. It can be as weird as you want to be.
Name the teams after the ingredients in the biscuits and make medals from biscuits 'glued' onto liquorice laces with icing so that everyone can eat their prizes.
Biscuit Tag
This is a variation of blob tag. One third of the group are icing and the rest are biscuits. Give those who are icing a cloth or paper label to wear. Two biscuits plus icing make up one cookie. Those who are icing try to tag two biscuits to make a cookie. Once they make a cookie, they try to tag other cookies, but not single biscuits. When everyone is in one blob, they've made a packet of Biscuits. |
Nicey replies: Jim,
Not convinced. I think who ever devised this is probably trying to deal with the guilt of eating too many biscuits by trying to invent 'healthy' sports around them, it all sounds a bit weak. Either that or its the work of bored clean living students attempting to be subversive. Just have your tea biscuits after a nice brisk walk, then continue with the rest of your life. |
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Keith O'Kane |
Dear Nicey and the Wife,
A friend of mine has just paid a visit to Eastern Europe and tells me that on ordering a nice cup of tea in a café, she was presented with a mug of black tea with a separate bottle of lemon juice. Is this common practice in Eastern Europe and, if so, is it a perhaps consequence of European legislation governing milk quotas?
Keith O'Kane |
Nicey replies: Yes I've had the lemon thing happen to me, its quite cruel, as the promise of a proper nice cup of tea is dashed by the appearance of the yellow citrus nonsense. |
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Rebecca Harris |
Our college's vending machine is, like so many of these contraptions, a little temperamental. Undoubtedly this has something to do with the number of indoor Upper Sixth versus Lower Sixth football matches that use its hatch as goal, but it does have moments of entirely surreal behaviour.
It is very original in terms of what it offers, from the sublime 'espressochoc', a truly horrible mixture of coffee and chocolate that seems to take your tongue with it on its way, to the ridiculous 'vegetable drink'- I've never met anyone stupid enough to try that one, so I can't even comment on how it tastes. Unfortunately, it has moments where it seems to take originality to far. Many of us vividly remember the week when instead of coffee/tea/vegetable granules floating on the top of the strange liquid, we got flies. The machine was fixed, and the day after- flies again.
Its most fiendish random moment, however, happened one very cold, very dark morning when our heroine staggered in needing a caffeine boost before a chemistry A-level mock. Striding up to the machine, she put in her coins, pressed the right numbers, and blearily watched the machine going through the motions. It was as the drink sprayed down into the cup that she realised that the plastic cup itself was gradually tilting further and further towards her as the liquid entered it. As she stood there, transfixed by the impending doom, the cup did indeed spill over and throw scalding espresso all over her shoes. There was no reason for the tilting, the cup holder apparently did it all by itself.
As she frantically mopped up, the machine watched with what could only be called a smug smirk on its hatch. Its work was done... |
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Chris Rayment
 Rich Tea Review |
Here at UCE in Birmingham are VERY excited by your report of the World Biscuit Throwing Championships. We have just had a fire drill, and whilst waiting for the OK to return to the building we were discussing the merits of various biscuits and throwing techniques, and our Design and Technology department are now considering setting the creation of a biscuit throwing machine as a project for our students, possibly something on the lines of those machines that pop tennis balls over the net for the likes of Tim Henman to practice with.
We are concerned about the possibility of doping at the championships – does tea, with its caffeine content, count as an illegal substance, or are there allowable limits? We need to know, tea and biccies are a serious matter!
We are going to Asda at lunchtime to buy a packet of Rich Tea and a packet of Ginger Nuts (some staff think they are more suitable for throwing than Rich Tea) and try them out in the local park.
Chris Rayment |
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