||Maybe this is why vending machine coffee tastes awful……|
1. CLICK ON THE LINK
2. MOVE YOUR POINTER TO THE COIN SLOT, & PUT THE COIN IN THE VENDING MACHINE
3. CLICK ON A BUTTON TO CHOOSE YOUR DRINK
4. CLICK ON THE CUP WHEN IT IS READY.
5. AND LAST... CLICK ON THE WORD "APRI"
ENJOY! Don't forget to click on "APRI"
|Nicey replies: I'm not sure if I feel closer to the Italians or somehow distanced by that. Mind you its been a long time since I had a vending machine cup of coffee.
Malted Milk Review
I'd just like to put a word in for the Chocolate Malted Milk. Biscuit to the Gods. The only problem with them though is the wrapping. To open it you have to pull the tab which is at least 5 or 6 biscuits down the pack. This forces one to eat all the biscuits above that line and 4 more below to gain an adequate seal with the wrapping for stowage in my biccie tin. Not that it stays in the tin for long. If they ever make it there at all. Thats reserved for the wifeys 'Lincolns'. A biscuit so dreadful that I find it quite absurd that someone went to all that trouble to make a rubbish biscuit.
Thank you for the articles on kettles. Please can you warn people to not heat their cold tea in the microwave. You may, like I did, leave the spoon in. Oh, The horror....
|POST CTI Technical Support Team
||Dear Mr Nicey,|
Inspired by your web site we have been busy rating a selection of doughnuts which can be enjoyed whilst having a nice cup of tea and a sit down. Our scientific analysis has helped us to avoid the disappointment of having a nice cup of tea and a sit down ruined by an under achieving doughnut. We would like to share our results with you and your readers.
Our team of highly qualified doughnut technicians have studiously evaluated each offering from the leading doughnut retailers, grading their experiences against a pre-defined set of criteria. We have used these results to determine the best doughnut overall and the best value for money doughnut. The winners of each category are as follows:
2004 Best Doughnut: Marks and Spencer
2004 Best Value for Money Doughnut: Morrisons (Pack of 5)
We expect the results to spark furious debate and we are quite prepared to re-evaluate any doughnuts if required (except Alldays).
POST CTI Technical Support Team
|Retailer||Date||Price (£)||Packaging||Jam Content||Jam Quality||Appearance||Coating Quality||Texture||Average||Total||Comments|
|Sainsbury's (Box of 10)||20/7/04||0.099||7||4||5||6||6||4||5.3||323.2||More bang for your buck|
|Tesco Metro (Bag of 5)||7/7/04||0.116||8||5||5||6||6||6||6.0||310.3||Gobsmacked.|
|Asda (Bag of 5)||8/7/04||0.112||7||4||4||4||5||4||4.7||250.0||Wow.|
|Safeway (Supermarket)||1/7/04||0.1475||4||5||6||6||4||7||5.3||216.9||Focussed on doughnut not packaging resulting in a first-class experience.|
|Safeway (Bag of 10)||29/9/04||0.099||5||3||3||4||3||3||3.5||212.1||Average|
|Marks & Spencer||18/6/04||0.25||9||10||8||7||8||9||8.5||204.0||Sets the standard. Well done.|
|Safeway (Garage)||16/7/04||0.1475||5||3||3||4||4||3||3.7||149.2||Let down.|
|Waitrose||15/6/04||0.2425||6||3||5||7||4||8||5.5||136.1||Needs twice as much Jam. Premium price for an average doughnut.|
|Tesco Metro (loose)||30/6/04||0.3||1||3||4||3||1||4||2.7||53.3||Disappointing.|
|Mary Rose Bakery (Alldays)||21/7/04||0.345||2||2||1||3||2||2||2.0||34.8||Shocking|
|Nicey replies: This is outstanding work of the highest level, we all owe you a debt of thanks.|
||Hi Nicey and tribe,|
Perhaps one could point out to Mr. McGregor the number of people with nut allergies these days, and how dangerous they are. Presumably there are people with sugar and salt allergies. Let’s face it, what’s good for the goose is not always good for the gander, so lets not start preaching on ‘my lifestyle is better than yours’.
|Nicey replies: Absolutely. I thought it would make an terrific futile gesture to put up an anti-biscuit message on the site, given that we virtually never get them. Plus its no secret that Jonathan Ross loves biscuits, its obvious really.|
Lidl's Choco Softies Review
Well, I've been eating these for nearly 50 years!
The Dickmann quite rightly used to/is still called Negerkuss or Mohrenkopf (Negro's head), not very PC!
They used to be (and in some places are still) freshly made by bakers; sometimes you see them with a sprinkling of coconut on the chocolate. And you can get them with white chocolate and milk chocolate. But the proper ones have a dark chocolate covering, and are big.
When I was a kid in Germany they were not for eating but we'd squash them into some unsuspecting victim's face. All German kids love them.
When I first moved to the UK you could not buy them here, and one year my sister took pity and posted a box to me - unfortunately this was in the pre-bubble wrap days. I'll admit that I was so desperate that I used a teaspoon to scrape the remains out of the box. Sad or what?!
The proper way to eat them is to carefully peel off the chocolate covering, eat that first, and then slowly eat the white stuff. The wafer is just a "tray" and can be discarded.
But they are definitely not to be eaten with a cup of tea! Best eaten on your own, the whole box. Guten Appetit !
|Nicey replies: Yes I had understood that they changed the name. It sounds like a very similar operation to eating a chocolate teacake.