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Mr Hands here. Despite feeling it necessary to tell you about my last sit down of epic proportions, the three hour munchathon I finished last night really took the biscuit. All 20 of them.
I am currently working in California and so I have had the chance to sample many cookies (very big biscuits) such as Mrs Fields. However, my girlfriend found a shop called Trader Joe's yesterday and she managed to find what can only be described as a loaf of cookies on the "star buy" rack.
Strangely, on the same day, I managed to come accross a small shop in the middle of nowhere that sold British goods. I came out of there with several varieties of Mr Kipling cakes including some quite intriguing mini-battenburgs.
The tea, biscuit and cake onslaught that occurred last night will be remembered as a milestone in my relationship with my girlfriend as there was a moment that occurred at about the time that she was trying to eat a jaffa cake in one side of her mouth and a mini-battenberg in the other and seeing if she could let tea pass between them without any of the flavours mixing that I honestly thought that I could spend the rest of my life with this woman.
In short, the most important and remembarable sit down of my life, and the missus and I are already planning our next one, where we hope to include some home-made Rice-Krispie cakes and a generous helping of Abbey Crunch.
Have you had unexplainable emotions occur over tea drinking and biscuit munching? I just want to know if I am the only one.
P.S I just want to say Happy Birthday to my sister Jenny. We had a cup of tea on your behalf last night!
|Nicey replies: Mr Hands,
Glad to hear that you are helping our American cousins appreciate the finer things in life. That's a lot of heavy cake action your indulging in there, but as it's between consenting adults that will probably be all right. Just be sure that you respect each others limits when experimenting with multiple cake techniques.
Some of the finest cups of tea I have had have been made on the tops of mountains on a meths stove fighting off sheep, who are trying to eat my digestives. A somewhat different experience to that of yours last night but both are valid.
Yes and Happy Birthday to Miss Hands.
||hello nice cup of tea|
such a well informed site will no doubt be aware of the Inland Revenue classifi'cake'tion of the Jaffa Cake into the biccy or cake camp... but if not, I'd heard that the following test was applied:
biscuits left out on the sideboard go soggy after a few days
cakes left out on the sideboard go hard after a few days
jaffa cakes go hard
thus, they are cakes
|Nicey replies: Yes we are aware of that line of reasoning. The problem is that Cake is considered a staple foodstuff and does not attract VAT, whilst biscuits are considered a luxury item, and as such are subject to VAT. McVities are keen for Jaffa Cakes to be seen as cake, and calling them Jaffa CAKES and making the bottom out of sponge wasn't enough of a clue. The Irish inland revenue decided it was a cake due to its moisture content being above 12%, (see the cake link at the top) Apparently UK the Judge needed more convincing so McVities made him a special 12 inch wide Jaffa cake, which he scoffed down with a pot of tea and then ruled it was a cake, Hoorah.
The goverment alas want the ruling over turned as its got chocolate on top and looks like a luxury item to them and the want to slap VAT on it.
Did you guys go on "Skinner and Baddiel (sp) unplanned" the other week? Someone in the audience asked them if a Jaffa Cake was a biscuit or a cake... and then got very passionate when Frank Skinner decided it was a cake!
I immediately thought of your site, of course, and wondered if it was indeed you? Or just a fellow biscuit devotee?
|Nicey replies: Wasn't me but Frank made the right call.|
Especially the 29p for 40 variety e.g. Happy Shopper. Dipped in tea, the filling melts a bit, allowing slurpy goo fun. Then when the tea is drunk, there may be a choc sludge at the bottom.
Or split them down the middle, allowing the licking of the cream, or even the removal intact of the cream, much like the orangey-bit-ectomy performed on Jaffa Cakes.
|Nicey replies: Ace. Advanced biscuit eating skills, I think a special page might be in order,
As you say:
Smashing Orangey bit ectomy
Total Bourbon disassembly.
Total Custard Cream disassembly.
Cow-ectomy, malted milk.
Fig roll crust removal.
Chocolate Marshmallow upper choc depletion.