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I was reviewing the biscuit review archive today, and I was shocked to note that there was no review for the lemon puff biscuit. Is this a terrible oversight? Can it be that lemon puffs have escaped attention? Or worse, can it be that they have been deliberately overlooked as unworthy of the attentions of any serious biscuit enthusiast? I realise that biscuits in this context are considered principally as an addendum to a nice cup of tea or coffee, and that some may consider the lemon puff to be too childish and unsophisticated a confection to be worthy of a review, but I am inclined to disagree. I must ponder this matter further....
|Nicey replies: Chris,
I'm afraid your darkest fears have been realised. We tried to review them on two separate occaisions but gave up as the latter day Lemon Puffs were so ropey that we just couldn't go through with it. They are covered in the book however, in the section on biscuits that I can't cope with along with the Pink Wafer.
Caxton Pink'n'Whites Review
|My mother used to make a lovely cake using big round wafer biscuits (Oblaten) sandwiched together with hazelnut chocolate cream, and covered with caramel. It was only about 1 1/2" high, but was it good! She had to stop making this when the local Polish delicatessen closed down and Oblaten disappeared with it. This is the best use I know of wafer biscuits except for the good old ice cream wafer that inevitably squidges out of the sides all round and drips on your blouse.|
PS I would defend pink wafers to my last breath, and any other colour for that matter. However, Pink and Whites are another matter. Cardboard filled with foam rubber, and completely tasteless. I quite like the jam ones because of the jam, though.
|Nicey replies: Good for you sticking up for all those poor little Pink Wafers.|
|I've been discussing this subject recently, maybe you have already covered it, I'm not sure. I couldn't find it on your website, so maybe not.|
Anyway, my colleagues and I got into a discussion about wafers. i.e. when is a chocolate wafer a chocolate bar and where does it sit in relation to your Venn diagram.
Firstly, you call a Kit Kat a chocolate covered biscuit. I would tend to agree. In your book you include it with the wafers. But then is a Tunnock a wafer or a chocolate covered wafer? Its individually wrapped, but mainly wafer with a bit of caramel and a thin chocolate coating - or am I splitting hairs? The pink wafer is clearly a wafer, the triangular-things-that-taste-like-cardboard-but-make-a- suitable- support- for -globs- of -ice- cream, are clearly wafers. Tunnocks - my colleague states - is a chocolate bar. Surely, its a chocolate covered wafer!
However, it's also available in the shops individually which would tend to move it towards the chocolate bar definition. No Mars bar certainly, but going in that direction, and because it has caramel in there as well, its more confectionary than say a Kit Kat which only has wafer and chocolate. Conversely, you refer to the Kit Kat as a chocolate covered biscuit, in the States they call it a wafer, but then again it is available individually wrapped as well. On top of all this there is the chocolate waffle - is this the missing link between the Tunnock and the Kit Kat? Its sort of wafery on the outside, but with caramel (or chocolate) inside.
Can you confirm the relationship between a Tunnock, the Kit Kat and the chocolate waffle - and define the evolutionary family each one belongs to.
|Nicey replies: Mike,
The Tunnocks is a biscuit, the Kit Kat might be a biscuit and the Chocolate Waffle isn't although it would probably like to be.
As a family man can you please help out an expectant father? In order to keep his wife happy in her current, interesting, condition he needs a supply of wafer biscuits filled with orange cream. We've found the Tunnock's Florida ones in your reviews, but the ones he needs are chocolate free.
The biscuit experts on the team haven't been much help, so we are turning to you, the biscuit meister.
|Nicey replies: Very tricky Sue as you know Orange Cream is a difficult thing to find in most biscuits, but take chocolate out of the equation its like hens teeth.
OP just down the road from you do an uncovered Lemon Wafer as their nearest.
Not sure if a trip to France to retrive La Paile D'Or would find an Orange version, I don't recall one and LU's websites are woeful so I can't tell from there.
I only had to go on one quest for food for Wifey, which involved digging up a stray and rather gnarled spinach plant that had established itself in the front garden and presenting it to her on toast. Relatively easy in comparison to this task.
||Dear Mr Nicey|
I have been enjoying a nasty cup of tea (office drinks machine) and a sit down while perusing your fine site. I happened upon the pink wafer controversy and it reminded me of a rather surprising tale. The memsahib's great-aunt, an inveterate hoarder, died a couple of years ago and off the little woman went with her mother and sister to help clear out the house. Much memorabilia was found, classified and disposed of to relatives or the local orphanage, among it an envelope marked in immaculate copper-plate handwriting, "biscuit brought back by Cecil [the aunt's sister] from Buckingham Palace garden party, 1954".
Well, nestling limply in the papery bosom of the envelope was...a pink wafer! I have seen said wafer with my own eyes and can swear to its pinkness. I was surprised less by the aunt's keeping of a biscuit for 50 years (I had early in my relationship with the memsahib been ambushed by her father into eating a Carlsbad plum of similar vintage and the same provenance) as by the fact that at a social event of such high cachet the biscuity entertainments could stretch no further than what I have always considered the cheapest and nastiest of biscuits.
Perhaps the answer lies in postwar austerity and sugar rationing?
|Nicey replies: It's also a bit scary that it was still pink after 50 years in an envelope. I expect the Queen opened up a few hundred tins of Rover assortment, hence the Pink Wafers. Although it does make you wonder what became of all the biscuit tins?|