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||On reviewing the recent emails we came across Tim Porters one regarding our new game - biscuit persona. In Tims email he reviewed our colleagues persona and his own ambitions in this respect. We thought that Tim might truly benefit from our view (an independent one) of his persona. Much research and discussion has taken place amongst the office team to ensure a fair and truthful result and we feel this is as true a likeness as possible.|
THE PINK WAFER
An attractive and perfectly manicured biscuit on the outside admired by men and women alike. A tendency to be a bit flaky and lightweight and ever so slightly artificial with not really enough texture to satisfy a real appetite - in fact always guaranteed to leave you wanting more. The promise of a pink wafer is always more than you actually get although when you see one your always fancy it. Whilst once extremely fashionable and hip they are still an old favourite.
Whats your view on this Nicey?
Christine (Tim's Colleague)
|Nicey replies: Well not wanting to besmirch Tim's character, I have always though of the Pink Wafer as cheap, nasty and having a strange and unpleasant odor.|
|Charlotte and Jake Resuggan
||Both my husband and myself are potty about the pink wafer. Having read the various comments about them (some of which were negative?!) We decided we had to write in and defend the humble pink one. Both of us remember tea and pink wafers with grandparents, in fact, they were a real treat. |
For me, it sums up perfect, snuggly mornings with my granddad and Nanna. Me and my sister would scoff pink biscuits to our hearts' content - mum wouldn't let us have them! We loved them; I used to eat them layer by layer.
For my husband it also brings back grandparent memories. He used to eat them while watching The Pink Panther on t.v with his Gran and Gramp.
So, down with all you pink-wafer-biscuit-haters and vive le pink wafer!
||While browsing your site (reached from the BBC) I started thinking about|
a pink thin rectangular biscuit, which I think had a kind of hatched pattern
on it. It was my favourite dunker, although held too long in a nice cup of
tea (like most biscuits) it would dissolve away to leave a splodge of sugary
goodness as the bottom. I just can't remember the name of this
finger of delight. - I wander if you could help?.
Keep up the good work, the biscuit of the week list was excellent and it
a lot of childhood biscuit eating memories (I don't eat them these days).
James Dyer (27 yrs old).
|Nicey replies: James,
That's a Pink Wafer. We'll leave it there.
I was just having a sit down at my pc, albeit without a nice cup of tea or any biscuits (soon to be remedied), when something struck me. Do my eyes decieve me or is there actually no reveiw for pink waifers? I'm aware that they are an emotive subject, but the hate has gone on too
long. I think a reveiw from both sides should be included, for deeper understanding of each other and then maybe the killing can stop. Also I would like to see reveiws of different types of tea and possibly an objective review of the 'nice' biscuit (good for dunking, surely?)
One last thing, is it acceptable to occaisionally say 'biccie-teer' rather than biscuiteer, or does it implie that somehow the biscuits are sad?
|Nicey replies: Mark,
Thank you for that thoughtful and well meaning email. Alas we have a stack of review biscuits which should keep us going for at least the next couple of months so don't hold your breath waiting for a pink wafer or nice biscuit review. That is my stated excuse for the moment.
As for what biscuit eaters call themselves that is a matter for their own conscience. Personally I don't think that it particularly needs a name. However, people who don't partake in biscuits tea and sit downs probably do deserve a term, 'biscuits and tea total'? Oh dear.
I was discussing with a colleague the other day just which biscuits are most appropriate for which social occasion.
For example, when one has friends round to watch the football, we think the standard digestive should suffice.
When entertaining friends for a dinner party, when a smart/casual dress sense is required, we would go for a bourbon.
Thirdly, when one actually hires a place out, be it for a dinner party, wedding reception, or whatever, we would be inclined to go for shortbread.
Is there a hard and fast rule when it comes to biscuits? And which other biscuits go best with the
social occasions i have described above?
|Nicey replies: Greg,
There are no hard and fast rules about the choice of biscuits for any given occasion. However, it is perfectly possible to choose biscuits well or in poor taste depending on the elegance of the occasion.
I would agree with your first choice and would also add such things as Malted Milk, Fruit shortcake, and possibly some All Butter biscuits, depending the numbers present. At such an informal gathering of friends it may be nice to try out a new biscuit and so almost anything could turn up.
As for a dinner party I would be minded to chocolate Hobnobs plain and milk. Something decadent like a McVities Boaster could so easily form the center piece of a culinary evening. Serving Iced Gems at such an occasion, however, would almost certainly end up with you being ostracised by your own dinner guests.
As for a hired out venue one would always expect to see double layered biscuits and as such the jam and cream sandwich, which would probably head up a plate that includes the custard cream and possibly the bourbon. At such an occasion it would be bad taste to serve up wafers or anything in a branded wrapper such as a Penguin.