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Mr Hands here. Despite feeling it necessary to tell you about my last sit down of epic proportions, the three hour munchathon I finished last night really took the biscuit. All 20 of them.
I am currently working in California and so I have had the chance to sample many cookies (very big biscuits) such as Mrs Fields. However, my girlfriend found a shop called Trader Joe's yesterday and she managed to find what can only be described as a loaf of cookies on the "star buy" rack.
Strangely, on the same day, I managed to come accross a small shop in the middle of nowhere that sold British goods. I came out of there with several varieties of Mr Kipling cakes including some quite intriguing mini-battenburgs.
The tea, biscuit and cake onslaught that occurred last night will be remembered as a milestone in my relationship with my girlfriend as there was a moment that occurred at about the time that she was trying to eat a jaffa cake in one side of her mouth and a mini-battenberg in the other and seeing if she could let tea pass between them without any of the flavours mixing that I honestly thought that I could spend the rest of my life with this woman.
In short, the most important and remembarable sit down of my life, and the missus and I are already planning our next one, where we hope to include some home-made Rice-Krispie cakes and a generous helping of Abbey Crunch.
Have you had unexplainable emotions occur over tea drinking and biscuit munching? I just want to know if I am the only one.
P.S I just want to say Happy Birthday to my sister Jenny. We had a cup of tea on your behalf last night!
|Nicey replies: Mr Hands,
Glad to hear that you are helping our American cousins appreciate the finer things in life. That's a lot of heavy cake action your indulging in there, but as it's between consenting adults that will probably be all right. Just be sure that you respect each others limits when experimenting with multiple cake techniques.
Some of the finest cups of tea I have had have been made on the tops of mountains on a meths stove fighting off sheep, who are trying to eat my digestives. A somewhat different experience to that of yours last night but both are valid.
Yes and Happy Birthday to Miss Hands.
I feel it is my solemn duty to point out to you that Simmers do indeed make many more biscuits than the humble Abernethy (note spelling).
They are responsible for some rather good coconut biscuits and the frankly disgusting butter biscuit, which is like a huge rich tea with no added sugar. My particular favourite is the mini oatcake with cheese (a cracker I know, but worthy of a mention) which they seem to have stopped making. The range is vast and could give you many more hours of reviewing pleasure.
I know this because I worked in the Hatton factory (not Edinburgh -rural Aberdeenshire) when I was a student. The equivalent of a biscuit lover's holiday, my days involved rubbing bits of shortbread together to take off the sharp edges (probably to avoid lawsuits from Americans who slice their tongues off on them) and feeding little gypsy cream type biscuits into a machine that stuck them together. My rent was paid in bargain, slightly misshapen biscuits that year. Halcyon days...
Unfortunately I have heard rumours that the factory could be closing. What is to become of the Abernethy then?
By the way. We here in the capital city of the EU love your website and we promise not to do anything that will make it conform to a European standard....
Keep up the good work,
|Nicey replies: Dear Mr K Info
Thank you for putting me right on my dodgy spelling, and for revealing the other biscuits made by Simmers, I have made amendments as appropriate.
Maybe via the power of the interweb we can create a mini sales boom for the Abernethy that will give them a boost.
Glad to hear that we can remain gloriously non-standard, that's what we like.
Am I hallucinating? I claim that about five years (possibly more) ago it used to be possible to sit down with a nice cup of tea and enjoy a biscuit known as the Lemon Crunch Cream made by those fine biscuiteers known as Fox. This delightful little tart of a biscuit was extremely satisfying, I remember with particular fondness the surprising way the lemon would hit your tongue a few seconds before the sugary deliciousness of the biscuit followed. (if consuming it via the prise apart & remove filling method also employed by keen bourbon eaters). However my chums claim I am confusing it with a lemon puff. To prove a point they provided me with a nice cup of tea, some where comfy to sit down and presented me with a pack of lemon puffs. The lemon puff was nothing more than two crackers (crackers) filled with what presumably tastes like the stuff they use to treat athletes foot! So I need a decision, Am I remembering some kind of biscuit type dream, or are my chums just jealous that they missed this particular taste sensation and seeking to ruin my treasured memory?
|Nicey replies: I don't recall the Lemon Crunch Cream but I can well imagine one and they sound nice. You certainly would not get confused with the Lemon puff because they are horrid, and are my third most disliked biscuit after the Nice and the Pink Wafer. Maybe one of our other visitors has experience with the Lemon Crunch Cream.|
||Hello again Mr Nicey,|
I have to agree with Loz's email about poor children smelling of biscuits. I remember some of the children at Porth Comp smelling like they were rubbing themselves with all manner of biscuits before they un-tucked their shirts, messed up their hair, put their trainers on (Pan-Am) and came to school.
This has to be a global ocurrence.
|Biscuit Enthusiast Mandy
||Nicey, having read the letter on your feedback page, I felt compelled to respond. I can categorically state that this was not localized to Liverpool, I also remember the very same "cheaper type biscuit aroma" surrounding the poorer kids at my school. So, the phenomena obviously did spread, at least to Bar Hill around the same era! Maybe Bar Hill at that time was a migrating point for the poor custard cream misshapen biscuit fed Liverpudlians?|