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|Dear biscuit lovers,|
When was the last time you had a penguin? Although the flavour is the same that is not my concern. They have removed the joke from the wrapper! This is an outrage, this is part of the tradition of eating a penguin- reading out the crap joke. Yes I said crap, of course the jokes are crap, they are below the level of Christmas cracker jokes! but they are one of the things in life we thought was sacred,reliable,dependable-not any more. They have replaced the "joke" with gems like this"Make your penguin last longer .......use only your tongue to eat it" What is that? I refuse to eat another penguin until this matter is rectified. I have banned penguins from the house....yes that is how strongly I feel about it. I am thinking about starting a campaign on this subject and I know that everybody out! there who has any of that old "we shall stand and fight for your rights" rebelious streak left in them, will join me in this cause. We will storm the gates of Mcvities and demand to see the King penguin. Resistance will be futile. The penguin "joke will be returned at all costs, Governments may fall, country,s may crumble but we will succeed. So come on stand up and make yourself heard shout from the rooftops "Mcvitie return our ditty even although they were shitty"
Jeff the pengiun protecter.
|Nicey replies: Actually I thought the jokes were a fairly recent innovation. I remember Penguins when they came in proper foil paper wrappers red, green or blue, that was it. The entertainment lay in choosing the colour you liked most.|
Kathryn Hall's description of the Irish 'Mikado' seems to indicate a biscuit identical in all relevant faculties to an Australian classic, viz. the Arnott's 'Iced VoVo'. As a recent immigrant myself I have only recently become aware of the folkloric position in Australian biscuit culture of the same and remain ignorant of their provenance. Perhaps they were smuggled in by some Irish people planning a party, then escaped and became naturalised?
|Nicey replies: Interesting theory, maybe all the native species of marshmallow topped biscuits were driven to extinction by the introduced tea time treat. |
Tim Tam vs Penguin Review
I am outraged by the sickeningly bias result of your biscuit test it is obvious that just becase you are a pommy loving basterd you gave any compliment at all to McVities (McSpities) crappy imitation of the legendary arnotts Tim-Tam. Being a former Australian now living in Manchester I have tasted both the Tim-Tam and Penguin on many occations and I could say under oath that the only thing remotely good is the cheap (and nasty) price of the imposer.
From Ben McElduff.
p.s. There are many other varieties of tim-tam such as caremel, double chocolate and white chocolate and all of these are completely superior to any type of penguin.
Can't remember if this has been mentioned before but it is so important it pays to be sure. I found out the other day where the word "Biscuit" derives from. It was in a pub quiz which is obviously a great source of vital and accurate information...hmmm. Anyway it is derived from the term "Baked Twice" as in Bi - meaning two and Cuit - from the French verb Cuire, which is to cook. Maybe you could confirm the accuracy of my drunken pub quiz.
|Nicey replies: Yep, that is all correct. Originally biscuits were baked twice, as a way of preserving them to make stuff like 'hard tack' which is what sailors would eat. The second baking was really a slow drying process. Sailors often broke their teeth on hard tack, which if kept dry would also even deter weevils and the like.
Actually we have been reviewing some particullary hard Ginger Nuts this week, and one of my gold fillings has worked loose, so I'm off to the dentist tomorrow. The dangers of being a biscuit reviewer..
Perhaps you'd care to try the following if ever in a similar dietary predicament to Ley and teatime is looming. The flour used is a ratio of 4:1:1 White Rice, Tapioca, Potato
4oz Golden Caster sugar (Billingtons) 4oz dairy Free Marg ("Pure" organic) 2 large egg yolks 7oz gf Flour mix 1oz cocoa powder 1 dessertspoon Xanthan gum 1 tsp gf baking powder 2 tsp Vanilla extract ˝ bar Green & Blacks cooking chocolate
Beat the sugar, marg & vanilla till light and fluffy, beat egg yolks and stir in, sift in the dry ingredients and stir until well combined. Fit a medium star nozzle on a meringue bag and pipe small rosettes (about an inch in width) on to a well greased baking sheet.
Bake for 20 mins gas mk 4/180c.
Lift carefully onto a cooling rack with a spatula, these are quite fragile at first but will firm up when cold. Melt the chocolate in a basin over hot (not boiling) water and then dip the base of each ?kiss? into the chocolate and place up ended onto greaseproof paper to set.
Naturally these can be made with wheatflour, just omit the Xanthan gum.
|Nicey replies: Fantastic, a great service for all the biscuit challenged of the world|