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Fig Roll Review
I appeared today on Jason manfords show for the dunk off challenge with my gingernut. Which I know is a biscuit. However, Rob came along with his Fig Roll – and won. Please do not think that I am a poor looser. I have been looking into The Fig Roll and it would seem, that, it is pastry and not biscuit, the tester being that when a biscuit goes off it goes soft and a pastry goes hard and like Jaffa Cakes they are cake and not biscuit as the pastry goes off and goes hard as do fig biscuits.
I would like to know your opinion on this and I’m sure Jason will raise it with you tomorrow when you are on the show.
|Nicey replies: Sara,
Right first off I'm not sure what the biscuits are being subjected to, but if its just a straight forward see how long they can be dunked for then that's fairly meaningless. I can think of a two biscuits that could be immersed in boiling hot tea and shrug it off as if it had never happened, but I'll keep that to myself until I've been on the show.
As for the stale thing we have to debunk that on a regular basis, as it is riddled with exceptions. Indeed the preceding message I've just posted about the Irish Kimberley shows that they have to go stale rendering them hard before non Irish people trust them. It won't do to be sniping at the Fig Roll and trying to make out that it's not a biscuit but is a cake that somehow took a wrong turn and ended up in a biscuit packet. It's actually the filling of the fig roll that gives it a resilience against the hot tea rather than its pastry outer. Feel free to debate the nature of the Fig Roll at length but be aware that French have one that starts off crunchy and goes soft when stale, which we covered in our FigFest.
As for ginger nuts I think that was a good plan, If you had gone in with a Griffins one from New Zealand you might have won.
Kimberley and Chocolate Kimberley Review
What can I say, the Kimberley, best biscuit in the world EVER! However, I am a purist and do not agree with the chocolate variety at all. If it aint broke, don't fix it etc. Chocolate Kimberley used only be available at Christmas. I vividly recall a "trolleys at dawn" episode in my local supermarket many years ago trying to get the last tin of them one Christmas Eve morning. I have a sister who lived in London for many years and every time she came home my mum purchased the Kimberley for her - the rest of us didn't deserve them at any other time! Happy memories of all 6 of us being together again around the kitchen table, cups of tea and Kimberley. God, I've got a goo on me now for a pack, must buy some on the way home! I have actually found one friend in Yorkshire who also loves Kimberley but she does have Irish ancestry so it could be that she's inherited the gene. Whenever I brought some back to England with me when I lived there, nobody else touched them.....until they were stale! Strange.....
I thought as I read your book that there was one glaring omission and that was Farley's Rusks. Having only a vague memory of eating them as a ten year old by stealing, quite literally, from my baby brother I purchased a pack.
They have a strange flavour and texture but I feel are definately biscuits that need to be included. More so than crackers.
Thanks for everything!
|Nicey replies: My friend in Primary School used to get a Farleys Rusk every day after school. He was a bit unhinged and used to bury all his toys in the garden, digging them up when he wanted to play with them. He also used to do a very good impression of his cat running fast in fluorescent lighting, which created a sort of stroboscopic effect with its legs. He could pretty well replicate this charging about on all fours on the school playing field. For this and a few other reasons, the strange taste you mention being another, I have always viewed rusks as something best left to infancy.
None the less you are right that they are an important proto-biscuit and probably deserve a proper review, which they have just avoided on a few occasions.
||Dear Nicey, |
I think tea is wonderful and can cure many ills, a subject not to be taken either lightly or here at the moment. What I would like to relate is a great mystery. We recently had a biscuit from a vending machine, I appreciate that individually wrapped biscuits may miss the target a little as a biscuit but it is worth remembering that they have a description on the wrapper, are usually of a decent size and are often well up the "nice" scale. These were I think called "Gold" made by Terry's! and resembled a long, thin club with a plain biscuit centre. They were very good but have resisted every effort to be located elsewhere. I am beginning to think we may have wandered of into a distant ethos when we found them, although the place was called Glossop and it was during August this year. Any other sighting been reported?
Yours, very nicely thank you
|Nicey replies: There is a Gold bar made by McVities but I'm sure that's already been ruled out.|
Malted Milk Review
Right here goes..at my workplace, we pride ourselves on an epic brew with at least 6 moo bics “malted milk” each.
As of late there has been a harsh decrease in stocks. Asda in all surrounding towns have sold out, the spa down the road doesn’t even do it and my local supermarket has some ridiculous caricature cow biscuits that should be made illegal in 47 states!
It’s not on and I’m having to make do with rocky robin chocolate bars which are no substitute for moo bics. We are a 20 strong team here and feel betrayed by the government.
|Nicey replies: That is indeed troubling news, as Asda are usually a sure bet for Malted Milks. The Elks Malted Milks with the irreverent portrayals of Malted Milk cows are I feel undignified. One reader of the site carefully emailed me on two occasions with pictures of the afore mentioned biscuits, which I chose to overlook due to their demeaning of the classical form.
Sainsburys are usually a good bet too for Malted Milks.