Keep your e-mails pouring in, it's good to know that there are lots of you out there with views and opinions.
To help you work out what is what, are now little icons to help you see biscuit related themes. And now you can see at a glance which are the most contested subjects via this graph (requires Flash 6.0 plugin).
Please keep your mails coming in to email@example.com
If you like, you can use this search thingy to find stuff that matches with any of the icons you pick, or use the fantastic free text search, Yay!
A few years ago a colleague and I had a very tricky "personal work mug" problem to deal with. Our boss - a corpulent, red-faced man with a perpetual sweaty sheen, a surprising number of carnivorous teeth and porky fingers would occasionally use our personal mugs. As it only happened every few months, none of us wanted to risk making a scene. We already had enough to deal with, keeping him away from our personal biscuit supplies. He actually used to rummage through our drawers (I mean our desk drawers, naturally) looking for biscuits - even while we were there - then he would help himself to them, talking and laughing with his mouth full and spraying us in the crumbs OF OUR OWN biscuits. Sometimes he also grabbed hold of our telephones and dribbled crumbs into them too while barking orders to someone in another department. I hate to think how many cocktail sticks we used to get through in a week, prizing them all out of the perforations.
We tackled the mug problem in two ways. I took inspiration from my dear old Auntie Dorothy's tea cups and purchased a selection of three of the most unappetising old-ladyish lipsticks I could find in puce, orange and raspberry. At the end of the day, I would wash my mug, but then - and this is the important bit - I would apply each of the lipsticks in turn and imprint highly visible, slightly smeared lip-prints around the circumference of the mug (this works best on a light-coloured mug). My friend felt she needed a different ploy. She obtained some yellow food colouring which she would mix with half an inch of water and leave in the mug each night. She also hit upon the excellent idea of standing a medium-sized paint brush in the liquid before replacing the mug in the back of the cupboard. Eventually, a yellow stain ring appeared at the bottom of the mug and she was able to dispense with the food colouring altogether, simply pouring in water to level of the stain mark.
The biscuit problem proved inexorable. We tried embedding sweetex tablets in the jaffa cakes and wrapping long hairs around the middle layer of custard creams, but were perplexed to note how little this appeared to bother him.
|The inventor of the Hob Nob is my favourite chap,|
His crunchy, choccy, bicky put McVities on the map.
I love them with my morning tea,
So does my better half.
As we dunk our Hob Nobs,
We tend to have a laugh.
Nice ! Is inadequate, to sum up how we feel.
We'd have to say "unbeatable" , "our favourite mini meal."
From where the name of "Hob Nob" came, we sadly do not know.
But somehow it encapsulates that magic biscuit so!
So let's raise a mug of Earl Grey Tea
To that McVitie chap
Who's sudden inspiration,
Put Hob Nobs in our lap.
Aged 40 1/2
|Nicey replies: Well done.
And congratulations on your massively long email footer, it's lovely isn't it.
I'm from Essex and have never heard about tea money before. My Dad would sometimes pour the tea from high above the teacup, joking that it was "high tea". This made lots of bubbles, but never made me rich - maybe it doesn't work if you make the bubbles deliberately.
||Ok Nicey, the Shrewsburys are in my possession.|
They are presented in a cardboard tray which bears 15 biscuits totalling 200g. They boast to be "hand baked" which is obviously a false claim, noone has hands that hot, so I rather think they mean hand made. The company producing them is Farmhouse Biscuits Ltd. of Lancashire. They produce a vast array of interestingly named biscuits and the web site actually has an online biscuit shop so no more problems of availability. Unfortunately it appears not to be working at this precise moment. Great news for dunkers too. The Shrewsbury will hold a lot of tea yet somehow keep it's crisp texture. I timed a 20 second dunk with no biscuit residue released into my cuppa. Website is here hopefully this will be useful for the ncotaasd Shrewsbury fans.
I need help...well not me specifically, but my wife. This is how she likes her tea: Water in cup, then tea bag dipped in for no more than three dunks and then removed. Then add milk. It looks like a cup of hot watered down skimmed milk. Admittedly it's cheap 'cos I can use the same tea bag, seeing as it's barely even seen boiling water, to make a proper cup of tea. Her father calls it
'peeley-walley tea'. She also refuses to drink the last few sips of tea insisting she's finished when there is still some left in the bottom of the cup. I have seen this behaviour before with real tea but for goodness sake not with a teabag! Have you ever heard of such tea-nonsense before and how could I cure her of such insanity? She does like a nice sit down and a biscuit though so not
all is bad.
|Nicey replies: Well if she likes her tea that way then you are probably stuffed as far as getting her to drink sensible tea. However leaving perfectly good tea (excepting the above) at the bottom of the cup is quite annoying. Perhaps you'll have to up her biscuit to tea ratio this should make her drink the last valuable little bit. You could also try a smaller cup/mug again making the bit at the bottom a more attractive prospect.