Tunnocks Florida Orange
Thursday 18 May 2006
	I've wanted to get my mitts on a pack of Tunnock's Florida Orange ever since I spotted them on their excellently retro website. Next to the rest of Tunnock's gloriously mature range these look like iPod Nanos resting up against Nanny Nicey's circa 1978 Sony Music Center with its enormous great perspex lid that used to inflict nasty injuries by crashing down on the back of your hand when trying to put on Boomtown Rats singles. In those days the quality of a music center was gauged not by its sound but by how slowly it ejected cassettes. Actually in the case of the teacake I'd like to up that to my Nan's old Dancette Record Player that used hurl its needle from a dizzying height on to our precious vinyl like somebody trying to knock a chisel trough a wall. My Dad used to keep his Black and Decker drill in the cast-off case of an old Dancette, I know, get on with it Nicey! So what are we dealing with here? Well imagine we took a standard issue Tunnocks Caramel Wafer and swapped the Caramel for Orange cream. There you have it. But with all orangey biscuits there one simple and burning issue, exactly how orangey is it? Perhaps the best and typically evasive answer would be "very orangey if oranges tasted like this". A quick glance at the ingredients reveals the tools employed by the canny Scots bakers, glucose, citric acid and flavouring. This gives an orange flavour that is somewhere between Tangerine Tic Tac and Orange glucose energy sweets (can you still get those in Boots?). As for a genuine Orange from Florida, not really. Still as somebody who eats the Orange Tic Tacs before the Green ones I was perfectly happy, and found the whole combination to work in Tunnocks usual un-fussy and beguiling way. It would be remiss of me not to point to the hydrogenated vegetable oil in the ingredients, and hopefully biscuit boffins at Tunnocks can work to replace these with non trans-fat laden alternatives. The use of modern looking shiny metallic flow pack might not have the charm of the classic wafer wrapper, but it does a good job of keeping in that orange zing. It's also interesting to see this Tunnocks covered in French as well as English, indeed the Tunnocks site is now bilingual. There also appears to Arabic on the wrapper too, so Hoorah for Tunnock's export market.

McVities Moments
Wednesday 10 May 2006
	The 'moment' is a hotly pursued phenomena by the giants of tea time. PG Tips have made it integral to their current advertising campaign, reminding us that we all need a PG Moment and even choosing that as their website's domain name pgmoment.com. Now McVities have made their big play for the moment by creating a range of indulgent biscuits simply called Moments. They are not taking any chances as they have registered it as a trade mark. Just to make sure they are on the right track they also interviewed a nearly a bus load of busy mums to find out when exactly their moment fell in the day. Oh all right I won't leave you in suspense any longer it's 9:27am. With study group as large as a bus queue who can argue with that outcome? Well with out seeing the error bars none of us. Also not wanting for a minute to provoke the wrath of busy Mums, surely they must have a lady who does come in and do all the washing, breakfast dishes and hoovering if they can get their feet up before 9:30. To quote McVites "The findings came from new research carried out by McVitie’s and psychologist Dr Aric Sigman who monitored a cross-section of British mums to see how their daily patterns varied. The new time was calculated by looking at the average time that Mums can first take a break following the morning rush of getting the kids ready, doing the school run and dealing with household chores." Personally Wifey and I usually like a round of toast and another cuppa at 9:12 am which allows us to get to at least 10:35 am before we start on the biscuits, but then we may just be old fashioned. Still the story did get a mention on Have I got News for you. So what are McVities proposing would be a good thing to top breakfast off with? Belgian chocolate in various formats of course. I think if their bus load of ladies could have at least made it past ten o'clock before feeling the need to pile into the biscuits it might have come across a bit better. The pack immediately sets about building an atmosphere of boat pushing out-ness. Brushed gold coloured lettering and details are slightly raised above deep blues. The image of the little pile of biscuits has a small handful of whatever strewn in front of it, lumps of chocolate, toffee, raisins and hazelnuts depending on the biscuit. We are also told on the pack that the biscuits are mouth watering and perfect for when you want a relaxing moment to yourself. Don't under estimate that last bit, we are in the land of single figures as far as biscuit numbers are concerned. Most packs had nine and the Chocolate Fruit and Nut Caramel Shortbreads had only six biscuits. Such figures could turn the most generous and gregarious soul into a solitary biscuit hoarder. So are they worthy of our undivided attention. I'll have to play my 'I don't think they're aimed it me' card here, as I could take or leave them. Now I know I have made my views plain in the past on chocolate excess especially with some of Fox's more notable Creations, but in this case its not really a chocolate overkill thing. Of the three we tried the half dozen Chocolate Fruit and Nut Caramel Shortbreads had the most appeal evoking memories of vintage chocolate bars with obviously fruit, nuts, caramel, chocolate and shortbread. The decorative Chocolate Viennese Melt (pictured top) failed to, whilst the impressively sculptural Chocolate Toffee Crunch (middle piccy) wasn't that memorable taste wise. As I say I'm probably not the ideal candidate for a pack of these. Once again we must note the complete lack of trans-fats with butter oil turning up in most recipes, so well done McVities. However, I did spend my personal moment wondering exactly what is meant by the term 'Belgian' chocolate.

Girl Scout Cookies
Tuesday 11 Apr 2006
	I joined the the scouts aged 15, thus missing out cubs and scouts and going straight into the Venture scouts. At this age you basically get to go on camping weekends with your friends, girlfriends or boyfriends, where you can start fires and smash stuff up with big axes and hammers whilst cooking rudimentary curries in big metal pots. Lots of billycans of tea and digestive biscuits were also a feature of scouting as far as I could tell as well as trips to various public houses for crisps and lemonade probably. Wifey was a Venture scout too, persuing her own similar agenda on the other side of the Irish sea. So we really have to hand it to the Americans this time, as they have come up with a way to combine biscuits with scouting, and in typical land of opportunity way use it as a means of making cash. First off a huge thanks to Monkey at himonkey.net for sending over the Girl Scout cookies. Anybody who has checked out Monkey's site will see that food is probably Monkey's specialist subject. So when the Thin Mints turned up I was very happy indeed as I had been informed by other Americans that this is one of the finest biscuits in the Girl Scouts repertoire. Monkey also popped in a pack of Samosas which are apparently celebrating their 30th anniversary. So whilst to Americans the idea of Girl Scouts forming some sort of nationwide biscuit distribution chain might seem like a slice of pure down home good ol' something or other, to the rest of the world its a bit weird. Obviously we need to look into this a bit. There is a lot of history involved in Girl Scout Cookies, a registered trademark just in case you were thinking of making your own. Obviously that's how they started out in the early years of the twentieth century, a home baked cookie sold to raise funds for local community Girl Scout groups across the USA. In the 1930's the Girl Scout movement had licensed commercial bakeries to produce the biscuits and by the 1940s nearly 30 bakeries across the country were making the cookies. The cookies were still sold door to door with the profits going to the Scouts. The 1970s saw a rationalistion of the range with the number of bakeries dropping to 4 and standard packs being used across all manufacturers. Today there are just two bakeries licensed to produce these historic biscuits, ABC/Interbake and Little Brownie, ours came from Little Brownie. The Thin Mint has been a mainstay of the range since 1951, and since then has been on the mandatory list of cookies that must be baked by any of the licensed bakeries. So what is it like? Quite small at about 30mm diameter and 6mm deep, a sandwich of two thin layers of cocoa biscuit with a fine layer of mint chocolate cream between. The whole biscuit is wrapped in a thin layer of dark chocolate like substance. My first impression of the Thin Mint was that it was generally OK, no better no worse. I managed to see off three or four, which the pack tells me constitutes a 'serving'. They don't have that really overt American taste probably due to the non-appearence of corn-syrup in the recipe, but it did suffer mostly from the 'chocolate' being a mixture of hydrogenated fat, sugar, cocoa and caramel colouring. If it had to appear with some of the other great mint and chocolate biscuits from around the world such as Mint Viscount or Mint Slice it might well embarrass itself. No doubt if it is what you are used to then you would be in a state of shock if real chocolate were to ever find its way in there, as has happened with our own Wagonwheel. The Girl Scouts do now have two non trans fat biscuits, it would be great if they could sort out their Thin Mints, maybe by reverting to a 1950's recipe perhaps. The Samosa was the more junior of the two and being covered in toasted coconut I was already regarding it suspiciously. A complicated and fiddly little number, it consists of a ring of quite spongy biscuit, the bottom of which has been dipped in that chocolate stuff again, then the rest has been covered with toffee caramel much of which has come to rest in a gutter that circles the biscuits top face. Toasted coconut has then been chucked over it to stick to the caramel and finally a few more stripes of the chocolate stuff dribbled on top. I was some what galled to find I liked them. In fact I had to force myself to stop eating them. It's fairly obvious to me now why Girl Scout Cookies are still going strong after all these years. Most children that knock on the door of NCOTAASD HQ are in heavy disguise and after sweets in return for not carrying out an unspecified act of vandalism. Failling that they return a month later after money for singing two lines of 'We wish you a merry Christmas'. If they were to turn up all business like selling rare and intriguing biscuits then I'm fairly sure they would fleece me for most of our loose cash.