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Thin Arrowroot Review
On the subject of Rich Tea Fingers, I should like to mention the idea of Biscuit As Medicine.
I suffer from migraines and when I get one, I can't bear the thought of eating. That is with the exception of the Rich Tea Finger. The trick is to nibble the whole biscuit at once resulting in a mouthful of crumbs (a favoured technique of mine especially with Digestives and Abernethys).
Somehow this produces a foodstuff that is both palatable and non-nausea-inducing, and I usually feel better after eating a few with a couple of sips of tea. For this reason, in our household Rich Tea Fingers are known as "poorly biscuits" and there is usually an unopened packet in stock, "just in case".
I was once struck down with a migraine whilst holidaying alone in Paris. Having no companion to send out for aid, and not knowing where else to go in the city, I walked like a zombie for several miles to Marks and Spencers, where my treasured medicine was purchased for a small fortune. It was worth every painful step and every centime as I felt almost instantly better upon opening that packet of Rich Tea Fingers!
The Round Rich Tea simply doesn't work. I don't think the taste or texture is as good, and the shape of the finger is better for nibbling. My Granny used to speak of the medicinal properties of the Arrowroot (your site has touched on this already), but for me it's the Rich Tea Finger ever time. Sainsbury's for preference.
|Nicey replies: I think your tale of Rich Tea fingers touches on the paranormal.|
After checking out your extensive biscuit reviews I was left with the feeling that you have only been trying the better quality biscuits that are available on the market and ignoring the whole range of biscuits. In addition all of your reveiws seemed to be positive (apart from the 'nice' biscuits, which was the basis for a game me and my mates used to play, of
which more later). I strongly recommend you start reviewing some of the less aparently palatable biscuits such as;
Crawfords Thin Arrowroot biscuits (These are the worst fucking biscuits in
the world, pardon my french. The world needs to know!)
McVities Rich Tea (What an ommission from your review!) (ok these are quite
Iced Shorties (no doubt full of chemicals)
Blue Riband Wafers (stick these on a plate next to some club biscuits and
see which ones are left at the end!)
Carrs Table Water biscuits
Penguins (Although basically a chocolate covered bourbon, this is a massive
You also seem to focus on sweet biscuits and not on savoury ones such as 'Cheddars'.
Some sort of rating out of 10 may be an option as well, to those of us looking to expand our biscuit horizons. Otherwise a truly tremendous website, keep up the good work!
Now for the game I mentioned earlier.
THE NICE CHALLANGE
For responsible people only!
This is basically a version of the how many crackers can you fit in your mouth without swallowing. However the gammy consistency and relatively small size of biscuit makes for some high scores. The fact that they are covered in razor sharp fragments of sugar which really cut your mouth and tongue up makes for an element of danger. After some extensive research, we decided that the nice biscuit if perfect for this game because it is not too dry (rich tea, morning coffee), not too big (digestive), cheap (generic versions are available, I find the co-op or kwik save do the cheapest and nastiest ones) and most improtantly not very tasty (so that they don't get eaten by eleminated players, any chocy biscuits are bad for this game as they are too nice and the melting chocholate lubricates the mouth).
Remember all biscuits must go in whole and one at a time.
Any score over 5 is doing well, it is harder than you think!
Good luck and don't choke please (anyone who chokes doing this is on their
|Nicey replies: Thank you for that mammoth email, I assume you must be engaged in some form of higher education to be able to bring so much time and thought to a particular subject.
I like your idea for nasty biscuit reviews, I think they can be very amusing. I was sent a terrific one not so long ago but the author could bring himself to go back and get some more for a photo. If people would like to send them in thats fine. Personally I have lots of lovely biscuits to work my way through before I get to the nasty ones, or the fringe players such as Cheddars.
Your Nice biscuit game sounds dangerous and foolhardy, someone could easily be hurt or mentally damaged from such massive exposure to such tatty biscuits.
Firstly, what a lovely site. The idea of measuring things in "bourbons" and "kilobourbons" made me laugh out loud :)
Anyway, I have an important question; one that I think only you can answer.
*drum roll* How do you pronounce "Nice" when referring to that particular type of biscuit. On your site, you seem to be of the opinion it is "Nice" as in "not nasty"; with an "eye" sound in the middle, as you often mention how they are not actually "Nice" at all.
However, I have heard many people pronounce it as if it rhymed with "fleece"; like the town "Nice", in France.
Can you please clear up this matter as it has been bothering me for many years. I often find all conversation during a nice cup of tea and a sit down comes to a complete halt as soon as the "Nice" biscuits come out, and descends into argument.
Yours in hope of a final answer
|Nicey replies: Its pronounced "NICE". Hope that clears it up for you.|
||At school at the moment we're doing an investigation on biscuit dunking, and we're testing Nice biscuits, Shortcake biscuits and Malted Milks. Your site is really useful, because i managed to find pictures of two of the biscuits there, but please please please can you put on a picture of a nice biscuit? Even though they are pretty vile biscuits! I need the picture and i can't find one anywhere else on the net!!!|
|Nicey replies: I'm afraid I'm not prepared to take a picture of the nice biscuit even to help your school project. You will need to undertake this potentially hazardous task your self using some form of digital camera. Alternately you could probably bung one under a scanner and try that. If people can scan cats then I'm sure a biscuit should work..|