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||Dear Nicey and Wifey, |
writing on behalf of the worlds most Northerly custard appreciation society (Longyearbyen, Svalbard (Norway) 78 degrees North), I'd just like to say well done for promoting the year of custard! At work we have all been very concerned with grant applications for next year's 'International Polar Year' (IPY) but at home we have been busy making and eating custard as our contribution to this year's YoC. Not an easy feat given that supplies of custard powder have to be flown in and milk is often unavailable in the shop for weeks at a time! Yum yum, think I might sneak off home early and devour lashings of the stuff...
Lis Cooper, custard lover in exile
|Nicey replies: Hello Lis,
What a lovely part of the world, your webcam makes it look particularly inviting. Glad to hear you are having plenty of hot puddings at such high latitudes that seems very sensible.
Weston's Wagon Wheels Review
|Not really very exciting for you I guess, but my mother enjoyed your book which I bought for her last year so much that she felt inspired to send me this email on her return from Australia!|
"Proof that your book is right - Ozzie wagon wheels are much bigger than ours! Thought you might like to know that.
Love - Mum"
|Nicey replies: Actually very exciting, as we haven't seen an Australian Wagon Wheel since they were taken over by Arnotts. Also well laid out graphic international biscuit comparisons are always, always interesting and informative. Well done to your Mum for sharing that with us all.
We fitted Nanny Nicey up with a digital camera this Christmas and whilst she did take lots of fine pictures on our recent high altitude French biscuit hunt, she did manage to take this one of some bins, because she thought they were unusual.
||Hi Nicey & Wifey|
It's fantastic to at last see a focus on one of the roots of our great culture, custard.
I for one suffer at the hands of a wife who is neither interested in:
and who has sought to indoctrinate the children in the ways of 'salad' and 'organic vegetables' and eschews the cornerstones of what I consider to be the point of eating, biscuits and custard.
I have however been stealthily making proper powder custard when the wife is away and feeding it to the children. With cake, and biscuits, and pie.
Personally I am currently veering heavily into chocolate cake made with Green & Blacks, liberally covered in warm custard, and mixed up a bit so it goes super gooey. This is a triumph, as I personally have to make the cake myself and the children help me by licking the bowl, spoons etc and then stuffing as much down their faces as possible. Any 'slops' that fall on the floor are immediately handled by our Border Collie, who becomes stealthy and ninja-like when the cake process is underway, darting from under the table as soon as a 'splat' is heard.
My wife has many other fantastic qualities, and one should not condemn for a lack of interest in tea, biscuits, custard and chocolate and cake.
However, as she has a degree in Philosophy, I am attempting to convince her that her position is Absurdist, but she simply implies that she doesn't like it and that fact leads to Existentialist Tension running through the household, which is to be welcomed.
Personally, I am not convinced. I just want biscuits, cake and custard.
|Nicey replies: Hoorah for you, the kids and the dog!
We also eat lots of salad and organic vegetables (we get a big box delivered every Thursday morning). Wifey too is not fussed on custard which we see as a positive advantage as it means more for the younger members of staff and me. She very sensibly slopes off at pudding time leaving us to it, whilst she marauds around the internet sorting it out.
Mind you Wifey has taught herself how to make cakes now which she is extremely proud of.
Cooking proper puddings with your kids is something you should be proud of too, and your too Wife even if she's not keen on them.
exemplary review of the once-great Breakaway. However, I'm somewhat surprised that you neglected the red-jacketed plain chocolate breakaway. Same look, but a red wrapper and plain chocolate, which meant they were only eaten when the milk chocolate ones ran out. These hardy specimens could congregate quite happily in the arse of a schoolbag for months. I don't know if Caramac breakaways only existed in Ireland (clearly the biscuit Shangri-La), but they were revolting. replace the choc with a layer of Caramac and you get the picture. Dis-gus-ting, and the wrappers were the colour of vomit as well.
Amazing how the mention of Uniteds spurred hitherto forgotten memories. They were fab. The biscuit bit was really crap, bland and crumbly and dry as hell, but the honeycomb bits made it all worthwhile. And the chocolate was admirably thick. As a bloke who clearly appreciates the merits of oranges, you'll be delighted to know that they also came in orange flavour, which basically substituted the honeycomb bits for orange flavoured honeycomb bits. They were a bit spesh by any standards; I must have eaten hundreds of them when I were a nipper.
South East Asian Multireview Review
Your mention of biscuits for thrill seekers reminds me of the time several years ago when I bought a packet of durian wafers from an oriental store in Amsterdam. The durian, highly popular in South-East Asia where it is known as the King of Fruits, has an odour variously described by Westerners as fermenting onions, unwashed socks or over-ripe sewage and is allegedly banned by many hotels and airlines in the area. The fruit is supposed to be an acquired taste. I can't imagine anyone acquiring a taste for the biscuits as one bite was enough. I can't describe it exactly, but I seem to remember strong overtones of garlic. The fact that this was probably an artificial durian flavouring didn't help. It was back to the syrup waffles again after that.
|Nicey replies: Good grief, the South East Asian biscuits we endured that tasted of Tomato, Melon and Yam were bad enough.