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||Dear Nicey & Co, |
regarding your "How to eat a Jaffa Cake" poll, I'd like to bring to your attention another couple of variations.
As a family, we greatly enjoy aping the advert where a scandinavian teacher takes a bite then holds up the jaffa saying "half moon", then stuffs in the remainder and mumbles "total eclipse", complete with cheesy swedish-chef-type accents and crumb-spitting. Giggles all round every time.
The little ones love those 'Limited Edition' Berry Burst flavour Jaffas (forgive my ignorance, but have you reviewed them?). With the standard ones, they tend to skilfully nibble away everything but the tangy orange jelly, which is a wee bit too tart for them, then leave the orange blob lying around somewhere inconvenient.
Mark of Swavesey
|Nicey replies: Next time we pass through Swavesey we'll look out for all the smashing orangy bits in the middle scattered around. Actually last time we were there we bought some nice Pain-aux-raisins off a French market stall.|
I would like to propose a fifth method of eating Jaffa Cakes which, like all great scientific breakthroughs, is the product of an accident. I purchased a 15 capacity cardboard tube of Jaffas for energy sustenance during a sporting event, but unfortunately the Jaffas all melted together in the heat. Although it was initially quite difficult to winkle out the congealed Jaffas, eventually I was rewarded with a double decker effect of in some cases, four Jaffas stuck together. It probably added an extra 10 minutes to my triathlon time, but was well worth it for the resultant delicious Jaffa gateaux. I now recreate the effect in my office by leaving the tube next to my window. As a production method this technique produces a variable number of decks, but I think this just adds to the excitement of it all. Eating anything more than a six decker is just unnecessary showing off
||Dear Nicey & Wifey,|
I've made a rather stunning discovery this morning. I'm sitting here with a cup of tea and a packet of… wait for it... 24 Tesco Value Jaffa Cakes. Now that in itself is a disturbing paradox for any biscuit lover. How can you combine the concept of no frills with an indisputable champion amongst biscuits/cakes/whatever they are? It would be like Stelios announcing a new low-cost limousine franchise called EasyRolls. In my defence I should point out that the comestibles in question were left over from a 5th birthday party at the weekend, and I'm sure any of your readers can forgive that. Five year olds wouldn't recognise a quality biscuit if it bit them on the a**e. It's all about volume at that age.
Anyway, I digress. The point is: they're really quite good. There's the same key non-standard issue as any shop-brand Jaffa Cakes (slightly brittle base rather than the cakey spongeyness of the real thing), but other than that, they're sound. I've conducted my study in all the standard ways:
- Entire JC inserted into mouth in one go.
- JC bitten clean through the middle and consumed in two halves.
- JC bent down at the edges so the chocolate erupts to reveal bulging, gleaming orangy bit, then all three components broken apart and eaten separately.
- Edges bitten off all round, then remaining chocolate disk removed with fingernails and consumed, then remaining sponge/orange tartlet placed on tongue until sponge disintegrates, then orangy bit sucked until it dissolves.
After all that I still think I would struggle to tell the difference between them and Tesco premium Jaffa Cakes… apart from (pats back pocket of jeans in pound-saving style) when I look in my wallet. Say what you like about Tesco, they obviously know how to produce fine quality own-brand imitations at a very reasonable price.
|Nicey replies: Mark,
Thanks for that round up of Jaffa eating techniques I feel a poll coming on.
Just thought I'd tell you about the tea and sit down facilities at the Glastonbury festival (which I was lucky enough to attend this year). There are many more opportunities at Glastonbury to find a decent cup of tea than at any other festival that I've been to. The best one is the 'Tiny Tea Tent'. For £1.10 & 50p mug deposit you get the choice of 'normal' tea, Earl Grey, Lapsang Souchong etc, with a tea bag each and real milk out of a jug. This is a very busy place, probably due to the high caliber of tea making, but somehow a seat is always available, thus completing the tea break experience. Also, they have a varied collection of mugs - I was lucky enough to get one with a picture of a Volkswagen Beetle on it (my favourite car - spooky).
There's nothing quite like a cup of tea and a sit down in the Green Fields of Glastonbury whilst watching a vampire with dreadlocks on stilts chasing a child dressed as a fairy.
Wishing you good tea and festival health
|Nicey replies: On Saturday we met the former Tory Defense Minister John Nott, whilst we were guests on Radio 4's Loose Ends. He had just got back from Glastonbury the day before where he had managed to blag his way in. The Portacabin which held his press ticket had been washed away in the flooding, and given that he is 71 the chap on the gate believed his story.
It also turns out he had a hand in the introduction of VAT and remembers the classification of the Jaffa Cake as one of the thorny issues they grappled with over thirty years ago.
The current poll reminded me of an incident a while ago when I woke up, a bit fuzzy headed after a night out, to discover a half-eaten jaffa cake which had been liberally spread with butter by the side of my bed. I dread to think how many I'd consumed, and until now was appalled at such behaviour, prompted as it must have been by the feeling that jaffa cakes did not have enough fat in them already. I'm pleased to see there are people out there who behave like this as a matter of course.
|Nicey replies: I'm more worried that you only managed to half eat a Jaffa Cake, you must have been in a right old state.|