Keep your e-mails pouring in, it's good to know that there are lots of you out there with views and opinions.
To help you work out what is what, are now little icons to help you see biscuit related themes. And now you can see at a glance which are the most contested subjects via this graph (requires Flash 6.0 plugin).
Please keep your mails coming in to email@example.com
If you like, you can use this search thingy to find stuff that matches with any of the icons you pick, or use the fantastic free text search, Yay!
Tunnocks Wafer Review
I love Tunnocks wafers but never seem to buy them. I also know of no-one who buys them. If 4 million are sold every week then who the hell is buying them? Maybe manufacturers of budget washing powders are buying them in bulk and adding them to their powder in order to give poor kids the smell we all know and hate.....just a thought.
|Nicey replies: Well spotted Jim. We wondered about this very paradox previously, and assumed that it was the Scottish themselves, of which there are over 5,000,000. So they would be able to take of them all if they only ate one each a week.
Maybe somebody Scottish could provide estimates of how many Tunnocks wafers and by what proportion of the population are eaten. We could the do the sums and estimate how much of their weekly production they send down south.
It has also been pointed out that the Scottish apparently enjoy a higher standard of health care, maybe this helps certain individuals cope with massive intakes of Tunnocks wafers, who may responsible for mopping up hundreds of thousands of them. We don't know this is pure speculation.
|Alan (Fred) Pipes
Glad you enjoyed your Welsh mini-break -- did you get to sample any laver
bread? Talking of which, I must throw my hat into the ring vis-a-vis Soreen
Malt Loaf -- there is only one 'tea bread' -- don't accept a substitute.
Despite abandoning their waxed paper wrapper yonks ago, Soreen is still the best! And even better toasted with a knob of butter (none of this
new-fangled Benecol rubbish)!!!
All this talk of antiques led me to delve into several of my semi-active tea
caddies and re-examine my tea spoons, two of which I have photographed for your edification.
|Nicey replies: (Fred),
Thanks for that fantastic picture of tea caddy spoons.
Malt loaf is splendid stuff indeed, there was a two for one offer on Soreen Malt loaves in Iceland last year which resulted in a great many of them being scoffed. It also gave us the freedom to experiment with cutting them length ways.
Didn't sample any laver bread, not near enough to the coast. Llanelli market is the place for that sort of seaweed technology.
Take heed from these wise words!
"Resolve to be a master of change rather than a victim of change."
Many biscuit loving people would love to be in your position, you have a gift. What other man could hold and captivate the ear of a biscuit lover? No politician or monarch, or even religious leader could claim to be first and foremost a biscuit ambassador. You have demonstrated and communicated to the everyday person your bond with the biscuit and yet, on this occasion I feel that your grief and heartache, at the demise of the biscuit related receptacle has clouded, nay overcome your judgement.
As Jesse Jackson, a long time biscuit lover once said:
"Tears will get you sympathy; sweat will get you change."
No-one has ever said that having a nicecupofteaandasitdown would be easy? Modern life is geared towards change and progress, both bitter enemies to the barrel lover, I can tell you! Like it or not we are faced with a problem. At the current rate of decline the biscuit barrel has become the most endangered of household items. It has overtaken even the most anachronistic of everyday items, such as the tea strainer (often found in period dramas and daytime programmes such as Bargain hunt (see local listings for details)), to become the number one article of decline.
Environmental factors are partly to blame, the kitchen environment is changing. The tasteful brown barrel, which used to go so well with the brown tiles (with the leaf relief on them) is an abhorrence in the chrome and Ikea 21st Century kitchens. Brown tiles have made way for funky MDF Designs pioneered by such angels of destruction as Linda Barker. As a result many barrels are barren, empty vessels consigned to the back of some silver painted cupboard, along with the lemon juicer and the salad spinner .These factors have caused barrels to decline ten fold in the latter part of the 1980's (*W.H.O. report 1994) . If the exponential decrease of the barrels continues, the last barrel to exist will be melted down (to provide metal reserves for the mass production of the newly re-discovered and highly fashionable tea strainer) on the 27 April 2013.
This does not have to be.
Resolve to be a master of change. Set the production lines! Produce a new biscuit tin of startling and revolutionary design, that still fulfils the vital function of a traditional biscuit vesicle. Use your design skills and your position to woo the general public to again embrace and covet the biscuit tin. It can be done. You are the one to do it. Soon everyone will want a bite of the biscuit and new tins will appear everywhere. Linda (slag to fashion) Barker will be obliged to extol the virtues of "this realllly funky biscuit tin thingy" and it would all be because of you.
P.S. My current tin is showing signs of age. Dents have started accumulating and the crumbs are fossilising at an alarming rate. I believe it to be Roman as it shows a map of Londinium, the Latin word for London (as I'm sure you know) so time is of the essence. Help me nicey, you're my only hope!
||Hello again Nicey,|
Sorry to besiege you, but I just remembered something else from my distant childhood in Newark(-on-Trent). Born in 1936, I had hand-me-down clothes and things from my much older brethren and cistern, who were born in the 1920s. One of these things was a Huntley & Palmer penny-in-the-slot biscuit machine.
It was made of pressed tin, as so many toys were. You were supposed to stack biscuits in it, put the lid on, place a penny in the slot, pull the little drawer, and behold, a biscuit! During the War (for young viewers, under 40, that's the Second World War), we couldn't get Huntley & Palmer's biscuits, and no others would fit the machine, so I could never use it.
Aaaah, POOR little lad! No, never mind all that. What I want to know is: Does anyone else remember this intriguing thing? Look, I've drawn a little picture of it for you. The shape is probably about right but the decoration is invented. Well, I CAN'T REMEMBER, can I?
|Bob in Tokyo
Fig Roll Review
|Dear Mr. Nicey, I stumbled across your "site" moments ago when I did a "google" search for Lyons Fig Rolls, and I discovered the "internet" does indeed have a useful function for those inclined to a "modern" lifestyle. That the correspondent from Niigata found said fig rolls in her local supermarket is astounding, as the best I have ever been able to locate in Tokyo (my domicile for the past decade) has been the Jacobs "closed end" variety. I am heartened by the news. My chidhood favourite (and still now, come to think of it) was the open-ended, non-striated-casing type (by Burtons, was it not?) since these lent themselves best to "peeling" or "nibbling" of the casing before plunging into the lushious, fragrant core. Oh my!.....did anyone else get a cerebral rush like I just did? Eleanor might be pleased to know that if there is a branch of the Daimaru "Peacock" supermarket chain in Niigata she should be able to get Waitrose organic "Oaten" biscuits (a classic, fibre-rich, buttery, oat-crunch type - and a damn fine dunker!) along with a few other Waitrose top-end biscuit varieties and other British products (HP sauce, Original and Fruity!) hard to get at a reasonable price in Japan.|
Anyway, I digress. My reason for this contribution is the query from Brian about Grantham gingerbread biscuits, a memory from his childhood in Newark on Trent. I can assure everyone in the biscuit-concerned world that this variety of biscuit is alive and well, and exactly, and delicious, as described. My mum used to make them (God bless her - she sends me Marks 'n' Sparks Extra Strong to keep me functional). Being Manchester folk, I'm not sure where she got the recipe, or even if it's actually an East-Midlands thing, despite the name. If it is, it's surely the best thing ever to come out of Grantham (oops...should I have said that?). I'll post the recipe as soon as I can get it from Mum.
Other matters (1): Taylor's Yorkshire for "a crucial hit" - life affirming on a hungover morning. And, does Co-op "99", an old favourite of mine, still exist?
Other matters (2): It would be useful to have a contribution date for each correspondence or article on the "site". I have qualms, occasionally, about being out of date.
Cheerio, Bob in Tokyo.
P.S. Returning to fig rolls....open-ended, smooth casing is the best. I defy you to disagree.
|Nicey replies: Bob,
It gives me a warm feeling to know that we are helping people across the world to locate proper biscuits. Hoorah, for the wonder of the interweb.
Your point about the contribution date is a good one, I'll see what I can do.
As to fig roll preferences, I think I nailed my colours to the mast in the original review.