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We have a China Metallurgical Equipment Corporation Liquid Dispensing Machine Mark IIV in our place of work. It is excellent. It can “down” a wide variety of airborne targets traveling in excess of Mach 1 at ranges of up to 20km, using a on-board computerized tracking and targeting system integrated with a powerful radar. Since the management purchased the machine we have been responsible for the loss of several BMI, BA and Ryan Air flights, and have contributed no small amount towards the Air Defence of the nearby NSA base. EasyJet have openly admitted to altering all internal UK flight routes to avoid our locale, and we are steadily getting more and more used having no ceiling in the kitchen, and of course the slight noise/smoke/visual “impression” which is left on the working day each time the Mark IIV detects and launches against a “incoming target”.
Still haven`t got close enough to the machine to try the tea, coffee or hot choc unfortunately, but perhaps when it runs out of missiles I`ll give it a go.
|Nicey replies: Hoorah, it sounds quite timid compared to most vending machines.
Tim Tam vs Penguin Review
I am wondering whether you have any idea of the cruelty you regularly inflict on lovers of the best biscuits in the world - Tim Tams?
This cruelty lies in the fact that in every packet there is a prime number of biscuits - 11 - divisible only by itself.
This means that unless one is a lone biscuit eater ( and I don't think even I could eat a whole packet ) you, Arnotts ensure either a total fall-out amongst a group gathered together to partake of said Tim Tams, or at least one disgruntled person ( cries of "unfair" are heard ). It is, after all, a well known fact that a packet of Tim Tams must be consumed at one sitting.
I beg you to rectify this sorry situation by putting 12 biscuits in your packets in future. In this way, when 2, 3, 4 or 6 are gathered together, peace will reign supreme.
|Nicey replies: No don't mind me you just have a go at Arnotts.|
||Thought you might like to know that the man at the animal rescue centre told me to feed my 4 baby hedgehogs Pedigree Chum, and as a little treat.... digestive biscuits. He was very insistent that the dog food was Pedigree Chum 'it's what they prefer madam', but was unable to advise on the type of digestives, so they are getting Tescos own and lumping it. However if anyone out there knows better. Whilst on the subject of hedgehogs ON NO ACCOUNT GIVE THEM BREAD AND MILK IT KILLS THEM. |
|Nicey replies: That's lovely.
Its very impressive that bread and milk kills them. Do you know if other combinations of baked and dairy products do for them, say yogurt and croissants or just a cheese sandwich? I suppose it would be cruel to try to get to the bottom of that one.
||Oh dear oh dear oh dear...|
I've been following the mug debate here with interest and found that over the colour of the mug something quite decisive about teamug quality has been entirely forgotten: the SHAPE!
It is vitally important for tea mugs to be either slanting inwards towards the top or, at the very least, straight and not too wide. The reason: heat! As we all know, again, from secondary school physics, heat will disperse faster from a large surface than from a small surface. It is therefore vitally important to keep the surface of the tea in the cup is small as possible and therefore mugs that slant outwards towards the top are RIGHT OUT!
Given this basic physical fact, I've come to the conclusion that the perfect compromise between heat storage and bisciuit dipping capability is found in a straight mug just under three inches wide - it allows hobnobs to be dipped without breaking them but keeps in the heat at the same time. It should have a handle that lets in three fingers for better grip on sunday mornings and be made of lightcoloured materials for the reasons already stated by others.
Have you found that perfect mug yet? Cos I have... :-P
|Is it a controversial view (maybe even blasphemous) to suggest that digestive biscuits, like a fine wine, improve with age, especially when stored outside a biscuit tin. This allows them to become moist (a kind of a half way house between eating them "neat" and dipping them in "tea"). This is my firm belief, but was wondering what the accepted wisdom on this matter was?|
|Nicey replies: The accepted wisdom is that the Digestive has been rendered stale and nasty through neglect. I've not encountered anybody before who enjoys stale digestives, however, the Irish Kimberley biscuit tastes a bit stale and odd like a digestive that has been left out overnight in the garden. It is widely believed by me, that you need a special gene to enjoy Kimberleys which only the Irish or their descendents have. Perhaps this could be the explanation.
James replied "Mccaul is an Irish name and my family were originally Irish! I am thourghly impressed by your deductions and all round biscuit/genealogy knowledge."