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||Your bloke off to the Antarctic should take ginger biscuits and nibble them slowly to avoid seasickness. Well they are generally suggested to help avoid morning sickness so they might work. Pregnant women are told to lie in bed whilst partner brings in nice cup of tea and a couple of ginger nuts to start the day off well. Let's face it any day that starts with tea and biscuits in bed can't be all bad can it.|
|Nicey replies: Sound advice Paula, I know the Wife would agree with you on the whole tea/staying in bed thing.|
||I note with great regret the sheer ignorance of some biscuit reviewers. Technology has, for many years, been applied to biscuit development and the Wagon Wheel was the initial giant leap. I have concerned myself for many years with biscuit technology and it is my company that is responsible for the Wagon Wheel coating. Biscuit Technology plc (or BT) is a hugely advanced operation and you may have seen our grey vans around.|
Our main laboratory (situated in Rhyl) developed, after research spanning 128 years, a method of electroplating biscuits with a chocolate compound. The compound is simply chocolate mixed with particles of lead ethersulphate de-oxyphospherhydroplasma. When the 'Wheel is dipped in the solution and a current passed through it, the electrons in the chocolate become warmer and are attracted to stale produce. The result is 'chocolate plating' and the other chemicals are lost (mostly) in the process.
We were approached by the Product Development Steering Committee from Burton's with a view to developing a high-performance waterproof biscuit covering. Our brief consisted only of the fact it must be brown, chocolatish and be able to deflect heat, infra-red light and water. Initial tests were performed off-site at a secret military base in Tahiti where casualties would be lower than one would expect when testing such a biscuit finish.
Obviously we cannot divulge the exact nature of the tests as they fall within the official secrets act but it is safe to say that casualties were minimised and only a handful suffered side effects from consuming the wrapper aswell. We are committed to developing high-performance, high-quality advanced biscuit finishes and it is such a shame that there is a blissful ignorance of our nationally important research and development. In the furtherance of biscuit technology even Microsoft can't touch us lot.
Watch out for the vanadium-plated cybergestive coming soon and the new range of anodised custard chromes. Also available at the end of the century will be touch-sensitive software- driven bourbots that are so small they are invisible to the human eye.
|Nicey replies: I was not aware of that.|
You're either a dunker or your not. I don't like dunking my biscuit in my tea and prefer to eat them separately. My wife, however, loves to dunk.
Her latest trick is to sit down with a nice cup of tea and a Penguin (Puffins from Asda are better though) and bite off opposing corners of the biscuit until the chocolate flavouring (or the white or orange stuff depending on the flavour you choose) shows through. Now here's the tricky bit... dip one of the bitten off corners into the tea and suck on the opposite corner until the tea comes through. Your mouth explodes with a multitude of flavours. It could be minty tea or orange tea or chocolatey tea. You have to be quick now though and stuff the whole biscuit in your mouth before it collapses in the tea (ruining an otherwise great sit down with a nice cup of tea). It may take a few cups of tea and several sit downs to get it right but it's worth it. My wife has shown half the staff at the hospital in Liverpool that she works in how to do this and regularly you'll see a Doctor or nurse with chocolate down their front because they weren't quick enough to eat the biscuit before it collapsed!
Great site... and we all love a sit down with a nice cup of tea... it's just that some prefer to dunk.
|Nicey replies: Yes this is the British version of the Australian Tim-Tam slam, popularised by aussie songstress Natalie Imbruglia.|
Your site is a wonderful source of information and amusement. One subject
that I can't find any mention of is the storage of biscuits. I am
particularly partial to McVities Chocolate Hobnobs and Chocolate Caramels,
but I find both of these to be far nicer when eaten directly from the fridge.
They are also less crumbly, and you can usually snap one in half with no
fuss or bother (unlike when they are at rom temperature).
Fridge-based storage also has the effect that the cold chocolate creates a
delicious melting sensation in the mouth.
What do you think?
Keep up the good work - and thanks for all the information. The biscuit
reviews are invaluable.
|Nicey replies: Jon,
Well, I think the taste is not so good if chocolate is chilled, but the texture change is certainly of interest. I imagine a chilled chocolate caramel would put up a bit of a fight. Of course I would advocate biscuit tins as the way forward on storage.
I enjoy a good biscuit as much as the next person, but I especially enjoy dunking biscuits. I don't, however, like dunking biscuits in tea or coffee as the chocolate would melt; I enjoy dunking biscuits in water. Is this unusual?
|Nicey replies: Yes Thom, of course this is unusual. As to being odd, most of us are, with the possible exception of identical twins who may be even.|